Dealing with pain

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I don't really know who will respond to this, my topics don't get a lot of replies too often (or so the few I make don't).

Today I had to do a job at work that required me to be very social... even at what is already a very social job. I think people treat you a certain way.. if you're too nice, or if you don't make eye contact--with disrespect.

I won't specify details in this post because I don't want anyone to accidentally come across it that I may know who'll figure it out.

Basically i'm the type of guy that doesn't deal with being teased well. Why? Because i've been teased repeatedly growing up. Thinking my awkward gait was being pigeon towed or bowlegged. Hearing people commenting on my walk in each school I went to hurt somewhat because its not something to this day I am physically able to perceive.

In 6th grade I was bullied, by a random kick who teased me.. and when I teased back he sucker punched the hell out of me. I cried.. I was very prone to crying when I was younger. I was called gay or a crybaby or constantly teased and criticized.

In highschool, it got more of the same.. I got jumped, people called me ret*d because of how I walked among other things. Seventh and eighth grade.. i switched schools due to bullying and they were okay grades. Highschool however.. was filled with the same kids who harassed me in 6th grade.

I say this to make a point.. I'm sensitive to being teased, I know this about myself. Leading back to my job, today at the work place I had to do an incredibly social job and work with people I don't normally work with. I've gotten told, teasingly that I look sad or that i'm about to cry (while at work). Some days I have are great.. others are just filled with jackasses.

Now this guy who I never really talk to started to say I looked sad. I told him I wasn't, he then persisted asking me if he could cheer me up in a joking manner. It was fine at first, but then he started to joke and laugh about it for a LONG time. It bothered the hell out of me, he said it looked like I was going to cry. Then other people were around and they commented, co-workers, customers even a manager were around and either commented or said nothing. Due to my inability to sustain eye contact with a lot of people around, I had to not make eye contact or I may have actually cried.



When they left.. dude kept trying to joke, so I confronted him and told him basically that I didn't find it funny. That one thing that would make me feel better is if he shutup and that I was tired of him saying I was sad. He then rebutted saying he never said that.. YEAH he did for an hour and a half, singing about it infact. I told him "I don't care what you say, you did and its a basic piece of psychology that if you're ACTUALLY trying to cheer someone up to stop telling them they look sad".

After that the guy shutup and didn't talk to me for the remainder of the work shift. But its lead me to think, is it perceived weakness that causes this crap to happen? I could be an incredible as*hole like everyone else and fit in but.. thats not the way I want to live my life, I only get one and I refuse to conform to this BS. While this guys personality was "somewhat annoying" not anyone else was teased the same way I was.

But while he may have been trying to be a prick intentionally to embarrass me, its not just him.. its with everyone, my cousin, my girlfriend.. I think I am way the hell to sensitive to jokes. Particularly if they're repetitive.. my cousin and girlfriend are family to me, there jokes aren't hurtful, but it all reminds me of being bullied.

I just don't know how to deal with this emotional issue.

You have a specific problem and understand the roots of your issue.

This is a case where therapy could be very helpful. There's no simple advise that's likely to help you anytime someone pokes you where it hurts.

Working within the safety of a therapeutic relationship you can explore this issue and find ways to cope, communicate or deflect when this arises in various settings. How to best work with this will be very different with family than it would be in the workplace, for instance.

Hopefully that is the case. I've been seeing a psychologist for quite a while now, but my focus was anxiety. With this crap happening, it feels like this could make having a normal life difficult.

Ask your doc about this and specifically ask for ways to deal with teasing/bullying. The only way I know that works once it has started is to react agressively and tell them to **** off and if they persist get in their face and verbally attack their ***hole selves. There has got to be a better method, or methods then that.

i tend to be sensitive to jokes too, and i don't like being teased. i reflexively ask people to stop, though not usually with any emotion. therapy did help, and MountainLaurel had great advice.