Need help about a lost friend

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So my friend on another site and I fell out a while back, because I got too clingy. I blamed myself for him changing in what I thought was a bad way, so I tried to help him, but he said there was nothing wrong. I also blamed him for making me angry whenever he went off randomly to play a certain game and he did not take the blame. I know I can't tell him what to do and what not to do, but I thought he could at least say sorry to me for making my cross.

And then somehting happened where I knew our friendship could easily end. . But I didn't want it to end until we reached the 2 year mark. I told him this and it turned out he had planned to end it and didn't want to wait. So I tried to make a deal with him just so I wouldn;t be as hurt, so I would still be staisfied enough, but he downright refused. So I blocked him.

I tried to ignore him, but I can still see when he posts stuff. It's like he's hautning me like a ghost who will just not go away. I feel I want to move on, and I want him out of my sight and out of my life, but I can't make him do that, so the only way to avoid him will be if I left the site. But I already tried that, and people missed me.

I want to unblock him, but not untilhe reconsiders my offer. He clearly does not want anything to do with me, so I've had to go even lower once again and settle with somehting else. But it does not completely count to me.

Also, if I unblock him, what if I try to talk to him about whatever he happens to mention, and he ignores me? That will only make me mad again and I might get in trouble again. I mean, I've even had to stop myself from using the talk box on the site sometimes to try and avoid trouble, but I shouldn't have to do that. I feel so oppressed.

So I thought I would ask forsome advice. I want someone to help us settle things and come to an agreement. Sure, we won't be good friends again, but at least I might be able to bear his presence again and just think of him as just another person rathe than THE BEST PERSON EVER like I used to, or THE WORST PERSON EVER like I currently do.

Sometimes you can't fix things like that. So many online friends of mine no longer talk to me. If you're going to communicate with him again, just say "I'm sorry and wish you the best, if you still wish to speak to me, I'll be on." And just leave it at that. Then the ball is in his court.

I dunno, I used to have lots of online friends at your age. Now I have like none. Even here I don't really come here to make friends, I now just look at my posts as talking into the air more or less.

Heh, I made a post on here of my old AIM buddylist, deleting everything. I had like 200+ people on there, and I'm now down to like 3-4 people I talk to on AIM. I left like 15-20 people on that I either wish to talk to again ever, but yeah. Online friendship is really fleeting. Unlike real life friends, they can much easier disappear and just not tell you they hate you.

I don't know what exactly my point is here. But this is pretty common. Having "ghost" ex-friends as you've described.

Its hard I know, but just let go of the situation completely. Deals or negotiations do not really work with this kind of thing. Try to accept in your mind its totally over and its best to not try to talk with him again, or at least until such time as you know you no longer have any feelings. At the same time treat him as any other person. If he is not contacting you, there is no need to block him. Try to pretend he is just another person, and in time that is very likely what he will become.

The best thing to have to deal with a hole or gap in your life is something new to fill it with. It may not necessarily mean a new relationship but just making new contacts and perhaps talking with new people or re-connecting with older friends. The way out is almost always forward, not backwards.

Well I feel I don't ever want to see him again, I want him out of my sight, out of my life, but blocking him does not erase him from the site for me, it just makes me unable to read what he says.

I must admit I did block him partly out of spite, though, but it's not like he's going to reveal how he feels anytime soon.

If like has shifted to dislike, then it sounds like you are already well along the way to having them out of your system. The stage of active disliking them will likely not last long once interaction has stopped.

'Out of sight out of mind' is then what your trying to do, and if blocking helps that, continue it.

You want to hold onto the site itself though and your other friendships, etc. If participating on the site still causes painful feelings, then limit your exposure to a minimum there for a while and try to pick up the slack with another site or interest.

Relationships really can be like a flu in their ending. Really hard to get thru at first, and then they hang on a long while and you just feel yucky. But the day finally comes when you start to feel better, as long as don't expose yourself again to the illness (talking about the ended realtionship with the person again) and have a relaspe.

I'd unblock him, go on posting like normal there and completely ignore him even if you have to fake ignoring him. Even if you don't actually ignore what he writes, do not respond to it or message him. If he responds to you first then keep it civil and respond back appropriately about whatever subject it may be he responds to a post about only. Keep it distant but not cold. Be polite like you would to a stranger and not very talkative, but do respond normally.

Give it some time, things may chill out, they can easily seem like more than they really are right now. Just remember, unblock, post normally, don't respond to him first or message him, and keep your dignity. You will be glad you kept it later on, no matter how things turn out.

I've been through similar feelings about 5-6 years ago on here. Something similar happened to me. I was somehow able to weather the storm. I was able to contact him when I was back in original form 4 years ago.

I have a suggestion for you. I'm sure you'll feel hesitant about it, but I am very sure that it will help you out a lot. Now you said that you tried to make a deal with him, and it didn't work. Having a guy as a friend is the same as having a boyfriend, you need to consider his thoughts and feelings, and if he does the same for you, then that's good, but both of you really should do such a thing for the other. You said that you were being too clingy. I understand if being clingy is a bit of a habit for you, but my suggestion is that you talk to him next time you see him, and apologize for being clingy. Then, ask him what all he'd like if you both made the agreement of starting your friendship over. You must be patient, so let him take his time to answer your questions. Then tell him what you'd like from him if you two were to start over your friendship, but you must be careful with what you say, for even the smallest of desires can sound like demands, so again, be very careful. If he apologizes, accept it. If he doesn't, then be okay with it. Afterwards, tell him that you will do your best to be less clingy to him and to follow his expectations as best as you can, and that you are willing to give him as much time as he feels he needs to decide if he'd like to be friends again. However, I would recommend you show him your honest feelings. If you're angry, though, best not to. If you're calm, then that is okay.
If your friendship with him is what you really want, try out my advice. Afterwards, let us know how well that went. Remember, don't be demanding. Even guys who are just friends do not like that.

Well, I remember the last time you posted about this, and my advice is still the same - the sooner you learn to let go of this, the better for you. You're still trying to make him do stuff he clearly doesn't want (the two years thing). You're just way too attached to that guy, and the only way to get over this is to make new experiences, get to know other people and to realize that you don't need him and don't depend on what he does or doesn't do. Unless the other forum is really important to you, I'd suggest abandoning it so that you don't keep "running into him", which kind of keeps this cycle of dependency you're stuck in alive. If you miss certain people, there are other ways to stay in contact with them.

Well I'm rather hesitant to unblock him because I can't ignore his presence even when I have him blocked. But I could always do it again if I need to.

Also, I admit I did like to PRETEND he was my boyfriend even though he couldn't really be.

If you were pretending that he was your boyfriend, you think that clinginess was more for the fact that you could possibly like him more than just a friend? Forgive me, but that's what what it seems like to me.

Put a sticky note on your monitor where you can see it that says "IGNORE HIM! PRESERVE YOUR DIGNITY!! !!"

By ignore, I don't mean not read. I mean don't respond.

Alright, so maybe I denied how I really felt. But I had a reason to. We don't know each other in person, and he's younger than me. So it's unrequited. So maybe I did lie to myself.

Also, he's apparently gone away for a bit, but I wanted to know where he went because he went abroad last year and if I find he did again this year, I will be so jealous because I HAVE NOT BEEN ABROAD IN OVER SIX YEARS!!

I think his life is better than mine. I bet both his parents work, he has older siblings who work, he gets more stuff than me, probably lives in a better house, gets more privelages...I don't even get many in-country holidays, let alone abroad ones.

And us not being friends anymore makes me want to hate him for that even more.

At least him being away buys me some time to try and move on. I need advice to help get him off my mind.

Jess, you are both still living in the microcosm of childhood where your life largely consists of what your parents put in front of you - I'm sure in a few years, when you start having to shape your own life, you'll wonder how you could've found those things you're jealous of so important.
The best advice I can give is to explore yourself as an independent person, figure out what matters to you and engage in it. The only way to get him out of your mind is to stop spending so much time thinking about him and his life and instead use it on more productive things.

Turns out he has internet.

Instead of getting mad, though, I just told him about how he's luckier than me. I also said sorry for being so spiteful and for making it an awkward situation. He didn't say anything to that but I would rather he said nothing than a bad thing.

Well, I'm glad you took our advice. And anyway, what should really matter right now is your own life. Enjoy spending find with family, do some of your favorite hobbies, discover new things about yourself and all that. When you become my age, you'll be able to have a bit more privileges, though you will have to think of the pros and cons of things in your life, but the age of 18 isn't all that bad really. Just be happy with yourself and everything will be okay.