All alone on new years eve, again!

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I did it once before, five years ago. That year I was done studying, moved out of the dormitry and my GF for four years (finally, wisely) broke up with me. I had always felt lonely, but living in the envrionment I did there were plenty of occasional, social events that you were qualified to join just by belonging to some arbitrary group of people. When those relationships ceased, I didn't just feel lonely - I WAS lonely. That finally sunk in when I found myselft completely out of options for any kind of socially acceptable way of spending NYE. I sat on my own and ate and drank and wept, tried to catch some human interaction via IM or texting which did nothing for miserable mood.

It was my all-time-low and I made it a goal never to experience such defeat again. The four most recent NYEs I did manage to sniff out some parties to join, mostly at the mercy of others. But this year I'm out of luck again. The rest of the year I can try and deny my loneliness and cheer myself up: "Aw, you're not that isolated, you have people around you who care, lots of people feel like you from time to time. Maybe plan ahead and ask around and offer to throw a party yourself or something..."

Well that didn't work. I have been hit by the bottom line: I AM lonely as in 'alone'. Period. My self esteem and hope for the future took a great nosedive.

Anyone with similar worries? Any advice?

go out to a bar or club or pub or smth,

And now, a word from our sponsors.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCZGqcMZ6Jw[/youtube]

That song is a bit of a downer.

Think positive, instead of being somewhere with nonstop and incomprehensible noise, untold hoards of people, maybe having to wait to be served at some bar where there is one bartender to every 500 people and you are the invisible one, seeing everybody else with some attractive partner and enjoying themselves whilst you only pretend to enjoy yourself, having trouble getting home in the early hours of a cold morning, you can miss all that horror and have a nice quite evening at home and go to bed at 9:00,

Just writing this makes me glad I haven't got a girlfriend.

I think just going to a bar is a nonstarter. I am introvert and don't have good experience with going out on my own. In my country bars aren't exactly the welcoming, inclusive social hub of the sort describe in 'Cheers' theme song or Petula Clark's 'Downtown'.

I really curse my life right now.

I'm spending new years eve alone aswell, while all my peers are out at parties. I don't care for parties, but I don't like being different to the rest either. I don't know what to do.

Drink before you go to the bar.

I done the same nine years ago and doing it again this one. I hate NYE with a passion!
I nominally spend NYE with my family, its simply an non event as my grandfather died at an NYE party. My mother get upset this time of year.

The first time I spend new years alone was after having an argument with my mother, on that NYE my gf at the time dumped me on that night. This time around I had an argument with my mother (again ) plus NYE is the birthday of my ex, she dumped me a few weeks ago.

So on this NYE I'll be quietly tucked up in bed asleep I hope.

I'm really not that excited about New Year's this year. I spent a good chunk of them alone in the past. I have heard nothing from people when asked and then told them today "It's in my best interest to be alone anyway." Considering when I have been out anyway, I didn't find myself enjoying it. I had one person from POF tell me "i won't allow you to be alone." I politely told them considering I haven't met them yet "I appreciate the gesture, but enjoy your night with your friends."

I'll be out at an EDM show in Philly, where 3 international DJs are performing

Michael Woods
Funkagenda
R3hab

Two years ago i went to copacabana beach to see the fireworks. I had a friend with me. She was there with her family.

Well, surrounded by millions of people i had never felt so lonely.

I think being lonely surrounded by people is worse than just being alone. So since then at new years eve i stay at home with my cats.

Fior had two major meltdowns this week. We had to visit his family, who lives 300 miles away. I told him to just f**k it, and not go. He went because of some weird guilt s**t. I went because I knew he would shut down, and he needed support.

Stresses included

-car trip there and back
-anxiety with people, especially with his parents
-KIDS! lots of little ones under four years old. Sticky hands! Little kids know no boundaries
-his mother's Aspie-ness (which is more apparent as the years go on)
-his right wing neo con father
-strange bed, so he brought his sleeping bag and slept on the floor, which insulted his brother as he paid a $$$$$$ cash for
the condo.
-food smells, odd times, nothing he wanted to eat, his usual fast food places nowhere to be found.
-the Xmess gift stresses. Getting and receiving.


So this built up to two king size meltdowns. Both at me. Both which I told him was total BS, and he should directly address the offending parties, not me. His raging was for the situation he PUT himself into (remember, I didn't want to go), and some
familial nonsense which would take a therapist years to figure out.

I understand why he meltdown down. I left without yelling. He can do whatever he needs to do during a meltdown, but I don't have to
be stand around watching it.

Today he thinks I hate his guts (no), and this huge guilt which he beats himself up with.

Fior slept all day, and will probably be lucky to just function around the house tomorrow (31st). No NYE bashes for us.

He'll decompress at home. A relative will watch our kid, and I will go to a club for some music and adult beverages.

In reality, Fior can't deal with any celebration. The stimulation is just overwhelming. Every year it is the same thing with him. I wish he would just stop it, and tell his parents No.

Me and Mr. Kettel One will have a good time tomorrow. lol.... And I will get a cab.


____________________________________________-

*Get in. Shut up. HANG ON!*

I'm just sitting at home online, drinking some wine for the last time for at least six months because I'm quitting smoking at midnight. I'm going to enjoy some quite time on the computer and hubby will probably watch movies with my youngest daughter. She may or may not have a friend coming over. Youngest son is still trying to hunt up a local party. Oldest daughter and her fiance went out to his sisters party and will spend the night. I used to feel bad if I didn't do anything on NYE, but now I'm just happy to chill and do whatever I want to.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

Be your own best friend. Listen to your favourite music and drink your favourite beverages.