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I'm sorry that you're feeling so terrible, YellowBanana. It sounds as though the psych liaison was negligent in not informing your psychiatrist that you needed immediate help.

Could you call your psychiatrist and let him/her know that you need help right away? Or if your psychiatrist isn't available, would it be possible to call the hospital and speak with the psych liaison again?

Also, however awful you're feeling, PLEASE don't make another attempt to walk into traffic- you could end up horribly injured or cause harm to other people if a driver swerves to avoid you.

I really hope that things improve for you soon. Jenny

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I'd like to offer you some hope. I'm on my 2nd go around. I decided to end it all years ago by swallowing 47 sleeping pills and washing it down with beer. Since I already had cocaine in my system, I figured the combination of all three should do the trick. It didn't They pumped my stomach and I spent two months in a psych hospital.

Like I'd said, this is my 2nd go around. I wrote a novel and about 40 short stories last year. I see all this new creativity as redemption. In other words, I'm happy I failed. I really do hope you give life another chance. It's worth it in the end.

The response from the people in the hospital sounds disturbing...almost careless even. If I was a doctor who was treating someone who attempted suicide, I would see to it that they got psychiatric help immediately.

Though in my case I once admitted myself in the hospital for suicide urge. I was checked in at the ER and was placed in a room by myself...for six hours!! !

I normally don't encourage lawsuits, but you may have one against the psych liaison.

Why do you want to die so badly? Is your life so bad that you have to end it all? If it's just something wrong with your mind, there must be some kind of relief. I just don't understand why you would want to kill yourself so badly, there are people in this world who live in sweatshops and work 16 hours a day and they aren't the ones trying to commit suicide.

I also think it's pretty selfish to say that you wanted someone to hit you and not swerve out of the way, because if he/she had have hit you, that guilt is not only on you but on the driver too, you could ruin their entire life just because you want to commit suicide.

Personally I think you should get some help, maybe there's some medication you can take, or maybe you need to talk to someone who can do something to help you. Just please think before you do something that could not just end your life, but someone else's as well.

edit: removed quote of OP's post due to her deletion of it - I hope that was the right thing to do?

Please don't kill yourself :/ I really do empathise (rare for me) with how you feel right now. I'm not gonna hijack your thread but suffice to say I have a lot of thoughts along similar lines to yours atm. I really hope you find that one thing that stops you - for me that thing is stubbornness, I'm pissed off at the world and I don't want it to beat me and take away my one chance at life (although right now I can't see much good coming of it). I wish I could share a little of that feeling with you. It's good that you told us about your plans at least but now you have done that please do something to avert this - a good start would be getting rid of the drugs you're stockpiling and speaking to somebody.

Some part of you knows this is a mistake. Believe that part. It knows whats best in the long run.

Dear YB,

Firstly thanks for sharing and being so candid.

Secondly, even though you may feel alone please know that you aren't. There are many people who understand and have, or are, feeling like you do.

Thirdly, the fact that you are discussing this with us is proof that you really don't want to do this. A cry for help, even if it's on a subliminal level.

I've had suicidal feelings my entire life, well from adolescence at least, and made a few attempts. I know how it is to feel misunderstood, miserable and frustrated a lot of the time.

I'm here if you want to chat.

Please, don't kill yourself.

Thank you all for your concern. I am OK for now. I deleted the original message for various reasons. Thankyou InvisibleSilent for deleting the quotation of my original post