It's best that I tell you guys about this devastating thing that happened to me, in hopes I find a solution to break the repeated sadness.
(If this is not the right place for me to ask for help about it, please move to the right place. thanks.)
It happened last Spring, when I met her online. For safety purposes, she's under the alias Annie Tyler. She was the 1st friend I had outside of church, she was a fellow aspie (but she was also Atheist) and I was so happy with her as we always hanged out almost everyday. Me and my family helped her out sometimes and we treated her like a part of my family (since she had a bad family history that left her with a broken family). I sometimes agreed with everything she said, and she even introduced me to classic rock, her favorite genre of music. I even bought her a mug from my trip to Las Vegas. that's how much I cared for her.
However, the happy days came to an end when that October last year, she stopped being my friend on Facebook and closed every communication with me on every site I was friends with her. The next day I came to her place and before I said a word, she slammed the door on my face. I got confused on why she did it. My other friend who's also her friend told me a month later that Annie thought I was being creepy when I wasn't.
That December, I decided to make amends with her that Christmas, but she texted me after repeated attempts forme to call her, "Try to call me or go near me or I'll call the cops, leave me alone." I ended up crying that day because of it.
The final blow on my attempts to make amends with her came January, when thanks to my friend, she told me where she now lived, as Annie's old place was now barren and no one lived in the old place she used to be. When I got there, someone answered the door and asked if she was there, the person lied that she wasn't there (since I heard her voice) and I pretended to leave but decided to stay a bit in the hopes she'll come out, but minutes later the police came and interrogated me. luckily they didn't arrest me, and let me go on the condition I never come back to her.
Then... a few blocks away, I started to cry because this was the harshest thing I ever felt from a fellow Aspie. then I remembered something Annie told me before it all happened- she told me about a family curse she had. Her grandma got it and then her mother and now her. not to mention she told me before that someday I will hate her. it did end up ringing true.
As of today I still get haunted by the memories of her, especially her look (since she looked like Anne Hathaway before Anne chopped her hair off for a movie). No matter how hard I try to forget her, it comes back like it cursed me for life.
I don't know how am I going to deal with this... I almost felt like crying whenever I remember it. I just want the memories gone for good.
21 Apr 2013, 12:13 am
