25, still the same tune

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I'm 25 and I periodically come here to vent. It is just like nothing ever improves. 7 years ago I thought I was normal and went to college and had a really bad time and learned I wasn't. Nothing is better. I have a job but I make under $11 an hour which means I live at home. I used to joke about being 25 and living at home. 7 years ago I contemplated ending it all. Now I'm still depressed, just not enough to do anything about it. When I was 22 I fell in love and now that toxic relationship is long over but I am as we speak being all desperate with him because I am so lonely there are no words. I have no friends. No one to talk to. So I make up stories in my head to keep me company. The problem is I know these fantasies aren't true so I'm always brought back to the reality of life.

I don't like my coworkers. I'm applying for grad school but despite never getting below a 3.5 once I left my first college I still have a 1 semester gpa of .8. And my job is only a year position so if I don't get hired for another year I still have to apply for jobs.

My family is fine, but my sisters have relationships now and didn't come home for thanksgiving which really bothered me even though I shouldn't care. It is Saturday night and I'm the only one home. Usually I'd enjoy that but it makes me feel so sad and lonely. Nobody calls me. My coworkers don't ask to even be my Facebook friend. Last march I tried so hard to impress a guy and six weeks later he fell in love and ignored me and is going to marry her. And I shouldn't be bothered but all I can think is what in the heck is wrong with me.

I hate AS. I just want a friend who I can vent to instead of the internet.

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. College also proved to me how abnormal I am. Even among the science geeks, I'm a weirdo. I do not enjoy college (about 2 semesters left).
I tend to get lonely on weekend nights, and I hate that I do. Even when I had friends, we only went out occasionally, so I don't know why I'm suddenly stricken with lonliness. I also never vented with a friend. I just pretended I lived a normal life.
So you got your college degree? I was confused by the .8 GPA.

I meant my first semester I got a .8 gpa I then transferred to another college and got a 3.5 or higher every semester. Yes, I have a degree, but it is useless until I get a master's this why I work a job that requires no degree.

I think the loneliness used to not be so bad because people invited me to do stuff even if it wasn't as much as I'd like. Now I have to initiate everything which is a sure sign you aren't highly valued.

I see other people with best friends who they can tell all kinds of stuff to but even when I had a best friend we didn't get into really deep stuff and I just want someone who I can talk to about my life. - the sad, the funny, the good. My ex was the only person who knew me.

I guess after so many years of being alone I don't have a lot of will left to try to make the best of it.

I am going to be 25 in august, I dropped out of college a couple years ago have not been able to find employment and am currently trying to appeal the denial of my SSI claim....and I am rather behind on paper work I am supposed to get filled out for the attorney but yeah I feel I haven't accomplished anything and am unlikey to and it depresses me. I am hoping to get on SSI and perhaps through therapy and such maybe get to a point where I can get a job doing something I enjoy and live that way but then again I'm going to be 30 in 5 years and who is going to hire a 30 year old with no job experiance living on SSI........uhh its very frusterating to me and I feel I should be living life more but I don't know how to get out and do that. I can;t even find any way to really meet new people or even attempt a social life.

I feel the only reason I am not currently contemplating suicide is out of pure stubborness and the fact I don't want to hurt my family members who are close, but I don't go a day without thinking about it at least a little. This is one of those times I wish I had a bottle of vodka and copious amounts of cannabis with maybe some opiates or benzos just to be on a different planet for a while.

Thingss have gotten a lot worse for me since.l I first posted. I begged my ex to at least think abot getting together he rejected me and that was my last hope for human contact. Like why am I living? Why am I doing this? I'm about to cry right here at work. It just feels like I have nothing for all these years of struggle. I have to beg people for even a moment of their time. I'm tired of living. I'm moving closer to the "dark side" than is comfortable. I don't know how to keep it together.

I'm 25 as well, and I don't have anything to show for it. I've been contemplating suicide for the past 7 years, and came close to completing suicide last week, but something got in my way. I don't have a job, and I have serious doubts that I'll ever be able to get one and maintain one. I have had SSI benefits for 7 years though, but it's not going to be enough if I live alone in the future when my family gets old and dies, which is terrifying. I'm scared to death of school, because of what people did to me in school, and I have no ambition or motivation for that anyway. I have no social life, and for a long time I didn't want one because I knew I would always fail. I just recently started wanting a social life again, but there is no hope for me in that department, so I'm still planning on either suicide, or Electroconvulsive Therapy, since medication does not work for me. But, I have to wait a long time before they'll accept me for ECT, and I have doubts that the treatment will even work, since nothing else has ever worked, so I'm probably gonna end up dead, or severely injured from a failed suicide attempt.