This is really getting at me- I've had the same interest from October till now and it's one I got back from when I was around eight years old. I had it for about two weeks and them I suddenly had a dip in interest, I barely cared at all for a few days then it came back again. I've had this on and off since and it upsets me so much because I never know what's coming next and I feel so guilty for leaving things behind. It's nowhere near as strong as my last one and barely consumes me at all. I keep giving up on things, related songs, making arrows for my bow, a music video and a seventy page piece of writing that was being churned out with no enjoyment. I feel so bad for not wanting to finish things, I hate going into this spot where the level of my interest is just gone. I hate not finishing things but I was told specifically by my psychologist to not force myself to do something, that if I didn't want to finish something I didn't have to. I feel really down and have no interest in anything when I have no interest and I have very few high moments when the interest just totally consumes me.
Why have I started to do this? I just want to feel secure again!
I've actually began to wonder if I am bipolar the way I get these sudden drops in interest in everything and cry and feel sick and headachy I did an online test and got 17 when the cut off for being bipolar was 22 but I'm really not very good at answering the questionnaires that say agree and strongly agree and that sort of thing I just get confused. I really feel so hopeless and I have to go back to school in three days and I feel really awful.
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~Pixie~