My life completely sucks

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I can't go on any longer with all this s**t going on in my life.

My f*****g 18-year-old cousin is going on holiday next week with some mates and they're going to meet girls out there because that's the thing young NTs seem to do when they go away on holiday, and then he will come back telling us all about her, and then I will be the last single one left in the family.

I thought I had a boyfriend, now it turns out he is married because I just found out today when looking deeper into Facebook and saw some f*****g b***h with his same surname saying ''today is my third anniversary with [his full name]'' and lots of kisses. Now I feel so gutted and have gone back to feeling depressed and isolated again and hate all my cousins again for being social NTs. I was just fooled. Why do people love to play with my emotions like this? And then they say NTs have EMPATHY? f*****g BS!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I don't fit in that well at work, been there 7 months now and I've found not many people there like me, only a few. Some people there just strut past me when I greet them or try to make friendly small talk. But they speak to everybody else, although nobody notices that I get ignored. I suppose they won't, as long as they're liked, they don't really care about shy mugs like me.

Seeing all my cousins around me getting on well, and everyone at work getting pally with everyone else, I feel like a complete failure and a worthless piece of s**t. Well I suppose I AM a failure and a worthless piece of s**t. I don't even feel like going to work tomorrow, I just want to hide away in my bed and get myself lost in films and say ''f**k you'' to NT society. I'm sure they will miss me (sarcasm).

I either get glared at or ignored by people in public, even though I DON'T go out dressed weird and all of that, and I try to make eye contact and smile, etc etc etc and all the rest of the right moves. Nobody smiles to me even when I smile to them, they just look past me and look at other people I'm with and will smile and speak to them. But I suppose I'm the Aspie and they're precious innocent little NTs who always get the upper hand so I suppose the answer is the same s**t ''you are probably giving an odd facial expression when you think you are smiling'' and all of that f*****g BS Aspies get accused of, as though I'm f*****g made out to be some sort of social ret*d who doesn't know my arse from my elbow. f**k my life.

I am slapping myself in the face and threatening suicide in front of my mum, and it is worrying her, but I can't help it, I just feel so angry about everything and wondering why I was the one born with this c**t disorder (Asperger's Syndrome) and nobody else is. I so f*****g hate life, I really do. I will be a virgin and a spinster all my life, while watching all my cousins succeeding around me. I really suck.

Joe, since I have enjoyed reading your posts in the past, I regret that you are so unhappy right now. It is tough realizing that we have to hoe our own row, and can't be like the NT's.

As far as the fellow you thought was your boyfriend, I would imagine the sense of betrayal must really hurt. Under the circumstances, I'm just glad you didn't lose your virginity to this fellow or get more emotionally involved with him than you already are.

I think you would be well within your rights to contact his wife and let her know just what kind of creep she's married to. You would be doing a good thing since this creep would think twice before doing to another girl what he just did to you. If you do decide to do this, I would give it a couple of days so you can be more calm though.

I hope you hang in there. Things will get better.

I'm sorry you're having it rough. Your "bf" which i mean to be honest--good riddance, was no good to begin with.

Also as far as work goes, i've gone through similar things. But i've also acknowledged that our bad experiences and occassional social awkwardness can lead to us trying to mind read people.

Are you around when people were initially making friends? They may be too shy to approach you-- even I do it. Its much easier to talk to someone i've established a connection with then a complete stranger. The few people even if very few--who like you--may just be those who are more confident to approach you. Or those who relate to you--either way, even one person who does is better than none. If those other people really are jerks--too bad for them, why get to know them anyway?

Just maintain friendly relationships with the people who talk to you just a little and don't get sidelined. If you have a desire for attention or to speak up, do so.

Also, don't beat yourself up verbally--it is the worst thing you can do. I used to do that stuff daily because i thought it'd make me stronger--but its just attacking myself and I already had and still have people doing that. These aren't traits worth verbally attacking yourself for.

Anyway, I really hope things get better for you.

Really sorry. (I wish I could come up with something more comforting.)

I am slapping myself in the face and threatening suicide in front of my mum, and it is worrying her, but I can't help it, I just feel so angry about everything and wondering why I was the one born with this c**t disorder (Asperger's Syndrome) and nobody else is. I so f***ing hate life, I really do. I will be a virgin and a spinster all my life, while watching all my cousins succeeding around me. I really suck.

Empathy is just the ability to put yourself mentally in the shoes of the other person. It doesn’t necessarily mean being friendly to them; rather, empathy is also good for manipulating, and for figuring out what would make their life the most miserable when this goal is pursued.

Joe, there are quite a number of happily married peopleon WP as well as people in str8 or gay relationships. I am in a long distance relationship, and it is truer and more sincere than many an NT relationship. Don't give up on ever finding someone who genuinely likes you and wants to be with you. The unexpected does indeed happen sometimes!

I enjoy your "call a spade a spade" comments here on WP and hope you will recover from your unlucky experience with this married bulls**ter and be able to move on. But you must learn to love and accept yourself as special and beautiful. Being socially awkward does not exclude you from meeting someone genuine but don't rush into things.

I sometimes don't feel like going to work but I do anyway, though it's still dark being winter here, and though I know I could be doing better and earning a great deal more, as I feel it gives me a sense of purpose and that what I am doing, is something I am good at and can also benefit me in the future.

Thinking of you!

I'm just really annoyed because this man was the first ever man who has come along who I have fancied back and was comfortable to kiss. Otherwise it's always been men who are just weird or lonely and (don't mean this in a nasty way) but somebody who not many people would want to touch with a barge pole. Now I know this man who I liked is definitely unavailable, it's making me hate other men that do like me because I don't like them back. There's a single man who keeps on thinking I'm going to give in and date him, and he is definitely single because I've been to his flat before and I know he's got nothing to hide, but I really don't want to have a relationship with him because he is not my type. But it's just making me feel bitter because why can't the man I want be single and descent and texting and ringing me? Why is it always the other way around? Life is really not fair. At all.

I know a guy on WP who is in England, your age, and likes you if you want me to see if I can get in touch with him for you.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

Thanks anyway but I'm not too desperate, and I don't think I'll be around much longer because I just want to get out of this horrible life. I can't move out, but I really hate the sight of my brother but I've just got to live at home with the bastard for the rest of my life God I wish he would die, but then if he did die my parents will be angry at me because they will say ''you got your wish'' even if it wasn't me who killed him they will still be bitter towards me.

I wish my brother would f**k off then I would be so happy. I would be more sociable with my family and be more relaxed. He is really stupid because when I'm at work, my mum says he doesn't show his face, but when I'm there, he gets up earlier and comes down and sits there as though he is doing it on purpose. He's the type of person who pushes my buttons very easily, and knows which buttons to push, but hates the reactions. It's as though he's so dumb that he loves pissing me off but doesn't want me to get pissed off. f*****g c**t he is.

How old is your brother? Isn't there a chance that he will move out?
According to what you told before, your family doesn't seem too supportive in general. Don't let them pull you down.

You've been betrayed. I think it's normal that you're angry at yourself and everyone else now. Give it a week.

What does your brother do all day? Is he just an idle layabout? Don't let him ruin your life because then you are allowing others to determine your happiness instead of simply ignoring him. Can't you simply not speak to him if you really dislike him so much, and is there no way you can speak openly to him about what you hate about him? Or to your mom or another family member you like or trust?

It really won't do any harm to take up OliveOilMom's offer to contact this guy, because you never know what may lie around the next corner and deserve happiness. I am not suggesting you are desperate or need be overhasty when you haven't even met yet, but give it a go, even if you can just become friends and nothing more.

Stand up for what makes you happy and take it a step at a time. You're only 23, less than half my age, so there's plenty chance for you to stick around and to find contentment.

i used to feel like that with my sister.