Feeling unloved? Vent it here.

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Specifically, while this is kinda like the 'rants' thread, this one centers on one issue: Feeling unloved, so I thought it would merit its own thread; any comments of encouragement and support are welcome here, as well.
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Here's a refresh of an old comment:

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LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

About time this thread is made!

Well, I didn't fit in with most kids at my elementary school, as I wasn't into football, baseball, or basketball. I befriended a gamer kid when I was 10, but he moved away. I also made some friends in middle school, but they took up drinking and drugs. It was hard to befriend people in high school since they were really busy and I had a lot of homework. I wanted a girlfriend but I was perceived as too weird. I had problems with hand motions (mostly gone now) and couldn't even form a sentence in conversation.

I feel it's even harder in college since now there's more busywork. I found out girls think I sound boring, that's why they aren't interested in me! Even some of the introverted girls perceived me as such. Things have improved relatively recently now that I understand but I still have a ton of busywork on my mind. I still haven't had my first kiss though.

I'm pretty sure I'm a vogon and no one has bothered to tell me that. Either out of fear of reprisal or perhaps due to them choking on their own vomit.

For those that don't know, Vogons are Douglas Adams' Big green alien antagonists from the "Hitchhiker's Guide" series. Who are known for being hideous green bureaucrats with bad tempers, an extreme lack of empathy and a deadly penchant for bad poetry.

Do I have to make a serious point now? This is a feeling unloved thread, right? I've had one relationship with a shrew who didn't really love me but wanted free room and board, and my parents hate me and most people react to me as if I have an aura that inspires a level of human hatred usually reserved for Nazis and Republican Politicians.

Sorry, that's the best I can do today. Too depressed.

not much more to say than yes i feel unloved. more than likely i am unloved

I am feeling unloved. Always have. It's because I am.

It's even worse now though. I'm in a situation where I love somebody with all my heart, but they can't see the forest for the trees. We are so connected that every time something happens to one of us, it happens to the other person. She doesn't realize that she's hurting me either. Just says one or two words to me these days and that's it. It's like I don't even matter to her. But you know, I kind of expected that. I don't matter to anyone, not even other aspies. That's the worst feeling of all, when your own kind rejects you.

I have always felt unloved. I feel like people go out of their way to avoid me. I think my personality comes off as a bit odd and my anxiety certainly shows, also being pretty unattractive can result in people not wanting to associate with me. I had the hardest time fitting in with kids in all the years I was in school. I don't even feel like my family loves me, my mom barely talks to me and my brother has cut off all communication with me. I hate being stuck like this, having nobody to talk to, it's the worst thing ever.

I definitely feel this way too. Worse, because of my age it seems that anyone I meet that I get along with is too much younger than me to want a relationship. They talk to me, are nice to me and are glad to see me but when I try to ask them out, all I get is blown off. I think it is impossible for any sane woman to want anything to do with me unless it is to use my kindness and generosity in some way. Yes, one or two insane women (and I mean they were certifiable) have wanted me, but I figured I was better off alone than dealing with their drama. There was no way I would develop feelings for them so there was no point to going any further.

*draws breath* Well, I had to get up early to watch my sister's 2 year old son, since she had to be at school by 8AM. I was kinda hoping my dad would have taken him with them this morning, but my hopes were dashed when he opened the door to my room and told her son to come in with me. So, I ended up going to sit with him in my dad's bedroom while he watched children's shows on PBS. My dad got home at 8:30 and .... fast forward through the next 2 hours to 10:30 ... my dad asked me about going to Nampa to retrieve my phone from the motel (I forgot about it in the morning packing rush a month earlier), and I replied, "No, I called and I'm going to try and get it mailed to me." So, after about 5 minutes, he lit into me and told me I'm always taking matters into my own hands without consulting him.

Well, he took her kid on a walk and I went to my room, and as soon as I sat down on the bed, I just sat there silently for a minute, and then I started talking to myself and before I knew it, I had broke down in tears. It was not so much getting lectured this morning as all the other things going on with the family (all the exploitation by my little sister, guilt trips from my dad, anger from my little sister, rejection by hyper-religious aunt, etc.). I couldn't bring myself to stop crying for more than 40 minutes.... here about 4 hours later, I am still feeling like I want to cry.

I'm mostly an optimistic person; whenever I feel bad, I tend to overeat myself, but those occasions are rare. And even at that, I do that when I feel REALLY bad.

However, there was one occasion where I finally did crack this year: It was in mid-May, and I can't remember now what led to this (but a reasonable guess would be another friendship lost), but I slit my wrists out of anger of myself. Yeah..... it really hurt me.

_________________
LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

I almost wound up crying in the Wal Mart parking lot tonight. I had a realization that at least part of the reason I spend so much time and money on my vehicles is that I have no one in my life to put that effort towards instead. Thus, despite having a lot of love to give, all I can put it towards are my old cars and truck which will never be able to love me back in return. The money I would like to spend on flowers, dinner and such with a special woman will forever go unspent if I don't put it towards maintaining my things as it is not possible for anyone to ever love me. All I can have is a poor substitute and the occasional person who uses me for my kind heart and willingness to help them in their hour of need, but who never cares about me in return.

Yeah..... the whole wrist-slitting thing that I did is behind me........ but sometimes I have days where I fear something bad will happen to me.

_________________
LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

If anyone else feels unloved, feel free to post it here.

_________________
LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

Still feel this way. I feel pretty damn worthless right about now.