I guess one of the nice things about last is that they keep track of what you listen to so even if you forget, you can see where you've been.
I get a similar cycle whenever I'm stressed. I'm in one now. :/
Obsession chains to offshoots of new, related obsessions and I hunger for the new data and experiences. I wonder if it's how alcoholics feel about drinking, the way I feel about my obsessions.
The shame I feel afterward (and during) is rooted in my neglect of other aspects of my life. I forget about things I thought were important. I break what I feel were promises, and I hate myself for that. I could say that I can't help myself, and that may be the case. I have my husband to help pull me out of my obsessions, but I have to have the presence of mind to tell him to remove me from them. It has taken me this long to develop that ability.
You may have a long period of training to put yourself though, learning to trust someone enough to ask them to yank you away from your obsession. I have not yet learned how to do it for myself, but I hope to learn how some day. I have considered trying medications to help with what is, apparently, called "hyper focus" but I have never been on medication and am wary of it.
I realize that the obsession chaining is me attempting to break my own hyper focus on a given obsession and failing to do so, because I become hyper focused on the thing that I attempted to use as a temporary distraction.
I hope that makes sense.
I'm MagsMorrigan on last, by the way. I don't use it much, just when I'm feeling obsessive about finding new bands; although history is my favorite and most choice obsession.
29 Nov 2012, 11:37 pm
