I hate my autism diagnosis

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I hate it so much. It doesn't describe me very well and the vast majority of people who know about my diagnosis assume things about me that are incorrect. This is detrimental to me because they just assume that all my problems are autism related. I could get reassessed, but I don't want to be labelled as autistic again or lose any services. I'm just too undefinable to be diagnosed with anything and a lot of people can't accept that. I wish people would just see me instead of a label I was given as stubborn four year old.

Get reassessed, please. You're driving me nuts with these posts!

Just stop telling people about it.

If only life were that simple...

I have. I'm only 17 right now, so people at school still know. Once I'm an adult, I won't tell people anymore.

This is what I would be afraid of if my diagnosis was common knowledge. Currently I can get away with being strange or reserved (sometimes I even get nice assumptions, like smart!), and those carry little baggage around here.





But it really does seem to be eating away at you lately.

It sucks doesn't it? I have denied myself I have it until over time I learned to accept it, be prepared to be trolled and bullied by ignorant as*holes on the internet! They can all go hang themselves though!

Weirdly enough, I felt the same way about my Ivy League diploma. I resented that it defined me in a way that I felt was so wrong, and set up horrific expectations for my future. That piece of paper said "This person is intelligent and competent, and has no excuse to be failing in life" – and I hated it.

So one day I tore it up into a thousand little pieces and threw it in the garbage. Never looked back. I refuse to be defined by that piece of paper, claiming that I should be functioning at a level that is so far off-base from the truth.

It has been. I really wish I could be a full human being. Being diagnosed with autism makes me feel subhuman. I just want to live life without this label. I could get reassessed, but I'm trapped right now. I'm applying for disability right now, I need disability because I get exhausted and stressed out easily. I don't think that is autism related, I think it's related to something that doctors are too lazy to diagnose. My autism diagnosis is probably the only way I can get disability.

Why do you care what anyone else thinks?

Why do you care what anyone else thinks?

Because that is the way I naturally am and the way people percieve me directly affects my life.

Last edited by DevilKisses on 05 Feb 2014, 2:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

Why exactly does it make you feel sub-human? because of how people who know about the diagnoses treat you? Anways getting exausted and stressed easily aren't exactly uncommon in autism...so it could be part of it. But things like depression and anxiety can cause that sort of thing as well..and obviously a combination of two or more of those can cause those symptoms.

Yes, but not just that. It makes me feel hopeless. It's also like a cancer that destroys my identity. It's hard to explain. I also hate when people say that my problems are "part of my autism".

Maybe I'm exhausted because of physical reasons that all my doctors have been too lazy to discover. Maybe I'm exhausted because of stress. I have a lot of trauma because of my diagnosis and I have pretty much zero support.

There is no forum for people who have been misdiagnosed with autism or any other condition. I know for sure that I'm not the only person who has been misdiagnosed with autism.

No professionals have confirmed that I was misdiagnosed, but many people on this site are self-diagnosed and still find community.

I'm mostly on this site because some of the discussions here are interesting, I enjoy getting quick replies and I'm just obsessed with finding someone who actually understands. I probably shouldn't be looking here since most people here are proud of their diagnosis. Maybe I should start my own forum.

Denial is one of the worst things you can do, actually. Trust me on this, from when I was 11-12 to when I was 16, I staunchly denied that I had Aspergers, and claimed on many occasions that I had "outgrown" it, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I finally realized that I was in fact truly an aspie when I was reading about it online, and lo and behold, I had an explanation for my sensory defensiveness, my social awkwardness, my communication problems, my stimming, my restricted interests, and my obsessive tendencies. I wondered for years why I was labeled as an aspie, and why I was treated the way I was treated at school, but I finally realized it, and embraced it as a part of who I am. I'm not perfect, and no one else is either. While a "cure" for Aspergers may seem tempting in some ways, I would most likely turn it down, as I wouldn't be the person I am today without it.

I feel way happier than I did when I actually believed my diagnosis was correct. I feel way more free to be who I am now. I do have issues, but I think they are mostly psychological.

Please just go to a psychologist and talk it over with them. It's awful that you might be misdiagnosed, I've been misdiagnosed with many things before they finally said I had aspergers. I went through a lot of trauma due to not knowing, and in fact I developed PTSD because of different methods of trying to "treat me". It's not fair. Please again, just go to a psychologist and talk about this with them. Don't even tell them you have aspergers. Just say whatever you're feeling and see what they diagnose you with. Good luck.