nothing is acceptable.

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someone who I care about greatly is suffering. Depression, insomnia, irritability, antagonistic, fatigue, Nothing I suggest is acceptable, and I become the "whipping boy" for this person's anxiety.

I found information on some natural methods to address some of this. 500mg calcium citrate plus 250 mg magnesium, both taken an hour before bed helps insomnia, irritability, depression. Of course that isn't good because this person's mother had kidney problems and calcium can be expelled through the kidneys. This is just one example of many. When I try to talk to this person the only response given is s lecture about my problems and failures. It always is turned into a monologue of how I have failed instead of what can be tried to help this person.

The reality is that the only way I will win the respect of this person is to become very rich very quickly and "pay back" all the help this person has provided or gotten on my behalf. Even though this person becomes angry when that fact is even insinuated, the evidence still proves this to be true. This is disheartening. I want to feel like this person is my friend and visa versa but I don't believe that this person will ever see me as more than a failure. I owe too much to this person to be able to stay away from *, and if I did distance myself, I would be lectured repeatedly on "not living up to" my obligations, and how the distancing is just one more failure on my list. I know that the hurtful comments are because of the depression, but that knowledge doesn't make them any easier to bear.

Maybe I will win the lottery and be able to afford to "pay it all back" so that I will at least have the option of actually staying away the next time this person threatens to disassociate with me. It would hurt, but at least it would be an available option.

You are a wonderful friend for being as supportive as you are; maybe your compassion and concern is having more of a healing effect on this person than they are willing or able to show on the outside.

If this person is depressed, it is likely that they see themselves as a failure, so the person may be projecting those internal feelings onto you. Still, you do not deserve to be treated as this person is treating you.

Best of luck if you do decide to go the lottery route.