Everyone is leaving me behind

Post Reply New Topic

Do you ever feel like when you organize something that the only people who turn up don't have anything better to do or just didn't get a better invite and think, oh well I might as well go.

I feel like that. Mostly old people turn up to things I organize. I have nothing against people my parent's age, I just feel like no one my age likes me. And younger people certainly don't want to hang out with me, not that I really want to hang out with them either.

I hate getting older I don't get to do anything fun anymore. I still feel young and not tied to anything (Ok so I'm not even 40 yet) but everyone my age has got married, some have kids, they have different lives to me and I feel like I'm all alone.

Most of the time it doesn't bother me at all, but sometimes I try and organise something to do and hardly anyone wants to go.

I remember when i was in my 20s I had a friend who would text me and say I'll pick you up in 30min and we'll meet some friends in the city. He got married, moved to the city and I never see him anymore. Everyone moved on and left me behind.

Now, I don't really want to get married. I know people that are unhappily married and it seems like a miserable existence to me, but I'm like a social pariah because I won't conform.

I wish I was in my 20s again. I was stupid and inexperienced and made alot of mistakes, but at least I had fun.

AW, I'm sorry to hear about that. I don't really know what to say except, keep your pecker up.

Sorry to hear this. I can imagine this being in my future as well. I am 23, so I am just reaching the age where I look around and see that, suddenly, everyone my age is getting married. I might get married someday, but it is not really in my plans. I always knew that staying single would make me different, but it didn't really hit home until I got to the age at which being single is no longer the norm. Hopefully, the community I end up living in will have a significant population of unmarried adults. However, even if it does, I have always been awful at arranging casual events or outings. If it is a formal event, where I send out invitations to everyone, I am fine, but if I have to call or text a bunch of people to arrange it, forget it. Most of the "parties" I went to in college were arranged by student organizations I was part of, and the rest were arranged by friends who invited me.

That being said, the only solution that I can see is to find and join an organization or club that has casual social events on a regular basis.

I'm 34 and have felt the same for a few years.

I guess if I'd given it much thought many years ago, I would have realised this was going to happen. I've never imagined marriage or children. It never once crossed my mind. I never got on with my peers anyway so not fitting in now is pretty much the same. I'm just glad there's no social pressure for me to pair off.

I'm sympathetic to what OP describes.
It seems my former peers have long moved on in areas which don't overlap with my life.
Mostly careers and kids, while I'm childfree (by choice) and on SSI, not employable.
It is a bummer to not to be able to find people around one's age to hang out with & be close to anymore.
Guess this lack is part of what the internet (and WP forum) exists for...

I asked myself that once - should marriage be our ultimate goal?

I even started a thread about it here on WP.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt236778.html

I think to an extent as we grow that certain things that were fun are not the same, or maybe not reachable anymore.

I still have some fun interests that I have had since childhood, but the nature of them has changed. To some degree they mature with us.

I would guess along with fun, you might also mean interesting, or engaging. I am not in your situation, so having to guess here a bit, but maybe the direction to look is forward, not backwards. What interest or activity might you try that can last thru the next stage of your life?

Thank you for your responses.

Interesting point Toysolider. What is fun? What I really meant was enjoying time with people I like. I like laughing, I spend alot of time on I can haz cheezburger because I like to laugh. But nothing really beats having other people to laugh with.

I have plenty of enjoyable things I do by myself. I very rarely organise anything for other people, just something once every six months and it always stresses me out, then I forget how stressful it was after a few months have passed and try again. It's a vicious cycle.

The problem is I've been quiet ill lately and can't even do the hobbies I enjoy. I'm getting sick of tv. My hands hurt too much to sew at the moment. I've started restoring some furniture, but can't finish because I'm too tired. My home has a sort of unfinished furniture look. I might start a new trend.

Not sure why I thought I was well enough to deal with people. Think it was a last resort because I'm bored and now I'm irritated because old friends not only don't want to go to this thing I've organised, some haven't even responded. Now I'm just depressed.

I don't visit family anymore because I feel like a failure at life. They ask me what I've been up to or have I finally met someone, who are my friends, etc and I have nothing to tell them.

That's a good part of the reason why I don't really invite people to anything - nobody ever shows up if I do. I realized I'd save myself mental anquish by forgetting about it entirely.