Valentines will probably suck for me

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Spoke to husband and told him I got him something nice(some nice chocolates he likes, a funny card, and we are going out for lunch tomorrow my treat.)

Husband told me he's not getting me any flowers, jewelry, lingerie, and/or present and he might get me a card. I've been married to him for 10 years. So every other woman who I know who is married is getting some combo of the above and since they know I'm married I get to tell them I got nothing in terms of a gift when I'm asked and get to read lots of status updates about how wonderful their boyfriend, lover, husband, friend with benefits, or boyfriend of the day is. I realize it is not about what you get but this man is never romantic with me. Surely a pre-programmed day with the simple flowers and cards from the grocery store isn't too hard for him....oh and he has a good job and the store is ten minutes away. Plus I reminded him on Sunday so he's had plenty of time. I circled 2 things from the kroger ad some chocolate covered strawberries and some flowers as an either or in terms of an acceptable gift....not even the roses but the 12 dollar flowers in a pot which I can plant outside in a month or so.

My husband has always been on/off in terms of Valentines gifts. Some years he'd get me something (usually chocolate) and other years not. Yesterday he told me he's unsure about whether he wants to be with me long term (we've been together 19 years). Yes, my valentines will probably suck too.

I just want to feel loved and cared about........on a day when most women in relationships are made to feel special I want to feel special too

You have a loving spouse. Period. That puts you leagues ahead of many of us...

If you get an extra hug and kiss for V-day, count your blessings and enjoy them, rather than moan you didn't get a grand gesture that empties the bank account.

umm my spouse doesn't much care for physical contact.....I hardly think what I want is a grand gesture. I wish he would kiss me and I would like a hug........but he feels that too much physical contact is bad for the soul......and no he didn't tell me this while dating........this is a new thing.....he hates physical contact and is functionally asexual.

His last interaction with me was a critique of my programming ability and how I didn't understand printf and how to make the computer understand I needed the equation worked....I knew it was %f but it was supposed to be =%f plus yelling at me about how I didn't know about pow when it's not in the book I'm learning from.

I think I'll take some sleeping meds tomorrow and just go to bed at 7. Not worth staying up and feeling like cr@p.

If he's not saying all those things so he can mislead you and throw a huge "10th Anniversery Surprise" date or some other romatic gesture, I'd say it sounds like you two really need to reevaluate your relationship.

Get him all the flowers, chocolate etc. and hope it makes him feel massively guilty.

If it makes you feel better, so far my Valentines has been:

1) Denied leave, even though certain co-workers seem to have so much leave they take it without asking.
2) Flat tyre. Probably $260 replacement again.
3) Tool we use to wrap pallets breaks. Have friction burns on my hands where the cardboard rubbed
4) Having to do other peoples jobs
5) Some imbecile packed two pallets poorly, both fell apart on me.

And I'm only just finishing lunch now.

One day, I'll look back and laugh, but for now I'm feeling slightly homicidal. Don't worry, I'm not going to kill anyone, I just feel ugh.

mine's slated to suck too:

- girl I deeply love and care about is hanging out all day tomorrow with freaking drug dealer & user she has been falling for lately.... Of all gdamn things.
- another girl that seemed to be showing interest in me of late (first time in my life this happened) showed all the signs in the past two days of what I call 'im being overly friendly with you because I need something from you' pattern (no its not romantic or sexual either). So.. yah..yay me. I must have forgotten to remove the 'tool' sticker from my back all these years...
- odd lump near my tonsil has not gone away after a week of strong antibiotics so F me if its cancer. blood test tomorrow or friday depending on availability. yay.

This is what I would do if I wanted to ever be in a relationship. Buy your husband a gift he wants and also buy gifts you want. Give them to your husband but make sure they end up with you.

I'm echoing the other posters' suggestions to give him gifts, except without ulterior motives. If he's not "romantic" enough, why don't you be the one to sweep him off his feet instead?

It really sounds like he needs marriage counseling. A lot of men are romantically challenged or lazy but he seems to have more serious issues.

he drove the marriage counselor nuts and she refused to see him.....he is a Narcissist(he has the diagnosis too)
our daughter asked him if didn't he love me and started to cry.......he ended up getting her a giant heart balloon....taking her shopping and they(four year old daughter selected a candy bar, some tulips) how do I know? daughter told me......
I picked up some chipotle and I'm calling it a day.

awhile he thrives on admiration and I'm very honest........