Should I leave my writers group?

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I like to write, and have joined a local writers group. It's a nice group, with friendly people of different level of achievement as writers.
The problem is, nearly every time I go to a meeting I come back feeling totally miserable because I've been so incredible useless. I never contribute anything to discussions. I want to, but I just fail to say what I want to say at the right moment. I think that I could just as well read online essays or articles and learn just as much about writing without being confronted with the fact that I'm a social failure.
There is also a kind of 'open day' coming up for the group, and I went to the meeting were it was organized. There were only three other people there. Tasks were being divided and there were things I could easily have done, but as usual I was not fast enough with saying that I'd do that, and nobody asked me to do anything either.
It's as if I am watching television - they are all interacting and I am only an onlooker.
The last three meetings I felt like crying halfway the meeting. I didn't, and I just stayed until the end. But I did cry when I was home.

I'm thinking that perhaps it would be better to stop going to this group. But I don't have any friends here, and I am not working at the moment so I'd only be speaking to my partner, son, and occasional shop assistants. There are no other writing groups in this area, but that would not be an option anyway, because it's not those people. This always happens to me in groups.

Could you take notes on other peoples writing, and then after the meeting write some comments on it. Then at the next meeting read them outloud or see if someone else is willing to ?

It seems they have already accepted that you have extreme difficulty speaking in public and I bet they would accept this half way solution to contributing quite well. Actually they would probably like it. If there is anything a writer wants, its feedback.

Maybe bring something to communicate via text?

If it helps you talk, why not? A laptop will do fine ;p

Oh, I didn't explain properly. I don't have problems with speaking, or even speaking in public in itself. I'm not shy. Only if I get really upset I sometimes stop talking all together, but that hasn't happened.

I just have a problem with discussions, where I have to listen fast and react fast. I am a very slow listener.

These are discussions that happen at the meeting. Sometimes it's about stuff that is only given out at the meeting itself, so no preparation is possible.But even if we do get text in advance I do take notes and think what I want to say about it, I just fail to speak up at the correct moment. I just can't have group discussions. Every time I think about what I would have liked to say but didn't manage and I just feel like a complete idiot. And I think the other people probably start to think that I'm stupid too, otherwise they would've wanted me to do things for the open day, wouldn't they?
Writing it up wouldn't help at the meetings, because I'd still have to interject to get it across.
I could do things afterwards, but then everyone else has moved on already. Still, if it's comments on their writing they would probalby not mind getting it a bit later.

There is also an online forum for this group. Perhaps I should only be on that forum, so I can just post what I want to say. But then there is no point in me going to the meetings.

I guess the main problem is that I don't like to fail again and again. I'm way too old to still have this problem.

If you're participating in the online group, that makes up a bit for being quiet in the other one, maybe? For your own peace of mind, I mean, and also so people know that you do have things to say.

Being a social failure myself i have stopped trying to make friends.
And i end up as a big joke in social scenario
So i prefer avoiding it altogether

I understand that you want to have friends, social company etc
And this meetup group provides you some social company

So you could just go about attend it and listen to conversation
and come back home without expectations.

Namaste, I often feel that I want to stop trying to make friends. I have some friends, from when I was younger, but they live far away, and since I have stopped full time education I have not made any new friends really. Lots of acquaintances and facebook friends but nobody with who I do things in real life. Fortunately I have a partner, so it isn't a big problem.
I'm not sure if I really want friends. Some times I do other times not.
But I do want to talk about writing and get comments about that etc.

I have now posted more things in the online forum. Perhaps I will just focus on that.

Well, I have trouble with group conversations and wonder if I have some kind of auditory processing disorder. I can pass a basic hearing test, but have a hard time following multiple conversations at a table.

Your situation reminds me of a small discussion group I participate in at a local book store. They talk about politics, religion, or current events. If it's a small group I can usually manage to participate.

There are times when I don't say much because I don't feel informed enough on the issue being discussed. So I just listen. I have also taken to bringing my Laptop so that if I'm not talking at least I look like I'm doing something. That's what I would consider doing in your situation. I know it's not making you more conversational to be at a meeting with your face in the computer, but maybe it could take some pressure off.