Ostracisation and long term effect

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namaste
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06 Apr 2013, 2:29 pm

Ok i found this article about long term effect of ostracisation. I am currently being ostracised badly by society my colleagues, my colony people and my relatives
Its damaging me completely and this article is even more shocking
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/20 ... 151216.htm

"Being excluded or ostracized is an invisible form of bullying that doesn't leave bruises, and therefore we often underestimate its impact," said Kipling D. Williams, a professor of psychological sciences. "Being excluded by high school friends, office colleagues, or even spouses or family members can be excruciating. And because ostracism is experienced in three stages, the life of those painful feelings can be extended for the long term. People and clinicians need to be aware of this so they can avoid depression or other negative experiences."

When a person is ostracized, the brain's dorsal anterior cingulate cortex, which registers physical pain, also feels this social injury, Williams said. The process of ostracism includes three stages: the initial acts of being ignored or excluded, coping and resignation.

Williams' research is reported in the current issue of Current Directions in Psychological Sciences. The article was co-authored by Steve A. Nida, associate provost and dean of The Citadel Graduate College and a professor of psychology.

"Being excluded is painful because it threatens fundamental human needs, such as belonging and self-esteem," Williams said. "Again and again research has found that strong, harmful reactions are possible even when ostracized by a stranger or for a short amount of time."

More than 5,000 people have participated in studies using a computer game designed by Williams to show how just two or three minutes of ostracism can produce lingering negative feelings.

"How can it be that such a brief experience, even when being ignored and excluded by strangers with whom the individual will never have any face-to-face interaction, can have such a powerful effect?" he said. "The effect is consistent even though individuals' personalities vary."

People also vary in how they cope, which is the second stage of ostracism. Coping can mean the person tries to harder be included. For example, some of those who are ostracized may be more likely to engage in behaviors that increase their future inclusion by mimicking, complying, obeying orders, cooperating or expressing attraction.

"They will go to great lengths to enhance their sense of belonging and self-esteem," Williams said.
If they feel there is little hope for re-inclusion or that they have little control over their lives, they may resort to provocative behavior and even aggression.
"At some point, they stop worrying about being liked, and they just want to be noticed," Williams said.
However, if a person has been ostracized for a long time, they may not have the ability to continue coping as the pain lingers. Some people may give up, Williams said.

"The third stage is called resignation. This is when people who have been ostracized are less helpful and more aggressive to others in general," he said. "It also increases anger and sadness, and long-term ostracism can result in alienation, depression, helplessness and feelings of unworthiness."
Williams is trying to better understand how ostracized individuals may be attracted to extreme groups and what might be the reactions of ostracized groups.
"These groups provide members with a sense of belonging, self-worth and control, but they can fuel narrowness, radicalism and intolerance, and perhaps a propensity toward hostility and violence toward others," he said. "When a person feels ostracized they feel out of control, and aggressive behavior is one way to restore that control. When these individuals come together in a group there can be negative consequences."

Williams is a professor in the Department of Psychological Sciences in Purdue's College of Health and Human Sciences.


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CaptainTrips222
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07 Apr 2013, 3:29 pm

Hmmm... I don't think most people resort to violence or extreme hostility, but I can imagine the anger and cynicism.



Sweetleaf
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08 Apr 2013, 3:06 am

Not so sure it would necessarily lead to aggression, though I can see why it would but I haven't really gone in that direction...If anything I've gone more in the anxiety direction like constantly worried about somehow annoying people, pissing them off or something and facing more ostracism or anger. Makes sense what it says about it registering as pain and all..........yes ostracism is painful and that pain doesn't seem to just go away with time.


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08 Apr 2013, 6:43 am

Yes, it is very painful to be excluded and ostracized, and over the long term it has increased my anger towards those responsible. However, at this stage of my life (I'll be 50 in September), I am very close to (if not already at) stage 3... giving up and just doing my own thing.


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Briarsprout
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08 Apr 2013, 7:58 am

I am ostracized from my family and work mates to some degree. My only support is my husband.

• But yes, I try to not be committed to their issues or care as life is too short
• I try not to dwell on stuff I cannot change
• I am trying this Spring to join some social groups etc. in order to develop greater social bonds

I think we are wonderful people really and some types of so called “normals” are attracted to us as friends etc.



GiantHockeyFan
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08 Apr 2013, 1:27 pm

I've said it countless times here at WP. The beatings I endured in school hurt but they were NOTHING compared to being ostracized by almost the entire class in grade 8. I'm still battling the negative effects of this to this day and it took only a few weeks (after it stopped) for the bruises to heal. Imagine watching a baseball game on TV and when the batter strikes out, both teams run to the mount and celebrate. Yep, that's pretty much what I had to endure in school.

I almost find it MORE frustrating how I'm EXTREMELY well liked at work, but when I join a sports club comprised almost exclusively of those in their early to mid 20s (i.e. my social equals) I'm liked by a few and downright HATED by others. I can't figure out why I can do the same thing as three other players yet only I get accused of (nonexistent) malicious intentions and no matter what happens, nobody ever backs me up no matter how right I am.



CaptainTrips222
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08 Apr 2013, 4:39 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
I've said it countless times here at WP. The beatings I endured in school hurt but they were NOTHING compared to being ostracized by almost the entire class in grade 8. I'm still battling the negative effects of this to this day and it took only a few weeks (after it stopped) for the bruises to heal. Imagine watching a baseball game on TV and when the batter strikes out, both teams run to the mount and celebrate. Yep, that's pretty much what I had to endure in school.

I almost find it MORE frustrating how I'm EXTREMELY well liked at work, but when I join a sports club comprised almost exclusively of those in their early to mid 20s (i.e. my social equals) I'm liked by a few and downright HATED by others. I can't figure out why I can do the same thing as three other players yet only I get accused of (nonexistent) malicious intentions and no matter what happens, nobody ever backs me up no matter how right I am.


You're lucky it was only 8th grade.



CaptainTrips222
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08 Apr 2013, 4:43 pm

DJFester wrote:
Yes, it is very painful to be excluded and ostracized, and over the long term it has increased my anger towards those responsible. However, at this stage of my life (I'll be 50 in September), I am very close to (if not already at) stage 3... giving up and just doing my own thing.


I think those three stages are what people go through each time ostracizing happens. I don't know if they mean you get to stage three and stay there for life. It's like the grief process, and how you can be there more than once.



KagamineLen
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08 Apr 2013, 5:15 pm

As much as I hate to admit it, I did find my way into one "extreme group" in my late teens/early '20s, and it was a group of ostracized young men feeding off each other's hatred for the world around them. I got out of that when I was about 22-23, as I eventually became ostracized because I didn't feel any of those guys were entitled to hurt others over their past experiences.

Well, I am now surrounded with healthy people in 12-step recovery, so that's improvement.



namaste
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14 Apr 2013, 4:47 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
I've said it countless times here at WP. The beatings I endured in school hurt but they were NOTHING compared to being ostracized by almost the entire class in grade 8. I'm still battling the negative effects of this to this day and it took only a few weeks (after it stopped) for the bruises to heal. Imagine watching a baseball game on TV and when the batter strikes out, both teams run to the mount and celebrate. Yep, that's pretty much what I had to endure in school.

I almost find it MORE frustrating how I'm EXTREMELY well liked at work, but when I join a sports club comprised almost exclusively of those in their early to mid 20s (i.e. my social equals) I'm liked by a few and downright HATED by others. I can't figure out why I can do the same thing as three other players yet only I get accused of (nonexistent) malicious intentions and no matter what happens, nobody ever backs me up no matter how right I am.

ya more then physical injury its emotional pain that ultimately leads to complications.
i am experiencing increase in hormone levels due to adrenal stress
the stress build up is actually hurting my thyroid and leading to multiple health issues


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metaldanielle
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15 Apr 2013, 7:59 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
I've said it countless times here at WP. The beatings I endured in school hurt but they were NOTHING compared to being ostracized by almost the entire class in grade 8. I'm still battling the negative effects of this to this day and it took only a few weeks (after it stopped) for the bruises to heal. Imagine watching a baseball game on TV and when the batter strikes out, both teams run to the mount and celebrate. Yep, that's pretty much what I had to endure in school.

I almost find it MORE frustrating how I'm EXTREMELY well liked at work, but when I join a sports club comprised almost exclusively of those in their early to mid 20s (i.e. my social equals) I'm liked by a few and downright HATED by others. I can't figure out why I can do the same thing as three other players yet only I get accused of (nonexistent) malicious intentions and no matter what happens, nobody ever backs me up no matter how right I am.


You're lucky it was only 8th grade.

+1


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15 Apr 2013, 8:25 pm

metaldanielle wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
I've said it countless times here at WP. The beatings I endured in school hurt but they were NOTHING compared to being ostracized by almost the entire class in grade 8. I'm still battling the negative effects of this to this day and it took only a few weeks (after it stopped) for the bruises to heal. Imagine watching a baseball game on TV and when the batter strikes out, both teams run to the mount and celebrate. Yep, that's pretty much what I had to endure in school.

I almost find it MORE frustrating how I'm EXTREMELY well liked at work, but when I join a sports club comprised almost exclusively of those in their early to mid 20s (i.e. my social equals) I'm liked by a few and downright HATED by others. I can't figure out why I can do the same thing as three other players yet only I get accused of (nonexistent) malicious intentions and no matter what happens, nobody ever backs me up no matter how right I am.


You're lucky it was only 8th grade.

+1


+2