Elitist Rant About Egocentrism

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Now, I will make my disclaimer first so that no misunderstandings arise from not knowing what kind of person I really am.

In moments of weakness, most commonly brought upon by "sentiment", human beings can become cruel, egocentric, and misanthropic. Typically, these negative tendencies, which could be clumped under the broad heading of "elitism", are fleeting. They are the darker bits that all human have buried deep within themselves bubbling to the surface. In my experience, I feel that sometimes it is more beneficial to just get these thoughts and feelings out in the open instead of attempting to recapture them in the tiny, glass bottle they were originally being sealed in.

With this in mind, I hope you will understand that due to a rather unpleasant interaction with an old "friend". I feel the need to get some things out. This is mostly for venting and commiserating purposes. Please do not take offense at my words. We all have our ugly moments, right?

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Sometimes I feel like I'm the only creature in the universe with a modicum of intelligence and self-awareness.

What I mean by this is the fact that anyone with a slightly elevated IQ and above average powers of observation considers himself God amongst ants. I can understand from a Psychology standpoint how such unbearable egos could arise in someone who has a high aptitude for being clever and one-upping his fellow classmate, but what I simply cannot conceive of is how someone with a truly supreme intellect can be so incredibly idiotic.

Yes, we all fall prey to hubris and vanity from time to time, but it is that very ability to recognize our own traits and talents that should be alerting us to the irrationality and imbecility of ego. Any mistake any particularly bright person has made usually comes as a result of getting carried away as a result of showing off or taking too much pride in oneself.

Any strides forward we make in our journey for self-discovery are thwarted by the leaps and bounds we take backward after having been caught in the fierce winds of confirmation bias and selective perception. Whatever progress we make is entirely undone by the very fact that we cannot accept that we are not who we want to be or where we want to be.

I'm getting to the point where I can barely stand to interact with anyone anymore. I long for cognitive stimulation brought about by riveting, challenging, and intriguing conversation, but there is no one who captures my attention long enough now. The second an ""intellectual" or "philosopher" or "psychologist" starts prattling on about their accomplishments or how very wonderful they are at this or that, I lose total and complete interest. They could have the highest IQ in the world, they could have the information and knowledge that any living person has memorized, they could be the world's best conversationalist, but if they don't realize when they are exhibiting symptoms of narcissism, I'm sorry, but I'm out. Out and running far, far away.

Now, of COURSE, I'm no better, but at least I'm aware of it. At least I'm conscious of when I sound like a total elitist prat, and I'm working on it. I think it's not so hard to realize that no one really wants to hear you brag. Besides, it's always far more impressive to be shown rather than told. SHOW me you're clever, don't tell me.

All I ask for is to meet one, just ONE person with whom I can have witty discourse in which the one is always trying to engage the other, not bore them. A meaningful back and forth can be so fulfilling and not at all too much work. If conversation were a game, it would be tennis, not basketball, soccer, or football. In tennis, we're always trying to send the ball back to the other player's court, not hog it for ourselves.

I continue to lament the state of things and will continue hoping I can meet someone who has similar views as I do on the matter.

I hear you. I get fed up with people who use buzzwords like "logic" in order to win an argument/put you down, even if they aren't being logical. I also get fed up with people who praise intellect itself so much, as if being stupid/ignorant is a awful thing to do or be, and that it's something to be ashamed of. Not knowing about something isn't necessarily somebodys' fault, and half the time I see absolutely no need to put that person down for it.

I think competition for "intellect" or knowledge is the new way of punching someone to up your ranks.

Politics for instance. To me, politics is just a massive b!tch fest. And somehow, if you don't know about politics, it makes you a stupid (i.e. bad) person. I'm not remotely interested in politics, so why should I bother to find out? How is b!tching about how bad everything is, going to help *anybody*? How many people who b!tch about politics actively protest or actually DO something about what upsets them? All that ever happens in an argument about politics, is that people rant at each other, but stay-put with exactly the same views they had before.

You should talk to me! I'm very smart and I never brag!

Hey - wait, where are you going???

On a more serious note, it sounds like the people you're talking to might be academics. They might just be used to having to inflate their accomplishments to stand out (win research grants, third-party investors ...). They might also feel the need to prove themselves to you, if they think you're smart. So it's possible they don't exhibit hubris but bad self-esteem (but I might also be completely wrong about that in this case).

As a sort of counterpoint, I'd like to field a defense in favor of Egocentrism.

There are times when I feel like a narcissistic Nietzsche wannabe. This past year in particular, I experienced an Übermensch caliber awakening upon finally receiving my Autism diagnosis. More than anything, it stirred up a bit of an existential crisis and rocked my perception of the world. It gave me a sense of self awareness that wasn't there before and consequently an awareness of the nature of others.

Self-awareness sucks and it's hard not to slip into a nihilistic world view as a result. What I have discovered is that the human race is essentially a cesspool of awfulness that perpetuates the worst kind of suffering and pain. True satisfaction is an illusion. Human beings by their nature are conditioned to not be satisfied with anything and consequently this fuels inequality, war, famine and most of the rest of society’s ills. Enlightenment can come from realizing this and finding a way to accept it.

For example, I'm not really a narcissist but I definitely have some of those tendencies. However what I'm realizing more and more is that everyone has those tendencies to an extent. Egocentrism is a basic human trait regardless of intelligence or talent. Our world is a result of how we perceive it and that perception creates our world for us. As individuals we have very little actual control but we have complete domination of how we perceive and react to the world. In essence........this makes us the gods of our own individual worlds.

I spent nearly my entire life feeling completely and utterly alone, not able to forge and maintain basic human connections with people. I've had pretty much all the common Aspie labels applied to me in the past and I have had more than my fair share of falling outs with so-called "friends" which resulted in very low self-esteem. The truth is that most people aren't really compatible with me. I'm awkward, snarky, quiet and painfully shy. However, operating under my new (and very egocentric) world view, I was able to start working through some of my issues and forge some connections.

Who cares if someone thinks I'm weird, creepy or ret*d? They don't fit into "my world" and aren't worth wasting my time or energy on. I'm simply better than they are. Is that egocentric and elitist? Absolutely, but everyone does it whether they are aware or not. You would think that such an attitude would be isolating but it's actually been the opposite. Being aware of this has actually made me very understanding and forgiving of others. It's hard to take things personally or stand in judgement over someone when they simply aren't compatible with your reality. It has also made finding those few elite, awesome people that are worth my time and energy quite a lot easier.

My advice to you would to embrace your egocentrism and allow yourself to be the divine steward of your world. I'm not saying you should constantly brag or declare yourself a god because if one truly feels secure in themselves they wouldn't feel the need to. Being aware and in control of your own perception and embracing it will better allow you to find others who see the world the way you do and weed out those who don't.

The elitist annoying people you mention who seem so full of themselves, brag about thier accomplishments and are so concerned with impressing others do this because they are concerned about their standing in society (a place where they are like ants and exhert little real influence.) Ironically enough, the truly egocentric can move beyond such petty concerns. You just need to understand how much power you weild first..........

Sounds like you are in hyperfocused / hypervigilant mode, and I can relate to where you are coming from. You could probably find many similar minded people to converse with on this forum.

I guess some fall into the trap of thinking if they are very knowledgable about one thing, they must be so in another, or everything. I don't believe thats actually how intellect works. Another obstacle is that the 'self' is in many in a very dominant position. It is natural to place the self in a prime position under the necessity of basic instinctive self preservation, but then how far do you take that ? I think to some extent its circumstancial. If we were in cave people days dominating might be a successful strategy in making sure your genes progressed. But lots has changed since and even then if would not make you necessarily popular. Some cave people were probably fragged ( a club tossed in their cave in the middle of the night) because they were too over bearing.

I am speaking off the top of my head here, but it would seem that what you describe as desireable in conversation (and I have a similiar perspective) is composed of perhaps 2 different mental skills and one attitude about realitive value. One skill being knowledgable about conversational subjects, two being socially aware enough to monitor the interplay (and even sharing - listening as well as speaking) of conversation, and the attitude being that one values the others opinions (and probably feelings to at least some degree) as at least equal to your own.