Tired of having AS...

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I just wish I didn't have this diagnosis. It's only ever made my life terrible, especially all the stereotypes. I refuse to tell any of my friends about my condition, since I'm so worried I'll get stupid questions like "Oh, so do you flap your hands and watch Sonic the Hedgehog and My Little Pony in your spare time?", both of which are things you'd never catch me doing. I recently gave up an interest I felt was ruining my life, and am trying to escape the whole "narrow and strong interests" thing by focusing on more than one thing at once.

If I went to get evaluated and found out I didn't check all the boxes anymore, I'd be overjoyed. I don't want to let a stupid condition define me, but my relatives keep bringing it up all the time. They all want me to do something with my biggest strength, the Japanese language, which I now dislike thanks to having too much of it.

And worst of all, I'm worried that I'll be hated for trying to fit in better. I try and dress in cute clothes (rather than just throwing on a T-shirt and jeans every morning), I already talk like any other teenager does and I enjoy things that wouldn't be considered too out there by most people's standards.

I don't know what to do... I feel completely trapped.

I know what you mean. Sometimes I think I might be better off if I'd never been diagnosed but those who don't get diagnosed 'till they're in their 40s may have other problems. Don't discount your skills at Japanese. It's not an easy language after all. All those pronouns make my head spin. Some people will think it's cool. Japanese culture hasn't been this much in vogue since The Mikado. It's good in a way. Not once in my life have I ever been obsessed with anything useful or employable.

You should have tons of job opportunities now that Japan has gotten over their lost decade. I've found ignoring your obsessions doesn't help. When people come to my house they see shelves and shelves lined with video games and an arcade machine in the corner. The coolness of my possessions distracts them from how uncool I am and how my shallow life revolves around the acquisition of material goods (which somehow doesn't seem like as much fun as it used to). I don't think you'll be hated for trying to fit in better. When I was in high school I made no attempt to speak like a normal teenager. It didn't help. People found me arrogant.

What to do? Embrace your skills, embrace your strengths, be awesome. Your obsession may become your defining characteristic so you might as well take advantage of that. I guarantee someone will think it's cool. You only have one more year of high school left to endure anyway. It will go by very quickly so make the most of it. Take advantage of it anyway you can or you'll regret it a decade later (I speak from experience here) and don't forget to enjoy yourself.

Why did you seek a diagnosis in the first place? When were you diagnosed? I'm sorry you're so distraught. I found my diagnosis a relief. I personally don't think people will ask you the questions you're concerned about. My experience is either a person knows what it is and gets it or they have never heard of Asperger's and just ask "whats that?".

"My experience is that people will claim Asperger's doesn't exist and that those who have it just made it up to justify their behavior."

I'm sorry that's been your experience. Glad I never ran into that problem yet.

Not having a diagnosis would not change the way your brain is wired. Your problems would be the same, but neither you nor anyone around you would understand that it was because you have a disability you can't help.

You'd have the same handicaps, but instead of anyone understanding why you do things the way you do, they would be constantly yelling at you and telling you what an effing loser you are and screaming at you to stop being so difficult and stubborn. It wouldn't be autism, it would just be YOUR FAULT.

You'd likely get beaten by parents and authority figures for telling them you can't do everything they order you to do, because they wouldn't believe you and would insist you were just making excuses. It wouldn't be autism, it would just be YOUR FAULT.

Teachers and employers would bully you, insisting that you're plenty smart enough to do what they expect of you, you're just lazy and unwilling to try hard enough. They would flunk you and fire you and tell everyone what a useless slacker you are. It wouldn't be autism, it would just be YOUR FAULT.

Ultimately, you'd just have to accept that they must be right - you're definitely an incompetent loser, and there's nothing you can ever do to change it. And you would have no idea why.

Some of us grew up without any 'autism diagnosis.' It definitely DID NOT make things any easier.

Doctors do not really require social skills for dealing with clients. Personally I've found that the less sociable the doctor is the more competent he is.

If you don't want to go the medicine route but like biology there's still lots of work in the field... researcher, whatever the title is of the people that perform the blood tests in the lab, pharmacy, etc. Forensics is also fascinating... I almost went that route while finishing my archaeology degree but chemistry was something my brain could not wrap itself around.

Don't give up on a dream until you fully research it or try it out! 'Tis better to regret failing rather than regretting not trying.

Japan.. don't get me started. I too love a lot of things about their culture but after living in Tokyo for 6 months I learned first hand that there's a lot of nasty stuff hidden under the rug.

Nothing in the world beats their food though.