HELP ME!! !! !

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Hi i am a male in my early twenties and i have aspergers syndrome and need help

Here's my situation i have no friends i feel so angry at the world and eveyrone around me whenver someone talks to me i just wanna put my hands over my ears cause i can't stand talking back its so tiring i hate my parents i hate everything i can't drive a car so well i live in an isolated area so i can't simply walk to where i want to go
i've noticed things as well all my old friends have all grown up and moved on they've got jobs drive cars have a social life got companionship if you know what i mean
and me i am still the same every day i have to get up and face it all again and i am tired of it and i know what your thinking first off let me explain i do not have a suicidal thought in me at all so don't worry about me doing something stupid and killing myself i wanna live so yea
anyway the thought of spending the rest of my life as an unemployed useless virgin who still lives with his parents is unsettling
i don't wanna die alone
i'm worried no one will love me
also i am not attractive not f**k ugly or overwieght a little fat lotta body hair over me and curly hair on my head also i am a tall person
and it seems like everyone tries to avoid me
i hate this
everyday i keep telling myself things will get better i am just worried i will be telling myself this in ten years
i wanna socialise i wanna be able to talk to people and enjoy it
i hate eveyrthing and everyone
it like feels any day now i could just snap and go crazy
i get so angry a lot now i don't why
my parents don't understand me and i don't want to talk to them about any of this cause i know there type they will just make fun of me
and i suspect they think less of me
actually i think my whole extended family think this whenever we visit i can tell the way they talk to me and look at me
i can see behind those smiles of theres they think i am some kind of ret*d
heres an example for my 18th my cousin got me some transformers action figures from the toy store were she works
see what i mean who the f**k would do that i was so angry at her but i didn't show it
whenever i walk down the street and see all these happy smileing people it makes me sick or maybe i'm jealous
they've got jobs lives friends things i want but don't have i hate them and i hate everything
so to anyone those on here please if you could please help me and don't give me any of that old "things will get better just hang in there" BS i have heard it all before
so please just help me.

You do seem to be quite self-aware. You can put a finger on the things that trouble you, so you seem to be a lot better of than if you were just "angry with everything". That is a good start.

One advice you will probably get is: exercise. It is good for our mood and it is good for your looks!

You are not talking about education but there are lots of distance-learning courses that you can take, in your own pace. Some of them are very good.

I was in your situation at about your age. I was depressed, living with a girl who increasingly didn't want me there, out of money, no job or prospects, few friends and no family I felt I could turn to. I ended up joining the army and, while I wouldn't say it was a good fit for me (frankly, it wasn't), it got me away from where I was, friends, money in my pocket and, for the first time in my life, a sense of purpose. Maybe it wouldn't be right for you, but it could be worth looking in to. They won't tell you this, but even in basic training you can still get out of it if you hate it. They'll try like hell to make you stay, but if you're set on leaving, they'll let you. PM me.

Sometimes I feel the same way. Almost *exactly* the same way.

It sometimes drives me to suicidal thoughts. I suggest ringing one of those counselling lines (in a rural area I guess you've got one on me -- there are plenty of open spaces where you can talk as loudly as you want, and no one will hear you except the anonnymous counsellor.

I strongly encourage exercise. It *works*, if you are consistent about it. Being a young male, you probably don't realise just how far you can run, how fast you can run, how much weight you can lift, etc etc etc, with practise. Start a bodybuilding regime (not necessarily one of those silly huge regimes), it kept me occupied for months, and now I look a little better than what I did (emanciated and skinny). Work on acting the part of an NT and practice it in the mirror -- ask a trusted family member, not like your shitheaded cousin, to give you honest feedback. I know it sounds superficial, but NTs are superficial. Jazz up your wardrobe and imitate the 'cool' NT kids in your area. NTs love clothes. I really, really don't mean to sound superficial, but just knowing that you look the part can make a huge difference to your self-confidence.

Your post reminds me of myself when I was towards the end of high school. I just couldn't take all the fake people and the backstabbing and then seeing people move on when I felt so stuck. For me it was two things: going away to school and finding a subculture to vent my anger in a completely healthy way.

I also agree with the others. Start exercising. It will help you to feel better by releasing those feel good chemicals. and if your mood improves you might start to see some possible solutions to improve your situation.

This doesn't sound like a situation where anyone can help you in a practical sense. Unless you have some specific questions, and are looking for suggestions or info, etc.

But just as a general observation I see you do have some goals. Have you thought about making plans to achieve those goals ? Your right, in that it probably isn't just going to happen by itself ('tommorrow it will be better', etc).

Exercise is good. I find martial arts to be a good way to get physical activity as it is structured, there are other people but no vague aimless socializing.

Do you have any interests you could do where other people are involved? Examples are I pla d&d sometimes and magic the gathering on Fridays. My roomie plays a regular pick up soccer game on Saturdays.