Getting to Know a Girl...

Post Reply New Topic

Firstly....

I decided not to post this in Love and Dating, as that section seems to be filled with a group of very sad little people locked into a never-ending flame war.

Yes, I am fifteen. Deal with it. If you have any genuine advice to offer, it is greatly appreciated. If you are just here to use my age as an excuse to satisfy your need to feel superior to another human being; well, f**k off. Is that alright? Excellent. I will continue.
___________________________________________________
I do not care for the majority of girls in my high school. Most of them are pretentious, bitchy, two-faced a***holes who are capable of switching personalities in an instant.

However, a new girl recently arrived, and she is just incredible in almost every way. She is a genuinely kind person. When she smiles, this is representative of her true emotions, and when she disapproves of something, she isn't afraid to show it. She is an amazing artist. Her manga drawings are the best I've ever seen. Far better than any I have attempted in the past. Like me, she often daydreams and creates amazing artwork without even fully thinking about it. She also speaks four languages fluently.

Her happiness, passion, and enthusiasm for life make me want to be with her even more. Even just a casual friendship would be enough to make me happy.

However, I am socially-anxious, and there are times when I just freeze up and cannot do anything about it. We chatted very briefly yesterday and I thought it went rather well, but today - I f****d up. In our Art & Design class, she had to move a desk to sit with people working on the same project, and the desk was initially next to mine. Offering to assist would have been a nice and valuable gesture, but one of my "freezing" moments had to occur, and I just sat there as I always do watching every opportunity pass me by. I have failed, yet again.

Don't lose hope. I'm sure you can get closer to her in some way, (this coming from a pessimistic person).

I'm beginning to wonder if there's any point in trying at all. Whenever I try to befriend anyone, people always feel compelled to spread rumors about me and mock me for even trying. People who don't rucking know me at all feel as though they're qualified to judge me as mentally-deficient simply because I don't engage in their pathetic, meaningless conversations.

God, I hate high school. I can safely say that I would not shed a tear if at least half of them died in a plane crash.

Hi. I'm the dreadful old person, but I don't want to feel superior just to sort of give you my commiserations. It's really tough being a teenager and having sociability issues makes it even worse. I don't know what advice I can give you though other than to try and find a way not to freeze, but that's not very helpful, I know. Maybe you could just try and find a situation in which you can casually start talking to her about Manga and compliment her drawings..but really be careful to sound casual otherwise it will look too tense and creepy. If the other kids already talk badly behind your back there is nothing you can do. It never stops though and fyi, everyone seems to always talk about everyone else behind their back. I am still shocked by it even though I am reaaaaalllly old and should know better by now.

G'luck.

Hi, I'm sorry if my warning came across as being biased against all older people. That wasn't my intention, it's just that I have experienced a lot of discrimination by some extremely arrogant adults who try to show off their wisdom, experience and maturity by treating someone like dirt purely because of their age. The very worst incident occurred here on WP, so whenever I need to post something suggestive of my age, I always warn people that I can see through this pathetic behavior and that I refuse to tolerate it. That's all.



Thus far, I haven't been successful in finding any strategies for this. I think it's related to having a slow reaction time. While she was moving the desk the ideal scenario was running through my head at that very moment, but I just couldn't bring myself to offer my assistance in time because I wasn't prepared for interaction with someone so significant to me.

{quote="leafplant"]Maybe you could just try and find a situation in which you can casually start talking to her about Manga and compliment her drawings..but really be careful to sound casual otherwise it will look too tense and creepy.[/quote]

One of those situations occurred just last week. Take a wild guess as to what happened.

Yet again, I couldn't bring myself to speak to her fast enough, and just like that, the opportunity was gone. It seems I'm really going to have to work on this "freezing" issue. I may ask on WP for some advice.



It's a disgusting way to behave, IMHO. Still,we are talking about humans here.

Thanks for taking the time to post.

I give up. I'm sick of failing socially, but that's just part of my life, apparently. I have a week's holiday now, during which I'm now going to be depressed when I could be relaxing. I hate life.

What happened?

I couldn't talk to her. In all likelihood, I'll never be able to.

I don't know why I build my hopes up at all...

Whoa, dude. Don't do this to yourself.

What do you mean?

In other news, you are a teenager so some of this is like, totally normal.

If you wish to take a break from self-loathing (you may not wish to, I remember fondly suffering with pain of unrequited love for days, weeks and years), have you read this (How To Talk to Girls at Parties): https://play.google.com/store/books/det ... 1Mzpj9F1IC

Do you talk to anyone at school?

I don't talk to people all that often because of both my social anxiety and the fact that I cannot relate to most other teenagers.

OK, so you are a smart kid, think logically - how do you hope to be able to talk to a girl you like if you can't talk to people you don't even care about? What I am saying is this: try talking to random other people just to get some practice of talking casually about stuff. When you feel a bit more confident, then you can approach her or just start chatting if opportunity presents itself.

Maybe give yourself a challenge this week to try and talk to as many new people as you can possibly cope with without going into a meltdown. Start small, work up from there.

You have to start somewhere though, but you can't get on top of the Everest without climbing the mountain first.

I guess you're right. Thank you for the advice.

Mate, I used to have the EXACT same problem with the guy I like, and I'm nearly 25!

It took time, but I got there. It helped too that he was always really kind to me and the like. PM me if you want to talk about it.

Hey, you sound like me.

Except I'm 23.