My AS really shined last night

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Last night, I went to a 4th of July party with friends. I don't do well at parties, and they are never not awkward for me. But I forced myself to go because I'm a glutton for making myself be in awkward situations I should no better than to get into.

It wasn't really that bad at the party, I think.

I proved yet again, I can multi-task between using my laptop by myself away from people, interjecting a comment here or there into conversations(Have no idea if I was successful) around me as jokes, and watch Independance Day on the tv. Not really, but I tried, and it was stressful but I thought I had a handle on it. That was up until the end.

Before I left, six of us ended up playing What a Fiasco, and I attempted to participate, and it was nothing but awkwardness as I attempted to tell my part of the story. I feel like I need to accept this and never do this type of thing again.

Then trying to leave, I couldn't get anyones attention to say goodbye to except one friend, and if it wasn't for him, waiting for me to get across the room to the front door while yelling it out, then no one would have known I was leaving to say goodbye.

And on the way home, I got a speeding ticket from highway patrol. I pulled over. Where I pulled over wasn't good enough, so he made me drive up off the freeway onto the middle of an offramp where he had me stop. I don't know why. We were not any safer there than on the freeway, and probably he should have had me drive up off into the residential area. Then where I stopped wasn't good enough. He asked me to pull even further off the road onto the sidewalk area on the offramp. I asked a clarifying question to make sure I heard what I heard, because I didn't want to get in trouble or do something I wasn't supposed to, and he accused me of not having enough common sense, and we could get hit by a drunk driver using the offramp(Which is where he used his police authority to put me in the first place) and that in situations like that there wasn't time to think and to just do what he said, and I was so confused because I just wanted to know for sure what he said was what he said so I didn't f**k up. And at that point, I just gave up and did my best which apparently didn't get me shot or arrested so I guess it wasn't that bad although my anxiety was off the chart now.

I feel like I really messed myself up, getting in way over my head when it came to the social stuff, with the worst part being that it really is all my fault that I put myself there and my anxiety/stress is still high from it.

Do I detect humor in your report? Thank you for making me giggle a little bit, and I enjoyed all the details of this 4th of July tale. Though I can navigate most social situations, saying bye to a group/multiples of people in a loud environment such as a party or noisy dinner table at a restaurant gets me almost every time - I will go into a disembodied frame of mind in relation to the doorknob...if you know what I mean. Want to talk about fancy eye contact going highwire? I've learned the hard way that I don't want to risk trying anything fancy in this important of a public situation, so I usually just coolly shout "Bye all" over my shoulder and walk out the door, as I have seen others do hundreds of times. I still feel creepily disembodied as I take leave (finally), but I've found this is my best bet. When I was younger I used to try looking at each person individually, so as to pay individual respects, but if you stick to a script like that literally, and there are more than 3 people it will take too long and you will crash and burn. Reading through your story, I still don't see where you feel you messed up? Was it mainly the 1) playing What a Fiasco or 2) the awkward goodbye??

In order to cope, I try to self-depricate with sarcasm that is potentially humorous in nature. I'm a firm believer that if it can't stand the test of humor, it isn't worth being serious about, and from that, I try to make light of how bad I feel after my AS gets in the way of things.

I feel that I messed up because I keep on trying to push myself into situations I really don't know how to deal with. I survived, so I guess it's not a complete failure. I just don't know why I do this to myself.

There were several other moments last night where my anxiety just built and built from my AS, so the answer to what it mainly was is... Yes.

I don't get rid of anxiety in what I think is a reasonable amount of time so until I do, it can get pretty bad for me.

I was going to ask you if you buffed it with turtle wax to make it shine (your AS) , but after reading your post I thought I would just offer a virtual pat on the shoulder.

Very funny! (I think?)

I use sarcasm that way too...and they say AS people can't use sarcasm? Some of the best giggles I have had lately have been found here on WP. Humor of any kind is welcome to me. Though I have noticed that sometimes my idea of sarcasm and the typical idea of sarcasm are two different things....oops.

I had a friend explain to me his view of my use of humor. He compared me to his younger brother(also a friend but without AS) by our use of humor. The younger he explained brother is very good with saying the right thing at the right time to be funny because he can read people. Me on the other hand, he described as using quantity without an understanding of quality to be funny, and to joke, and be humorous. Sometimes what I say falls flat. Sometimes it's just not funny because it's the wrong thing to say, but sometimes I do hit the right buttons and say something that is downright hilarious to others.

Well it's a metaphor that I have heard many times and in many variations so I believe that it is intended to be funny. :/

I have studied humor a lot. Having originated in a dysfunctional home with drugs and alcohol dominant, Humor was a bit complex and often confusing and/or offensive. Often my attempts at humor are unsuccessful but at times I succeed. I find that understanding metaphors and being able to identify social situations appropriately help tremendously. I am learning these skills, but I also have the tendency to "blurt" in an attempt to be the first to make the joke because otherwise I over analyze.

I'm not offended, but I feel like an idiot and quite silly right now as I just got what you both were referring to. I'm chuckling right now at the pun I unintentionally made. I think it's a pun, or who knows, but I'm the last to laugh at my own joke because I didn't get it until now. Not the first time it's happened.

Threads like this provide me comfort. It's reassuring to meet others with similar logic and thought processes to my own. Thank you both.

Stardraigh, I wish you didn't have to experience what you did, but since you had the experience, I'm glad you shared with us. Otherwise I wouldn't have had the privilege of interacting with you and EmeraldGreen.

Internet High Fives all around everyone...

High Fives!! I think you are both very clever with humor. Boy did I get myself in trouble at work trying to use sarcasm. I usually get and appreciate the jokes my 7 co-workers fire back and forth at each other ALL DAY LONG over email (though, it does start to sound like a sitcom sometimes when - IMO - they don't know when to stop.....). Well one day I was trying to chime in and "replied to all".....something to the effect that so-and-so ought to embrace her true inner nature of bossiness...hahaha, etc, etc. Though the co-worker in question should literally win the award for being THE most self-deprecating humorist ever, she saw nothing funny in this comment. My insensitive comment was soon answered in the form of one of the rudest emails I have received in any professional setting. Though I was horrified and apologized immediately, this sent her into a pout that lasted for weeks. It was so much worse than awkward. However, one day she stormed away crying over unrelated work pressure and turns out I was the only one who cared to go find her hiding in a corner. Apparently, she appreciated that and FINALLY let it go.

at least it turned out o. k. good of you to express concern. I probably would have failed in that case.