I cant stand being alone in my room, it makes me freak out and want to either smoke stuff, drink booze, cut myself or kill myself. I hate my family they make me feel lonely and miserable yet they do nothing. I need to see my friends or I will die. When my friends leave me sometimes I think they can't care and they can't stand me but they are being nice for the sake of it. I have no control of my emotions. Sometimes, I am happy sometimes, angry sometimes sad, sometimes I feel hopeless like now. I don't know what or who I am anymore.I am drifting away like I'm nothing. I am forgetful and I can't remember my childhood. I want to be normal not the aspire freak I am now. My friends say I have BPD but thats not true I have been to three different psychiatrists and they said I only have aaspergers. I want to be normal and not just aspergers or BPD or both because deep down I am normal adult with neither I believe.
25 May 2013, 5:29 am
