Please Help...Senior Trip fiasco and everyone hates me.

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I didn't sign up to go on my school's senior trip because I didn't have any friends at the beginning of this year (when sign up was). There are a few spots open and my new friends want me to buy a ticket. My Uncle offered to drive a check to my house for the full amount (620 dollars!) and told my friends. I had to deny because I CAN NOT DO THINGS like that unexpectedly. I must take days, if not weeks, to mentally prepare myself. I don't like new places, and I don't like doing things someone else's way (in this case, the school's way). Now everyone of my friends is extremely upset with me and they don't understand. They told me things like "You just need to break out of your bubble", "live a little for once", "you are just a stick in the mud" and "why do you seem so sad all the time?"

I don't understand why they don't understand.
I want to spend time with them, I LOVE MY FRIENDS, but this is not the way to do it.
I need help.
What am i doing wrong?
Am i selfish for not going due to these personal reasons?
I am freaking out.
What do i do?
I CAN"T GO!

Well, a trip like that isn't the best way to try out making yourself do things that are uncomfortable for you. That's just too long and you won't be able to do it. I hate unexpected things too, but I've learned to deal with them pretty well but if I have a lot of them without a few days break in between I tend to not be able to handle it and get close to a meltdown.

The first thing I would do is tell your friends that you will go. You don't have to have any intention of going at all, but act like you do. Keep this up for a couple of days and then make up something that came up which makes you unable to go. If your uncle is nice enough to offer to pay for the trip, he should be nice enough to go along with this plan. He won't even have to pay anything, but since he told your friends I'm assuming that he knows them. Tell him what you are planning and have him go along with it. This way everybody is happy - your friends think you are trying to do things like a regular kid would do and they know you want to hang with them and you are happy because you aren't going to actually have to go it, and your uncle is happy because he gets to keep his money.

After that though, you need to start working up to doing things like that so you can deal with it next time something like that comes up. The way I learned to deal with things I just couldn't deal with at all is I made myself do one little thing. One little thing that I just felt that I could not do without breaking down and crying or just shutting down completely. I had trouble with lots of things back then but one thing I just couldn't do was anything that would call attention to myself. One of the first things I made myself do was during a pep rally in the gym with the whole school there and my class sitting at the far end of the gym and up high on the bleachers, I made myself get up, climb down the bleachers, walk across the gym in front of the bleachers, in front of everybody and while the cheerleaders were doing their thing too even, and over to the bathroom. That sounds so very simple, and it is now, but back then I couldn't even breath while I was doing it. I felt that everybody was looking at me or making fun of me, etc. I added more things as time went on and eventually within a few years I was a majorette performing in front of the whole school during a pep rally. So, start small with unexpected things. Get someone to help you out, somebody who wont laugh or tell. Maybe a family member or your closest friend. Have them spring something on you and make yourself go. Force yourself to go to McDonalds or a movie with them when you had plans to sit down and watch your favorite tv show, or get online for a while, or do something else that isn't really important like homework or filing taxes or going to the dentist or anything like that. Something that has no long term effects if it's not done. You won't want to go, you will feel like you can't do it, make yourself do it though. It's not for very long and you'll never get to the point where you can just up and go somewhere without plans if you don't ever take the first step. Stay there the whole time, never more than a couple of hours, and then come back and realize that you did it and then do it again in a few days.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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I don't think they hate you. They're disappointed that you're not going to be with them, and that's good when you think about it. They must be good friends if your not going bothers them.

It's up to you whether you want to try or not. You only get one senior class trip and if you miss it you'll never get another chance. Is there anything you can do to speed up your prep time? You'll have your friends with you, so you won't be alone. It will still be like hanging out with them, only in a different location.

It helps me when I go someplace new to look at the place on Google maps, look at pictures on the Internet of the location. You can even go to the hotel site and see pictures of rooms and the lobby, etc. You've known about the class trip for months, so you've had it in your mind for a long time -- the place, where the class will be going and what they'll be seeing. And you've heard people talking about it? Any way you could try to fool yourself into thinking all that was prep time?

Sometimes the best thing is to accept yourself the way you are, but not let it hold you back either. If something like this has happened before and you didn't think you could do it but you made it and didn't have a horrible time, can you think about that and trust that you can do this too?

I didn't go on my senior trip because i didn't have any friends either, and who would i have roomed with would've been too uncomfortable, though i wish i would've gone to escape the misery of school

Honestly for people reading this I wuld never recomend telling a lie, arn't aspies supost to be bad at it? If you want to cover just say it costs too much becouse it actually does, so thats not a lie and the anwser is a matter of persective.