I'm looking at my curtain rail

Post Reply New Topic

It won't take much to get that belt fastened around it, climb up onto the window ledge, slip my neck under and jump.

Can anyone give me something to live for? Please, no advice. I just want a friend or something. Something tangible.

I've tried more or less everything. Medication, counselling, psychiatrists, self improvement.

I have money but that's it. No friends, lost the love of my life and nobody is interested in anything I have to say.

Don't do it.

You can PM me, rant all you want. I can try to help you work through it, I can just listen... whatever you need. Don't do it.

Sounds like you had someone to relate to in square one. That's more than a lot of us can say. And please, feel free to message me too. We all need people challenging our preconceptions.

I'm very sorry to hear that you are considering ending your life.
Do you have anything you enjoy doing, for example, listening to/playing music, reading, writing, drawing, spending time with animals, or outdoors, collecting things, learning?
This is one of my favourite songs, which helps me to keep going: [quote][url=http://]Blackbird- The Beatles[/url]
I know that others have said this already, but please feel free to message me, as well. I wouldn't mind, i'd like to hear from you.

Dear Winner,

Please do not do this. I am another who would accept your messages, your rants, your fears and frustrations. The best reason I can give you to keep going is my own personal experience of getting past suicidal depression. If you keep going it can get better, but if you quit it never gets better.

I hope you will find the strength you need to carry on.

I send this to you with kind thoughts and wishes for great
Good luck,

Ikari Gendo

I have been there so many times, but something always stopped me from trying. Well, except the one time, but the curtain rod broke. Anyway, the point is that people always say that things will get better, which is pointless because if we could see any real substance beyond that statement then we wouldn't be in that spot to begin with. But now, looking back at when I was an abused 20-year-old living at home because I didn't know any other option it's a wonder I didn't finally manage to do it right. But 10 years later, I am married to a wonderful man, have a beautiful young son, a brilliant teenage stepson, and a real future for the first time. My point is that there really is some truth behind that insensitive, throwaway comment. We can't see the ways that things will get better, or we wouldn't be depressed in the first place. But nothing ever stays the same. Everything changes. And really, you miss a lot of cool stuff if you leave the game early...

The last time I thought as you did was about a year ago. It lasted a few days of wondering how I could do it. But then it went away. Since that time I have started a new writing project, created some new characters that I adore and am getting closer to completing a new novel. I also built a web site.

In between my down periods I seem to work hard and achieve a lot, so I keep telling myself whenever I am down that if I end it I will be preventing myself from creating something new and enjoyable in future.

It seems to work for me.

I've tried it, several times. Obviously it didn't work. I'm glad it didn't now, even though everythings not perfect. I'm on antidepressants and they do help. It took going through several different ones to find the ones that do work, but it was worth it. I would so recommend that you go to the dr and try antidepressants. Try it and then once they start working, reassess your situation. That's what I have to do from time to time.

Now, about suicide. Hanging is pretty difficult to get right and you can end up with brain damage instead plus it really hurts. One of the kids friends tried that and was hanging there for quite a few minutes before his dad found him and cut him down. He has a horrible scar. He was in ICU for a while then in the psych unit for a long time. He talks about it. He said it's the worst feeling he's ever felt. It felt like his neck was on fire and he was frantic trying to get air, he regretted it while he was hanging there more than he's ever regretted anything, etc. Drugs are also hard to get right. That's how I tried it. Why risk brain damage or something?

Seriously, before you try suicide, exhaust all your other options. Try antidepressants, therapy, etc. I mean really give it a try before you throw in the towel and check out completely. If it doesn't work you haven't lost anything. One more thing that I know is that if you are dead there is no chance whatsoever that things can get better or you can feel better. If you are alive, there is a chance, no matter how small, that they can. Another thing is, no matter what you do or don't believe about the afterlife, nobody knows for sure what happens. There could be nothing or any of the religions out there could be right or something that nobody ever thought of could be. It could be worse than this. I'd err on the side of caution if I were you. Even reincarnation might not be good, suicide might be punished by coming back in a worse situation than you are in now. Nobody really knows.

I'd seriously give other things a try first. You can always kill yourself tomorrow, it doesn't have to be done today. That's my motto for now anyway.

You could live for me as my minion as long as you don't complain about it or have crippling self esteem issues around me. I have plenty of stuff that needs to be done. errands. petty phone calls and paperwork I can't bring myself to do. i could use a cook, a cab driver. an exercise partner. someone to play board games with. or you could just come and sit next to me and we could both be depressed together until dinner time when we have to accept that we're hungry and bored. its the little things that count. there arent any big decisive solutions to our suffering. we just need to enjoy little things together. that's what i say, laying here on my floor staring at the ceiling while feeling all cold and inaccessible after recording some philosophical self-talk on how suicide is just a concept and not something you can actually do and how understanding that makes me immune to doing it which makes me one of the most valuable people alive because I'll do anything without fear of death as long is it makes sense to me.

How are you feeling today, Winner? I really hope things have improved, or atleast not gotten worse.

I feel better today but a lot of bad stuff is still happening. That Blackbird song is nice and reminded me how great the Beatles are. I downloaded two new songs to listen to all day on my mp3 player this morning: Walk of Life by the Dire Straits and Feelin' Alright by Traffic. These old, easygoing songs help me to forgot my broken heart and despair.

I'm sorry to hear that bad things are still going on in your life, but, as they say, 'things don't always happen overnight'. Really glad you are feeling a bit better today, anyway. I might not understand exactly how you feel, because everyone is different, but I am/have been suicidal, and, for me anyway, while things aren't good, sometimes i'm in a more desperate state of mind than others, feeling more tired and unable to carry on, but this tends to ease up after a while.
It's great that you put those songs on your mp3 player, and that they seem to be helping. Well done.
Remember to try to talk to someone about your troubles, if you'd like to. Even posting/PM-ing more on Wrongplanet.
Stay strong.

I don't know what to do.

If fun music helps lighten your mood, might I suggest "Pop Goes the World" and "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats. Watch the music video for Safety Dance, and then watch the literal video for it.

This won't help anything long term, but it might put a smile on your face for a few minutes.

Good luck and stay strong.

I think you need better psychiatrist. Otherwise you are some kind of troll that needs to be investigated.

This is something this user said in a pm to me:

So just because I have an opinion you don't have I need to see a psychiatrist? Do you realise how ridiculous that sounds?