Ugliness and feeling "subhuman"

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At the moment im a recovering addict. The freedom is liberating but im realising that I was attempting to self medicate away all feelings of inadequacy (despite a herculean effort on my part I was unsuccessful as expected).

I now have to deal with those issues and there is a cavernous void inside me which my addiction occupied. Perhaps im somewhat dysmorphic but ive come to pathologically idolise attractive people. I confer all sorts of positive attributes onto them and do the opposite for myself. I feel subhuman in comparison.

Ive resigned myself to romantic loneliness indefinately but day to day its crushing when I see attractive people out and about. Its a physical pang. Its not really jealousy its more that it reminds me that I believe myself to be part of an "untouchable" caste because of my looks.

How on earth do people afflicted with unattractiveness deal with those feelings

Being attractive is in the mind. That void was always there. Loosing triggers, and replacing old habits with something constructive is something you need to focus on. It can be as simple as breathing sometimes. Don't let all those showy narcissistic lookie lookers fool you. They are usually miserable. You just don't see it. They are not going to show you either. You're not a zombie.

What is considered beautiful fades. Personally, I think a lot of things are beautiful that aren't conventional. Too much worth is placed on supposed outward beauty, anyways. When you're elderly, most people will consider you ugly (I don't agree with that, but it's true). That's why finding someone's personality and/or characteristics beautiful is so important to me.

We've been brainwashed into only liking conventional beauty, and feel anxiety when we don't have it. I suggest you try to find other like minded people and form a group. There are plenty of us humans who feel worthless, and we all can help each other realize our own worth.

Try to avoid other addicts who feel worthless unless you know they will not try and get you self medicating again.