I can't form my own opinion!

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I am having a hard time forming my own opinion on life issues. When I ask a question, I often ask it more than once. I first listen to what my Mom/Dad thinks about it and then I have temptation to see what my brother or sister thinks about it. After that, I will ask a teacher, friend, or trainer his/her opinion. I get all of these opinions and it overwhelms me because I am not sure which one seem better. Then again, if I do form my own opinion, I get worried that it might be incorrect, which is why I ask multiple people about my situation.

I know that most Aspies cannot see the gray within the black and white, but I want to know if this problem of mine applies to this and if other Aspies have stress dealing with this as well. I would appreciate feedback.

Thank you.

Forming your own opinions takes a lot of experience and observation. I used to be easily swayed by other people's opinions too, but the pitfalls of taking on another's opinion are great and sometimes unexpected.

My advice is to learn as much as possible about the subject on which you want to form an opinion and to watch the people and situations to see how having a certain opinion affects the person who has it and the others around them.

Most people base their opinions on emotional reactions to things. If you are able to form your opinions based more on logic than feeling, I believe that would be a good thing.

I kinda know how you feel. I have a lot of opinions but I'm not able to express them very easily. I'm not even sure how they got formed.

For instance, in my mind I'm convinced that abortion is wrong because once those two cells meet and form into one, and that one starts to divide, it is something/someone entirely other than the ones who contributed to it And if it's still growing, it's alive and if the mother was a human and the father was a human, it's a human. But I also have a friend who had an abortion and I really do think she did the right thing. She couldn't endure a pregnancy--especially an unwanted one. She'd go out of her mind, seriously. She'd have to be sedated and restrained the entire time to keep from freaking out. So I really don't know what to come out with as my "official" opinion on this topic.

P. S. I have 3 kids, so I know what being pregnant is like. And I didn't really want to have kids at first, so I know what it's like to have an unintended pregnancy.

Don't feel pressured into committing to a viewpoint before you've come to a conclusion. You are entitled to take your time to think about things. Don't worry about not having an opinion on something; you may just not have enough information about it yet.

A lot of finding out what you believe has to do with sentiment. The views people hold are pretty much sentiment refined by reason. The key to it is to have a metaphysical dream. A viewpoint regarding the most important nature of the world and of man in it, of the proper destiny of the world and mans role in it, and the most important thing in existence which one will devote one's existence to advancing and form other values around it. So if you seek answers to questions you must figure out what value you value most. What value do you see as the most important of values, the value you wish to gain supremacy over the world and would wish the world and mans existence to be built around on. Then you must figure out what you believe the nature of existence to be; how existence works, why the world exists, why man exists, what are the mechanism that drive existence, what is the nature of man, and how can the world and man's character be improved. Then you must think of what you believe the destiny of existence ought to be; this usually is based on the idea of the value you value most gaining supremacy over humanity and it becoming the basis for a world order which advances it and creates harmony of everything with it; for which you must think what you believe the destiny of the world should be, what the destiny of mankind should be, and what values and practices will move humanity toward achieving this vision. When you have the answers to these questions you will have your metaphysical dream, which will give you a resulting sentiment. Once you have this you then apply this sentiment in contemplating questions and using reason to reach the solutions that will advance the goal of your metaphysical dream. So when you gain your metaphysical dream it creates the grounding that allows you to form other views based on that dream.

Thank You for your help.

The current pinion that I am dealing with is dating and relationships. My NT friend has dated many previous girls because he dates them (including holding hands and kissing) weeks after meeting them. He says that it can be tough dealing with ex-girlfriends though. My Mom and my family says it is best to wait for a while until I get to know my *crush* more before we even plan a date. Along with that, my support group tells me that the best way to form a long-term relationship is by waiting 1-3 years before the first true date (me and her all alone without a buddy). Topping all of that, my church group tells me that it is even better to connect the families (her parents and my parents getting along well) via parties/camping. Listening to all of these opinions make it stressful for me and I do not know which one is best.

Get to know someone for 1-3 years before having a date? If I did that, I'd be single for the rest of my life, no question about it lol. I think that that will only work for someone who either has a ton of friends, or gets really lucky with finding someone. The church is right, but you don't generally connect the families like that until you're already in a long-term relationship with someone. And how do you get into a long-term relationship? By dating people!

Now as for your trouble forming opinions, the best way to make a knowledgeable opinion o a subject is to educate yourself fully on the topic. The more you know, the better equipped you are to decide how you feel. And keep in mind that in MOST cases, opinions can be neither right or wrong, just differences of view.

Decision making I think is a function of logic. In other words, consider the options and likely outcomes and choose which seems best.

Dating/Love seems to have its own time schedule based on yours and the others feelings. Don't be afraid to try and spend time with someone you like, and if you sense the time is right ask them on a date with a group or individually. The main thing is to respect that person and always treat them well whether it works out or not.

Both of these things take practice btw. Making mistakes is normal and part of the learning experience.

Opinions come from knowledge, beliefs and experience.

The best way to form an opinion is to get knowledge on a subject, then form the opinion.

Don't worry if you can't do it instantly. Often times the best opinions are well thought out.

I'm kind of the same way, but usually I've formed my own opinion already and I will start asking others about their opinion in hopes they will agree with me to validate my opinion. Usually others disagree with me though.