Not sure what answer I'm looking for..

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So, I'm not sure what to expect or what answer I'm looking for.

Actually I think I'm not looking for one at all. I just want to vent my crap and see what happens.

So apart from the usual isolation and lack of social contact or friends, people can be so ignorant sometimes, even friends. It seems to me, unless I make 80-100% of the effort with people they won't bother to start a conversation with me at all. It seems like I get treated differently from others,.. almost like a secret little club where everyone just gets on and is like "who tf is that, I don't like them as much as I like others.", ...

I just find myself getting tired after keeping such things up, eventually I get exhausted and people wonder why I go quiet, why I am around less, etc. I start to wonder.. if it's normal for everyone to have to put that amount of effort in, cause it doesn't feel like it should be, nor does it look that way in others.

Does anyone know what I mean?

Yes.

Most of my life has been like that.

I stopped caring what people think of me.

Now I'm happy.

^^^
"happy," or happy enough?

A fair point. There is being happy for it's own sake (the choice not to be unhappy) and being happy because there is genuine reason to be happy.

I was in the former category for a few years, it was the acme of my achievement sans mate, until a wrong planet sweetie took a shine to me and made me genuinely happy.

That's cool man, good to know there's such a thing as a win. I forget what a win of any description is like these days, good to remember it can happen though.

as john lennon said, "life is what happens when you've made other plans." IOW I had no idea anything like this would ever happen to me, I was all set to die a hermit.

Haha man, I'm expecting roughly the same.

to die a hermit? us aspies should stick together more to prevent such things.

Hm I live as such, so I tend to worry about this.



That's a wonderful idea, does it work any?

locally with me, it works in that I belong to the Olympia square pegs aspie meetup group. we are a mutual support group and we help each other out as best we can. wrong planet is necessarily a larger and more impersonal outfit but people of goodwill meet here in the virtual sense and give each other remote support as best we can, when we are not arguing with one another.

It's lovely to hear that, and you seem a great person.

But there is no 'reason' to feel happy, it's simply a choice! Same as lonely, angry and so on. Not the same as hunger.

They're all internals. Why look to a transitory outside when the answer is inside?

It's like saying 'When I meet x person, I will give myself permission to feel happiness and contentedness'.

Why wait?

You know, I was thinking that lol.

because happiness IS largely conditional, in that it is awfully tough to be happy when one is chained upside down with one's head stuck in a bucket of horseplop. the conditions have to support happiness. happiness at the very least can be in response to some kind of relief [like being unchained and having one's head pulled out of aforementioned bucket of horseplop], but short of that it is very elusive.

OP, I kinda know what you mean about it being such an effort. I am the one who has to make the call if I want company. Nobody ever calls me. It's as if I cease to exist to other people if I'm not right there.

No, it is us that makes happiness conditional - which means that it is transitory. There are people all over the world whose lives are being chained upside down in a bucket of horseplop, yet they choose happiness.

Now, I'm not belittling anyone who has gone through the horseplop, is in horseplop, or will enter the horseplop state. But an external doesn't necessarily create an internal.

It's as simple, or as awfully tough, as we want it to be. It's elusive to those who haven't looked for it!

My choice is to be happy, no matter what animal product I end up in, and I refuse to blame anything - my past, my genetics, NTs, the 'system' - anything other than myself in this. Do you not think it's encouraging, that it doesn't have to be conditional if we don't want it to be?

Everybody's free to feel good.