PARENTS DONT ACCEPT MY CONDITION.

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i know i have this "syndrome",all the aspects of it i have them,a little or a lot,there is someone autistic in my family too,son of my mother's mother's brother son...my mom's cousin,his kid has autism,far but i dont know if it counts.
i told my parents i had this syndrome but they havent heard of it,didnt bothered and thought i was talking nonsense and they didnt believe me,i just want them to accept this so they go easier on me,my dad is a narcissist and will never accept any truth which is not a banefit for himself and mom is just too busy trying to please my dad by agreeing with him because she doesnt want to be alone without a family.
ive been living a life of complains and i want them to understand a little more.


my question is,has someone been in this situation? and how did your parents(if they did) accepted u had this and then they changed in how they were threating you?

i appreciate any tips.

thanks a lot.

peace

I know its hard to tell anyone (and I do mean anyone) about AS, NTs just aren't willing to accept that there is a problem unless they see it. I have been having a hell of a time trying to tell my dad that I have AS, I just don't feel like he understands what it is, so don't feel bad. I don't know what to tell you to do, but know that you are not alone. If I can think of any advice, I will post it on WP later.

Last edited by animeboy on 08 Feb 2007, 1:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

.. You could say that because of the way that the world seems to work, if you put yourself in the same catagory of people with these lables then you you have a chance to join in with people that can relate to you. This is of saying that you "need something to have something". Another thing that you could do is to report anxiety, if there is any, that you might have in the certain situations that triggers it (like panic attacks etc). But they have to accept it without being critical of what it is. But if that is what you are asking for, anyway. You can claim that people fight with you because most are different than you - that they are average / not on the same levels as you.

I have a penpal whose mother is/has NPD and she was in a similar dilemma, I don't think she ever told them about it in the end, even when she got diagnosed. My own mother is not NPD but both my parents have some strange views on 'being different'. They both readily talk about stuff in my childhood like toe-walking and stimming, my preoccupations and how I was hyperlexic etc, but as soon as they see something as 'negative' they clam up and refuse to talk.

They don't seem to understand that I do not view myself as defective or inferior when I talk about difficulties I experience, to them they'd rather accept my quirks and gifts as part of 'being me' and shovel the rest under the carpet, which probably says a lot about their lack of tolerance towards differently abled individuals

Not much you can say. My family would laugh at me or say I was wrong if I mentioned
AS to them. And if they did understand it would not make much difference in my life.

I have, to a degree. My father was narcissistic, but it was my mum, though she was in a verbally abusive relationship with my dad, who ttok me to shrinks, and finally to Dr Tony Attwood, who diagnosed me with Asperger's. My dad didn't exactly understand Asperger's, he thought I was using it as a crutch, and only now that I and my mum have moved away from him, does he even think of making allowances to suck up my arse. My mum understands, mainly because she is an empathic person, but also because she has taken psychology degrees.

Certain types of people, usually "machismo" NT men or rednecks (especially these nazi-esque "old fashioned" rednecks that can't leave the 1950's back in the 1950's, those as*holes are the worst and I have no sympathy if they f*****g die because theyr f*****g commie and ignorant as hell), you wouldn't ever reach people like that because theyr too set in their ways. Theyr f*****g hyporctites too, they act like theyr way is so perfect but it's just a bunch of out-dated self-centered, stereotypically NT nonsense. It was people like them to persecuted "witches" at the stakes. Most people don't understand autism because they don't WANT to understand it, it's "different", plus is means that to understand it, they might have to think and study, which will hurt their small little brains. Most of the ones who do understand it are related to someone with it.

i get u snake,i know about how they refuse to learn new stuff because not only they are lazy thinkers and not to mention want people to do things for them, so that they learn will means they will have to treat u different and they treat u how the want not how they should.selfish people,wilfully slaves of their lies,it just makes me sick to my stomach.

also,i dont know if its related,ive read some stuff on that on the time of pregnancy the things a mother does has an effect on the kid too,my mom said she never watched more horror movies on her life than when she was pregnant of me,and im not scared of the dark and ghost stuff but i have a hard time communicating with people.fear of them knowing me.

thanks for the replies...i have thought buying a book on aspergers and maybe give it to my mom which she doesnt work and maybe her brain can click and tell my dad,Godwilling ill do somthing about it,im getting tired of "doing things on porpuse" like they say.if they knew what was on my heart but thats not the case.

peace

I have the same problem, except that my mom understands. My dad refuses to accept the I have AS because he sees it as an excuse for being lazy or forgetting things. He keeps asking me why I keep screwing up over the same things, forgetting to do things, not being a social person, why I stay locked up in my room....and the answers are all right there in a book or even on this website, yet he refuses to take the time and just EDUCATE himself.

Honestly, the best thing you can do is either have them sit down with a psychologist or to have them flip through the pages of a book describing AS. There's really nothing you can do to convince them otherwise. Just keep drilling it into their heads and maybe someday they'll understand.

Good luck.

I did.

But I was lucky my parents were willing to listen. I think it was out of concern for my life they acted upon it. I used to get scolded and yelled at for being what I was like.

You just gave me a idea, Animeboy.

Asper, have your parents take a good look on this article (link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspergers) then see how they react. I hope this helps If it dosn't work, then I can give you more links to show them. The more they see it, the more they'll begin to relise.

yeah wiki will do it,ill see if they got a spanish article on AS because they dont get english.
i never thought of that though,thanks for the idea

peace

Don't worry about finding a wiki article in spanish for AS. I went to the Google translator and had it translate the whole wiki article to spanish. Link: http://translate.google.com/translate?u ... uage_tools

Hope that works

Edit: Google Translations arn't very good. So I just went and found the real spanish wiki article for you: http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger

I know exactly how you feel. I am self-diagnosed, but I'd like to be prof. dxed sometime soon. I know there's something different about me by the way that people react to my speech/actions and I know there's more to life than just what I've been keeping a secret.

My parents refuse to see it; but this dx just seems right. They keep psuhing me away whenever I want to talk about it...but I know better...I know what's up and I know why it's up. NTs want everything related to them to be normal, but it's not going to be and that's life. People are pretty dumb...they are too selfish to try and help the person who needs them to listen the most.

I recently got accepted into a very prestigious college, but they said that if I was "sick in the head", I wasn't going and that was it. So i've dropped it (in front of them), but keep researching it on my own. The way I found out was through my intended major of special education. I saw a site on Asperger's and I was hugely interested. Then I started reading through it and realized that they were describing me to a tee.

An aspie working in sp.ed. Whether or not my parents/sister realize it, I don't care and will continue to live my life as an aspie with or without their consent/blessing.

thats nice to hear from u aspiegirl,hope you get their attention,but most likely youll need "professional" approval,a paper or something,they believe in strangers than family,thats how selfish they are,they do help the ones who listen to them more,ive seen that,but i do not see NTs as a different group,some do understand.....keep up with the colledge dont drop it because of them!! !
that happened to me too when u read about aspergers and saw how they were descriving you precisely,i felt fear,it was like "damn im mentallllllllll!! !" but later on i learned more about it,im ok now...

leporiade thanks dude,but i found wiki in spanish and i already sent it to my mom 3 days ago,i didnt tell her anything yet,we'll see if she even notices...

so
the best ways are: to get "professional" approval.
or get them to read a good description of aspergers.(less change of them accepting it)
and wait to see if they react...

peace

I have spent my life with a father who is of the opinion that everything is down to me...that I need to network, make my own way in the world, stop using excuses, find my independence, etc etc. My mother outright refused to even consider I might have AS which is even harder...she has a habit of being that way with anything that interests me, but that some might see as odd. She was always willing to listen to my brother's religious ideas, but not my spiritualism ones, for example. Needless to say, because my dad is at least slightly more open to the possiblity, he will be the one coming with me for my assessment under Baron Cohen, when a date comes through. It is not favourable, as he spent a lot less time with me as a child than my mother did, but still.

I can only suggest you find articles written by others with Aspergers and show them to your parents, or try to, which is what I have done with my father. Also, you could write a list of which of the listed traits you fit and why you believe you fit them...for example, if you stim, write it down, if you don't like eye contact, write it down etc.