Fear of being loved/Parental Jumping

Post Reply New Topic

I re-examined part of my issue with any relationships (Friends, Instructors, Family, Potential Love Interests)
Most who actually seem to care one iota outside their own personal realm have all said the same thing - Ask for help
I think I fear being helped, having assistance, being anything but self-taught, or being on the recieving end of love. I give, but most of the time refuse to recieve.

So the question is: How should I get over this? This is also stunting future progress in all areas that require confidence (See: Everything). The source of said fear is still in my life - namely parents.
They keep mixing me up. My creative mother, who I look up to, I have to keep from semi-fatalistic tendancies, and my father... I'd say 100% bipolar or split personality or something, but I am no shrink. I'm just the grown-up kid who has to actually deal with the take out anger, and the mind games they play, at least fo a little while longer.

In addition, I seem to take on tasks to try to reinstall hope in those already hurting - convincing people to not commit suicide, that sort of thing. I seem to have a knack for that, in the, "but the flowers are blue, there are still stars, not everything is bad," sense.

Sorry, Just needed to get that out of my system. Heh, anyone near Knoxville want to go stargazing.

It seems to me you believe being helped = weakness and a failure on your part.

Reframe that.

Being helped is not weakness.
Being loved is not needy.
Doing EVERYTHING by yourself - doesnt work.

Still have the issue of the parents. It has gotten so that they make life seem contradictory. I help be a counselor for one, and the other almost seems manic (some form of mania). And I have no outlet.
It makes it hard to get my own self in order.
I am seriously considering trying to fully get away from my current location. Get grants, find jobs, finish college, that sort of thing - and never looking back.
But, Tennessee is one of the few places where if you can't stand it, you can go for a walk and see the trees and birds, and calm down some. It is also somewhat all I know.

A parents relationship is not a good place to find yourself somehow involved in. They must sort it out themselves. You on the other hand may need a mix of practical experience and professional assistance. Life is mainly learned by doing, but some things are different between NT and AS and understanding those is important to successfully integrating into the world as it is. By all means realistically plan and move out as soon as is economically feasible. In the meantime be sure to be neutral in issues between your folks.

Sweet Pea hugs