Shoplifting? Lovely, more crap to deal with

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My youngest daughter got busted for shoplifting a thing of eyeshadow at the drugstore tonight. I am not happy. At all. It's a long story and when the cop came out (he's kin to the boy who lives with us and also to the boy who owned the liquor store who my oldest daughter sometimes babysits for - small towns) as we were waiting in the car for my mother to get her meds and come out, he came to the window and told me. She gave him the eyeshadow, and I was furious about this but I needed to handle the situation before I yelled at her. I went in the drugstore and this assistant manager in there was the one that I can't stand. She can't stand me either.

She dislikes the fact that I'm friends with the actual manager and he will haggle with me over the price of some things and come down on them. She has disliked me ever since I told her to put an item back there on his desk, like he told me to do, so he could set a price on it for me and she didn't want to do it and he told her she should have done that. That's a petty reason but oh well. Anyway, she's one of those types of people who tell on everybody else in high school, they never do anything they aren't supposed to do, and they think they are so much better than everybody else because of it and walk around with their little noses in the air all the time. I'm not the only one who says that about her. Quite a few people dislike her.

Anyway, I went in and told her and the cashier how sorry I was and she told me that she had seen my daughter do this before. I asked why she didn't tell me and she said it wasn't her place. I told her it damn sure was her place since my daughter is a minor that lives with me and I need to know what she's doing so I can put a stop to it. She said "No it's not. I press charges!" It wasn't that she presses charges (or rather she has the actual manager press them) it's how she said it. With that nose up in the air, cold tone of voice, etc, when I'm in there tryng to be nice. I said ok and was talking to the cop about what we do next, etc and she said again "I press charges on shoplifting!" and she said shoplifting like she was saying necrophilia. I was fed up with her superior tone and was trying to figure out how to deal with the cop and legal stuff and then get home and talk to my daughter and find out why she would do something like this and figure out a punishment, and that stupid assistant manager, who looks and acts like her butthole is held closed with a drawstring and somebodys tied it way too tight, kept on with her condescending crap to me when I didn't do s**t, and I finally said "OK, you press charges. I get that. I also get that pressing charges against a teenage girl over shoplifting a $3 thing of eye shadow in the drug store of a backwoods, redneck, hick town is the full extent of your power for the career choice you made and you are proud of it. I'm sorry that's all you got in life but that's not my fault and I'm trying to get this thing taken care of and you channeling Alexander Haig isn't doing anybody any good." Then I proceeded to talk to Mr Claude some more about this whole thing and what all we needed to do and some way or other my feelings about the "No Child Left Behind" act was brought up and we ended up arguing and he threatened to tell the judge that I disagree with a state law, and I informed him that the judge, being on my facebook - like Mr Claude himself (who just yesterday liked a page I made about how this local mechanic rips people off and why you shouldn't use him) knows my feelings about this because this time last year I was posting about that a lot and even created a group for it which I invited the judge to but he couldn't join it because he's a judge in those cases.

So, I don't have a license because of something that happened 26 years ago that was not my fault that I refused to pay the fine for and my license was suspended and I waited 26 years for it to drop off which it finally did and all I need to do now is send Montgomery the reinstatement fee and then go retake the test but I just haven't had the time when I had the money or the money when I had the time. It's not like I'm a bad driver, he sees me around town all the time. He had asked to see my ID, for what reason I don't know, he knows who I am because he came up to the car and called both me and my daughter by name. Anyway, he decided to wind me up some by acting like he was going to arrest me or something for that when I only drove my mother up to the drug store to get her meds because she can't walk there! My husband said he wasn't doing nothing, he was tired from work, so I did it. He kept telling me one thing, then another and he did that thing that real redneck guys sometimes do where they get you mad on purpose then laugh at you and either won't tell you anything or tell you something made up then tell you it's not true, etc. I got fed up with that because if I want that I can hang out at the 24 hour gas station where all the rednecks are (where, oddly enough they sell ammo, alcohol, tobacco and fishing licenses). He wouldn't say whether or not he would give me a ticket or tell the other cop to or what, so I told my daughter and mother to wait with the van and I walked home.

He wouldn't even give me a ride to the house! I told him he's no gentleman and he told me he doesn't get paid to be one and I said I can certainly tell. Again, he laughed at me. I think that's the reaction he was going for. He's one of those kind of rednecks. So, I got to the house, got my husband and went back up there and we got the van. My daughter was hysterical because she felt so bad. I don't think any punishment they could give her would be worse than how she's punishing herself. I'm going to ask the judge to "sentence" her to some counseling at the mental health place. It's just with a social worker but that's better than nothing. She's been depressed lately and is on antidepressants. I don't see this as her trying to be defiant or delinquent or something, I see it as something she needs help for. It's certainly not a klepto type thing, I think she's got some issues going on and this is how they are manifesting. The judge is a nice boy and I think he will do that. She's a good kid, honor student, never been in trouble for anything she's done except hitting one girl back in 7th grade.

So, that was my evening. A fairly decent day turned to s**t in an instant.

I'll let you all know how it all comes out. This is one time I'm glad I live in a small town, where the judge actually takes an interest in the people who come through his court room.

You should move to like, Maine. Get the small town "do wtf ever you want" but without any people there. And it's cheap. But it's cold, too.

I dunno, good luck with all this.

I'd be happy if I could just go back to Birmingham! It's not a huge city like NY or anything, and it's not anywhere near as obnoxious as Atlanta, and it's not as interesting as NOLA, but it's just right for me. Hubby won't move back there. He hates it. Says its a cesspool of crime and gangs and he hates their mayor and JeffCo went bankrupt of something and there's some kinda problem with the water company there, etc. We don't have to live in the city, like downtown. Nobody does that if they can help it. Downtown is mainly projects, apartments that are just a step above projects, shotgun shacks, and high crime and gang areas. Forest Park was not an unsafe area and the worst that happened to us was we had a couple bicycles stolen when left in the front yard.

Downtown has changed a lot. They knocked down the old projects and built "multi-income housing". There's evensome stuff to do at night down there now. People have been buying the old office buildings and converting them to lofts. Forest Park/Avondale/Crestwood is getting expensive--except for that one bit of Avondale across the street from the park. But Jefferson County is so bankrupt that they had to close a lot of the satellite courthouses, reduce services at others, etc.. If you want to register a new vehicle or for some reason have to renew your car tag in person, allot an entire day to stand in line. I found a water bill from 10 years ago at my mom's house and it was $20.00. Our water bill now easily tops $100 every month. Of course, there are 3 of us now instead of just one, but come on!! ! I think you should look at northeast Shelby County or St. Clair County--Leeds/Moody/Vandiver area. It's country enough, without the severe isolation. If you do manage to come back you better look me up, though.

Oh I won't move back. There's no way. The house was a gift and will be paid completely off when my MIL dies (why she financed it I have no clue) but all we will be responsible for is taxes and insurance and utility bills and repairs. As much as I hate this godawful backwoods hellhole, I cannot walk away from a four bedroom three bath house on a large lot. Not when it will be free and clear. The thing is too, I've gotten used to it down here. I'd probably miss the quiet and the almost complete lack of crime and either knowing or having a good idea who each person I see is. I'm terrified that I've been sucked into the void. The city mouse has gotten used to it and is not becoming the country mouse. You hear how I sound typing, I sound just like that when I talk now. I did not sound like this when I moved here. I didn't sound like the "old money" types but I sounded more like a mix of the Hoover/Vestavia Hills set mixed in with the Southside dwellers but not the fountain rats. My accent has actually gotten so much thicker. I've got about 150 mins on my phone now. I got a new card today. Give me a holler tomorrow evening or something if you want. It's my birthday and all so I've decided that I'm not doing one single thing other than making spring salad for me and my mother and older daughter (we are the only ones who will eat it - see the product placement thread in PPR to get a description of it) and my mother is thawing and going to cook some NY strips I bought. She cooks them in butter, pan fries them. MMMMMMM!

I've actually gotten settled and part of me hates it and calls the settled laid back part a traitor lol. We can still get together though, it's really not far. Ive got a friend who has relatives in Bham who she goes to see and I could ride with her and me and you could hook up and go hang and then meet her back for the ride back. I can't see to drive at night for love nor money, so riding with her would work great.

If nothing else, you must come to Pandamonium (sic) this summer. You know, if I start planning far enough in advance I bet I could talk MC into some live music. I've got a big back yard, I could invite the neighbors even the ones I dislike but get along with. I could deal with them as long as they dressed appropriately, which is like a panda. I have such grand ideas for it too. Everything black and white. It will be the redneck answer to Truman Capote's black and white ball. Without the chicken hash though, I might could grill us up some bbq chicken though.

I'm sorry to hear this, OliveOilMom.

Well, here's an update. I spoke with the actual store manager yesterday. I wasn't going up there to ask that they not press charges, because she has to have consequences for her actions and it's a misdemeanor and she's underage, etc. My thing that I was ticked about was that the asst manager had said she had seen DD stealing a few nights before when she was in there with me and she didn't say anything about it. In my opinion that was the absolute worst thing to do. If she sees a minor doing something wrong like that and the parent is right there, she needs to tell the parent. I told the manager that I'm furious over that because if I had known about it then I would have put a stop to it. He agreed with me completely.

He also said that she's a little big for her britches lately and he doesn't press charges on minors for shoplifting or even most adults. He just makes them put it back and not come in there for a few months. He's got kids of his own and he's a big biker with a shaved head so he's a little intimidating when he wants to be. He said kids will do that and it's just something that most end up trying because they aren't supposed to. Most don't make a habit of it. He said that he hadn't seen anything on it but he would look and if she had pressed charges he will drop them.

Mr Claude, the cop, said that he was off the next day but had a dr's appointment and had to come to the drug store to pick up his medicine so he would just fill out a report then, instead of right then at the time it happened. I think he didn't want to prosecute her either and I seriously doubt he filled out or turned in a report on it. I need to ask him about it but I don't want to put him on the spot. At the moment we are just posting to each other about gun control anyway, and we are on the same side about it so it's just preaching to the choir there. I don't really think he went back at all and I know the boy who worked the next day and all weekend and he would have come by the house and said something if she had called them back to come fill out a report. He knows all my kids and has done some work on my older daughters car and is just real nice.

In the old says, posting about gun control is the south would usually be "from my cold dead hands" but so much has changed now.

I applaud you for wanting consequences, but criminal justice in America just teaches criminals how to be better criminals. The lucky ones change their lives, but I was looking at a paper that like 70% of violent criminals in MD have prior records.

Nothing says you can't have your own punishments though. Your own very, unpleasant, punishment