I never thought I'd say that. The hours were miserable at my old job, but at least I had work, and the other side of my quirkiness - my creativity - was appreciated. I lost that job in January because they ran out of things for me to do. I'd previously helped in designing my old organization's main strategy for getting cooperation from Congress. But with that out of the way, they found most of my other duties largely handleable by interns. However, they have been very helpful while I've been on the job hunt. I'm not mad at them. But I'm frustrated. I hate the job hunt, which seems like it was intentionally designed to keep out people on the spectrum. If I find a position anywhere that I'd be good at, one of two things holds me back. Either my lack of a Masters degree, or my quirkiness. I'm not actually unfriendly with people, but I'm just not always on the same page. I talk about dogs a lot - I find that's the one of my interests that a decent proportion of the population share, but not necessarily people in the office. I try to ask people about themselves in order to engage them in friendly conversation, and I get stared at. But I'm just trying to follow the advice that the stupid interpersonal relationships books keep telling me to do!
As for my Masters, I want it so stinking badly, but I'm terrified of the debt associated with it. It's ironic. I'm one of the few relatively younger people interested in grad school who actually KNOWS WHAT THE HELL SHE WANTS TO DO WITH HER GRAD DEGREE (work in a think tank on education policy [They won't accept anyone without one]), and the stinking debt keeps me scared away. In the meantime, a bunch of other people with no idea what they want to do with their grad degrees pile into the market, jacking up the price and the debt involved.
I know, I know, I sound horribly self-pitying. I'm probably being really self-pitying right now. But I just needed to vent quickly.
27 May 2013, 9:33 pm
