Keni wrote:
I shall wish you a Hippy Bathday because that too happens once a year
You might help someone with a smile or a cheerful remark, and brighten their day so they go on to find a cure for disease.
Funny my dad suggests much the same thing. I told him how I had once dreamed of being an Olympic athlete, and was ashamed I fell short. He advised that perhaps I could achieve things through others, by teaching or otherwise helping others.
But for some reason, wrong as it may seem, this notion feels abhorrent to me. I am loathe to think of being a stepping stone to someone else's achievement. I don't want to sit forgotten while others rise to heights from my aid.
I want to accomplish something for myself. Something really special and wonderful for the world to cherish, so I can at last justify why I exist at all. There is so much I've failed at or fallen short...making friends, finding a woman to love. I'm in many ways only half a person. But when I accomplish my dream, I'll be whole. People will see that for all my deficiencies, I had within me the capability to create great good. People will finally understand me, and perhaps even accept me.
And then, I will celebrate. Until then. to hell with birthdays. I hate getting attention that is undeserved. And what exactly did I do to deserve the attention I get on my birthday? Nothing, and therefore, I do not want it.