alone

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my ex and i broke up just before thanksgiving and remained friends. the morning of the first they wished me a happy new year, told me how their night went then completely stopped responding to me. On the same day all of our mutual friends (read all but 1 of my friends) stopped talking to me as well. No reasons why, no responses. just dead air. im alone and i cant handle it. my friend left is my little brother R who is 700 miles away from me. ive been alone in this house without any human contact since then outside of a few short online conversations with R because he has been busy and not around. ive barely been eating and i just cant handle this stuff anymore. i cant handle continually trying to build a life and having everyone just walk out on me like this. i have no where to turn for comfort. ive not left the house. im supposed to work tomorrow and i dont know how i will manage that. i just dont want to exist anymore.

Sweet Pea hugs

I'm sorry to here that. Maybe going to work will make you feel better. At least it will get you out of the house.

I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely. It's a difficult thing when people for some reason choose to just ignore you after a while. i've had that happen to me quite a bit, and it hurts. but i do think you should go to work since it will keep your mind occupied and perhaps you'll find someone at work who can become a friend you can rely on.

(((HUGS)))

i work in a manufacturing plant and having friends with co-workers doesn't happen. I am a queer trans girl and that doesn't exactly mesh with their view points so being friendly with them is almost impossible. I didn't go to work monday. I did go to work today. Had to lock myself in the dark room because of a break down. New therapist is going to call me today for a first consultation to see if we can work. but ugh.. on hte phone... it is going to be the worst...

Zaiden, you're stronger than you think. You can do this!

Sending love your way.

_________________
Katniss :heart:

I'm seeking friends to play games with on YIM, and maybe chat if we're comfortable. If not, that's ok too!
No pressure. Just games.

It will be hard at times, but you can make it thru keep your head up!

thought i would give y'all a bit of an update. still not real human contact. haven't felt the physical touch of another person since before the new year. found a therapist to see for a bit and am looking at options for inpatient or intensive outpatient and starting my life completely over. all scary things.

sorry for the double post.

I did find a good psych hospital near my little brother. Only problem is it would mean the loss of my job and so loss of insurance which means not being able to pay for the inpatient or intensive outpatient... so it is all just a lose lose situation.