When they say they'll call and don't

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It's so painful when you're lonely...when people suggest doing something in the weekend and say they'll call to arrange a final time, then you don't hear from them all weekend.

It's happened to me so much that nowadays I don't even take their words into account and I make my own plans without leaving time aside just in case.

But it hurts all the same. There's always some tiny bit of hope that they might actually call...

Give it up ... the hope, I mean.

People would rather be appreciated for their good intentions than for actually doing something about them. It's cheaper that way, and takes up less time and effort.

Some Christian friends of mine keep promising to take me golfing "someday" but they never follow through. I finally told them to forget about it, and why. Of course, they were offended, especially when I pointed out that a broken promise is as bad as a lie.

I think people just say things like "I'll give you a call sometime" or "We need to get together and do something" because they consider it the polite thing to say. I've heard this a lot, and there never seems to be any sincerity behind it.
I think some even use it as a "get away" line, sort of like "Okay, I'm bored, how to escape without seeming rude?"

Just my observations.

If you run into any more 'Christian friends' who say they'll call you someday, quote Matthew 12:36 to them---> "But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment." If they're offended by your confrontation, then that shows they're not really Christians.

I've even had self-proclaimed Aspies tell me they'd call me and acted like they wanted to get together with me. I have no idea how good intentions are perceived as being good when they are not acted upon. It is a far worse thing to tell someone you'll do something when you have no intention of actually doing it. Imagine if you were that kind of parent who promised your children you'd do things with them, but never meant it? What kind of adults would those children grow up to be, if not liars?

When I say it, I mean it

I think nts detect weather someone actually means they will call you, a lot of the time anyway. Aspergians just have a tendency to take things quite litterally so it's no surprise we tend to believe people when they will call.

It's happened to me a few times

Ooo ... I can hardly wait!

Then again, they might think that I'm becoming one of them because of the appropriate use of a single Bible verse.

I think so too, because now in retrospect I see there were signs that she didn't really mean to meet. I always see things later, sometimez years later.

Read every response and put them all together, and you then have the truth.

I think it's also a time issue. It depends on how many people you have to catch up with. I think people sometimes do genuinely mean that they're going to call/arrange something, but have time management issues, and don't manage to get around it.

I know there's several people I've promised to have lunch with that I haven't done so yet (and it's been ages) and i really really do want to have lunch with those people, but I haven't found the time on top of everything else, and I feel really bad about it.

So in some cases (but not all i guess, people used to put me off like that all the time at school, and I don't think it was unintentional in every case), people really do want to see you or call you but they might be loaded with other things and forget or not get around to it.

The guilt eats away at me when I think of the people I haven't seen. That's the problem with making more friends than you have time to spend time with, but I could never turn down a new friend.

I know exactly how you feel. Just wait.. Somebody will come around and you'll be happy.

Right now, I'm still waiting... Maybe she'll text me...

Sunshower, ours wasn't a vague comment that we should meet sometime; she said she'd call the next day to finalize the time and place. I was stood up...

"Somebody will come around and you'll be happy."

Amen...

One time I spent 3 hours waiting around for someone to call me, since they said that they would (and I couldn't even make outgoing calls because of the type of the local-only phone service on campus)


I bought a cellphone within the week, vowing to never lose another day to a phonecall that never comes.

Been there too! It does hurt...a lot! Now I have lowered my expectations of others. At least that way, I'm no longer disappointed. Still it would be nice to be included in stuff. Usually, I'm left out too!

I've had this happen more times than I can count!! It makes me paranoid, that maybe they think I'll be a perpetual nuisance if they actually follow through on what they said they would do. For example, a friend or acquaintance suggests doing something over the weekend.....maybe s/he isn't expecting a "yes" or gets cold feet at the actual reality of what they offered.