Scared I'm going to break the house in a temper
When I'm having a meltdown, I kick things to calm myself down. Usually just one kick, the nearest thing to me. But there are several things broken; my bedroom door has two or three big dents in it, and the drawer is kicked in under my bed so now it's difficult to open them. Lucky I don't often bring friends to my house, but it will be embarrassing if I do one day, and also a boyfriend.
Also I like to stamp my feet and slam doors. The back door of our house has a big crack in the window from being slammed hard, and this was years ago when I was a child, and we still haven't got round to replacing the glass for some reason. And the other day when I was in a temper, I was in the bathroom and stamped my foot really hard on the floor, and I heard a funny sound as though there was a pipe underneath the floorboard where I stamped on. After that I was worried that it might burst and cause a flood or a fire, but I didn't tell anyone else because they just think stamping and kicking things is pointless, which I do agree 100 percent.
Going outside and kicking a football wouldn't relieve any stress. For one we haven't got a big enough garden to do that in, and when I'm in a temper I will kick it hard and it will go into the neighbour's gardens and probably break something. Also I can't take myself off to a big field and do it because having a meltdown isn't like a game, it is high unintentional and unwanted, and happens on the spur of the moment. And I don't want to be seen by the public having a tantrum.
What do I do? I don't want any criticisms because we're all Aspies here and so most of us have meltdowns in different ways, and mine just happen to consist of anger that makes me want to kick or slam things to release it a bit. But if I damage something seriously, I will get into massive trouble and be shamed and frowned upon for it.
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neilson_wheels
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<- already broke the house.
I was advised to get a punching bag by a teacher when I was in elementary school. It helped a bit to relieve stress, but as meltdowns aren't that controlled it might not always help in the moment. Get one anyway. Try to avoid whatever is triggering them and find ways to reduce stress before they happen.
If you kept a heavy punching bag on the floor in your room you could kick it and stomp on it. You could also get the kind that are full of air with a heavy base (cheaper, but impossible to lie flat -- not as good for stomping, but probably fine for kicking).
If you can't afford a punching bag, could you try something like tying a bunch of pillows together and stomping on/kicking that?
I think that the best solution is to try to have things around the house that you can do your best to direct any physical aggression towards -- things that are either hard to break, or don't matter if they break.
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"Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving." -- Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky
Love transcends all.
I don't really have advice, but somehow this thread made me realize that I've had numerous meltdowns in my life that I never identified as such (because I wasn't diagnosed and didn't know about meltdowns). I'm suddenly remembering so many of them ... and yes, it's always embarrassing afterwards.
In my life, I've broken at least two doors, two pieces of furniture, a keyboard and put dents in various other things. I doubt that I would've been able to look for a punching bag in those situations, but it may be different for you because you know why it is happening and that it might happen again.
I think this:
would be the best option - maybe you can learn to recognize the early signals and develop a routine that allows you to withdraw from the situation before it escalates.
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What goes on inside is just too fast and huge and all interconnected for words to do more than barely sketch the outlines of at most one tiny little part of it at any given instant. - D.F.W.
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