Past Aspergers...not quite NT

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hi,

lots of people on here talk about how they have eventually learned how to act like the 'NTs'. well, i have too. i'm still not great with eye contact and still almost completely blind to body language, but i've been told my voice tone is more varied, i have found other ways of noticing some subtly, i get along with people better... people can basically tell i'm 'a little different', but people only suggest autism when i fail, instead of all the time.
unfortunately, for me, this feels like it has come at a price. although i still talk obsessively about one topic at a time (i try not to!), i don't have one thing i'm particularly interested in these days. i feel empty. i feel like i still can't connect properly with the world around me, but i am no longer happy by myself because i have nothing to think about.
i still become anxious all the time, but i don't 'meltdown', i've learned to control it and it's making me depressed.
anyone else feel life would be easier if we could just all be ourselves? that it might be somehow easier if we could throw potatoes at the supermarket cashier and tell her she's scanning items in the wrong order...?

That doesn't sound like normality. That sounds like anhedonia.

^ Agreed

Also, a word of advice: One can think that they're more NT than Asperger's, but it usually doesn't seem to work that way. I thought I had "outgrown" my Asperger's as well, until it got me booted out of my student teaching. I don't believe in people with Asperger's EVER becoming COMPLETELY NT.

Sorry if I offended you, I just had to warn you before your dreams get crushed like mine did.