My name is Kaitlyn Mai Balesdent,
I have a feeling I will be called a liar and an attention whore for posting this here, as that is usually the case no matter who I tell. I will warn you now, this is tramatizing.
I am fifteen years old. I was put in the hospital by my school when I was twelve. I am in a regular public school. They sent me to Foothills Hospital in Calgary, saying it would only be for two weeks.
I have Aspergers, OCD, Tourrettes, ADHD, Insomnia, Parasomnia, Severe Anxiety Disorder, Chronic Depression, Chronic Pain, and sensetivity disorders to light, sound, smell and touch.
I was twelve. I had low self esteem, I was cutting, but I was getting better thanks to my loving boyfriend. I still had tantrums at times, but that can't really be helped. Lots of noise, crowds and flashing lights set me off.
I was sent to the psych ward for 'two weeks', just to have my medication straightened out.
In response to my Aspergers and mood swings, they put me on a blood thinner. Not an approved treatment, The dose was so high they damn near killed me. I was always locked in High Observation, only allowed out once every few days. I was restricted from being around people, having books, even having paper to draw on. *If* they gave me a meal, I was only allowed a spoon. Plastic. Spoon. Amazingly effective for eating salisbury steak! /Sarcasm Then they'd call me a slob if I ate with my hands. They weren't giving me much of a damned choice.
They restricted my phone calls. Wasn't even allowed to call my mum. They would force sedatives on me if I so much as started crying. They threatened to call the cops on my boyfriend because of a perfectly legal age gap. They threatened to have my mum thrown in jail over the state of my bedroom.(It's a bit of a mess, but I clean it once every week. It's hard to clean it when I'm not home, and the family borrows my stuff sometimes.) They lied on my paperwork. I stated that if someone annoyed me I'd get the urge to hit them but I have good control. They wrote down "Likely to injure others if annoyed. Psycopathic behaviour." Not those exact words but pretty damn close. If I could find my certificate I'd scan it and prove it.
They restricted what I was allowed to wear if they didn't like the colors or the way it fit-I usually wear mens clothing because it's comfortable but they said that's "Extremely innapropriate" for a girl my age-, they called me a liar, forced me on diets, and called me a fat ass. If I was in tears because of pain, they'd force me to move around more and restrict any pain meds becaause apparently I'm 'lying to get high'. I have NEVER abused drugs, legal or otherwise!
They destroyed my personal property, including one of my sketchbooks. They gave my $30 electric toothbrush to another patient because "If it's on site it's free game". I had it TUCKED AWAY IN MY CLOSET.
Then, the real kicker came. This still haunts me to this day, I still have nightmares about it.
One of the male nurses forced me to strip down for an unwarranted "Full check". There was no female or guard in the room. This is illegal. I had done nothing to require a full check, and the reason he gave me was total BS. In that he didn't give me any reason. He had this unnerving look on his face. I refused to take my sports bra and my panties off. He threatened to call security in and give me another sedative. Not wanting that-I get blistering rashes at the injection site-, I stripped down. He looked me over, just kind of stared, then said I could get dressed. But I had to wear hospital clothes. Which always fall off and come lose on me. This nurse had previously been physically abusive, but never like this, and frankly, I can handle getting slapped around a bit.
I called Alberta Health Association judges. They came in a few days later. Reviewed my case. Listened to what I said. Nurse said I could have been hiding weapons. Complete BS, I was never allowed off the ward and was always watched, where would I get a weapon!? I tried to defend myself. They laughed at me, called me a liar and an attention whore, and left.
The abuse continued for a few more weeks, with other nurses joining in verbally and psychologically. Finally, after two and a half months, I was allowed to leave.
I wasn't suicidal when I was admitted. When I left... Let's just say I'm very glad I have great friends..
It's been ages since I was there, and there has still been no justice. I still cry myself to sleep some nights. I still have to shower every day when before I never had to, just to get the filth of his eyes off me. I'm still haunted, and disgusted.
I have gotten better, but not by a whole lot. I have tried to get a job but everyone turns me away. My attendance in school is poor but my grades are higher than average. I'm still bullied. I'm still ignored. I'm still treated like dirt. Simply because I have autism.
Why is this justified.
Kaitlyn Balesdent
silverhowler@deviantart
25 May 2013, 6:30 pm
