Accused of being rude today

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Today I had to go pick up some papers from school and I went to the history department office to see if they were there. The lady at the office told me to go to the essay drop-off office, which I did, only for them to tell me they didn't have my essay. I went back to the history office, but this time the lady there was in a conversation with some other people who were about the office. I stood by the door quietly for a few seconds until they all looked at me and then I asked her if she was sure the essays weren't there, and she said "well, first of all you have to excuse yourself because we were in a conversation..." It is this lady's job to service people that come by the office who need help and when I asked her if she was sure they didn't have them she said "I already told you I brought them down." I then told me that they said they didn't have them. I was very upset at this.

It doesn't sound to me like you were the rude one.

yeah you weren't rude. They all stopped the conversation and looked at you; you didn't interrupt them.

You weren't rude, you were subjected to indifferent people and bad service.

You weren't rude at all! it sounds like you were actually quite polite especially after being sent across campus on a wild goose chase. It sounds to me like you were thinking rationally, It's her job to find papers and you just wanted her to do her job.

I've been thinking about this all day ... and it is hard enough to approach people and situations like this will just make my anxiety about approaching people higher.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I've never liked asking help from people because of exactly this fear, that I'm angering or bothering someone who wishes I weren't there with a problem I could solve myself if I weren't so stupid. It's an irrational fear 99% of the time, but then something like your situation happens and it starts up all over again.

You did nothing wrong, she was a jerk. End of story.

Try not to let this bug you.

There are some rubbish people around I'm afraid, just because someone works on the help desk does not necessarily mean they want to help. They might be there because it's an easy job or they like some feeling of power and control over others.

So If someone tries to make your life more difficult than it needs to be, stay calm and be persistent, get what you need and move on. There are other ways to spend your time, more useful and enjoyable, than worrying about people like this.

I had his exact experience years ago as a student, History department, crusty secretaries and everything. This wasn't at Stony Brook University by any chance, was it?

Nope; I don't live in USA.

Just wondering, did she REALLY say she "brought them down" or did she just tell you where to go?

1) If she stated she brought them down [herself] and then you questioned her, I can see why she thought you were being rude. People don't generally like to admit they've made a mistake - especially within their job.

2) If she DIDN'T specifically say she had "brought them down [herself]" then this was an own error made by her own assumption.

Either way, you were questioning her course of action and she took offense. What would have been more "polite" is if you stated the basic facts:
"I went to the essay drop-off office and was told they couldn't find my essay. Do you know where else I can look?"
Your goal was to find your essay and you were needing the help of others in order to achieve this. Objectivity works best!

As far as you interrupting - although you hadn't interrupted verbally, your presence irritated her because she didn't know how to help you any further, which probably "interrupted" her train of thought she was having with her coworkers. That specifically, is her own fault. She's there to do a job.

I honestly can't remember is she said she brought them down or she were brought down. As far as what I should have said, what I did say was "are you sure they were brought down" and she got very annoyed at that. It ultimately was the fault of the essay hand back office; they had placed my paper in another course's stack of papers, and that is why they couldn't find it. It turns out my professor was teaching another class this term, and my paper was placed with the his second classes pile of essays. I think you are right she was annoyed that I was questioning her, and to be fair to her it wasn't her fault either.

I think that is why it's important to be as objective as possible because anything could have happened and you don't want to offend anyone with the assumption that THEY made the error.