Alone again......naturally

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5;40am, at my usual perch, usual time, usual sentiment...loneliness. Who can relate? Not my relatives, 4 sisters and a mother, within a mile and a half of me, oblivious to my existence between the daylight hours, when they, along with the majority of functioning humanity, seem to thrive, while my personality blooms only under the cloak of darkness.

Since I have no socialization skills, I feel like a troll, skulking the internet searching for outlets to express myself. Banned from the majority of chatroom type places I have found because my attempts at "fitting in" are so crude, rude and seemingly obnoxious that people will not tolerate me any longer. In the real world, after 57 years of existence, I can claim zero friends, but over the years I have managed to develop and destroy more virtual "friendships" than I have hairs in one nostril.

On the blog sites I have found, I have run out of ideas for new nicknames to blow myself up with. I probably have a couple hundred email addresses (no exaggeration,) over 17 years, but cannot remember the passwords to anything other than what I use right now, which is really only for registering for whatever I do while online. I have no use for actual email. Its ALL spam to me.

Why cant we mutants find someplace to fit into?

Is anyone even familiar with chatrooms anymore?, or am I fossilizing myself?

Is this what they call a "rant?" And is this the proper place for it, or should I go to CL and expose myself to the barbarians?

Sorry, I just needed, as usual, to vent.....

i can understand exactly what u say ... i've got the t-shirt etc yet u have blood kin, i've none in my solar system.

i as with all my life have the ability to 'get into' things that excite and fulfill me ... interests, hobbies, books etc ... i see self development as v important, one the reasons we are on this planet i believe. however i've never had kids sort of intentionally, sometimes there are pangs of sentimental regret but mostly i am glad the bloodline stops here, m age 55. My interests and activities have left all others behind .. I seldom enjoy the company of others, if so its with simpler ppl.

yes, i cld feel very excluded, but .. to hell with them ! !

I am also conciously trying to minimise online activity, ensuring i get more into books, developing skills and knowledge and the great outdoors, sunshine etc. I am lucky i live in a landscape ( or access to ) that some penpals argue is paradise.

hang on in ... think wider, ppl are really quite unimportant.



exc post, not a rant .... u shld hear mine ! !

I can relate to you two because I'm in the same age bracket. I'm also wondering "why" I am in the state I'm in, too. It's one of pure loneliness. My health is mes-a-mes. It could be better. I drink occasionally because these bouts of depression just kill me. I'm avoidant to the point I can't go to Asperger's meetup groups. In a sense I'm that old guy staring out over the world from his lonely perch in a house the neighbourhood kids must see as being haunted. So I guess I'm just the old man in the haunted house staring out at the world. Is that better than nothing?

i drink too to blot out and relax etc ... a routine two bottles of beer each evening. It can lapse to three either because I'm happy or the reverse, but I try not to.

red-robin... u never know, the local kids might NOT think of badly of u as u perceive.

round here i usually get a good feedback from kids, I'm sort of perceived as non-adult (at 55 ! !) full of amazing facts n stuff (if allowed to) but always on the move, fleet of foot, a man with a purpose ..... if only they knew ! ! All the windows at the front of this house are always fuly drawn and blocked by vert blinds. Thinking abt it i doubt I've spoken to anyone here for five years.

even the computer repair-man a few months ago when he got inside (ie he had been before) said 'Are you a sort of autistic or asperger/" ... damn that upset me ... and I said "No-one must ever know" ! !

i cannot go to groups of any sort, even last night i exploded in a shop ... shops are a complete no-no for me .... i have my Asian wine merchant and vintner thats enough .... even buying food is a problem ... luckily my wife does that.

theres so much to say.

and look .... we are a group of three ! !

You discovered usenet? Also called "newsgroups" - often seen nowadays as "google groups".

Steep learning curve; can be great fun for chat and argument. Excellent resource also for copyright piracy - another steep learning curve.

usenet? No, not discovered. Paltalk mainly for chatrooms and thoughts.com for "blogs. Other blog sites are hard for me to set up. I also take a lot of free clases from Coursera, EdX, and Education-Portal

why do u get banned from chatrooms and blogs

can you try to change urself a bit so as to fit in

i think we aspies are too blunt and too awkward

we need to be pleasant and control our temper then we can fit in anywhere