Losing my mind, really

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If you haven't noticed, I've gotten a tad bit on the crazy side lately. It's this menopause. I think it's going to be the death of me. I don't know what to do anymore. I got so much bad crap and drama going on that it's not even funny.

I really don't know what to do anymore, because even I noticed that I'm just not thinking right anymore. Trust me, I've noticed that I seem to be going off the rails but I am completely unable to stop it. One minute I think that I'm completely sane and right about things and that it's just everybody else with the problem and then the next I'm going "Oh s**t, I'm losing my mind". There is absolutely no therapy available, because you can bet cash money that if it was I would be there with bells on. I got money problems, I got marriage problems, I got kid problems, I got Ole Boy problems, I just don't know what to do anymore. I really don't.

I know that if I stay strong and ride this s**t out it will all be better, but I'm so damn tired of staying strong. I honestly just want to get in bed and have somebody take care of me and bring me soup or something, but nobody wants to do that. I really, really, at this point in my life, need somebody to lean on, but there isn't anybody. So, I'm totally aware that I've gone crazy. Also, several of my phobias and quirks have gotten pretty bad. It's hormonal, I'm sure, but that knowing that doesn't fix the fact I still have to go through this. I honestly know what I have to do to fix this, and that's just too hard for me to do right now. Does that make any sense? It feels like everything around me has gone completely to hell. Part of me, the one small sane part in there that's left, is watching it and just shaking her head at me. I do not know how this will end up, but I don't think it will be good for anybody.

Anybody else here been through this before and came out on the other side ok? Cause I sure need a word of encouragement please. I knew menopause could make you crazy, it did that to my own mother but she got hormones and then went back to her normal baseline crazy so things were as usual. I can't get hormones, I can't even go to the doctor. Last night, just because I was mad, I punched a hole in my bedroom wall. It's like I just cant take anything anymore, like everything is being put on me or something. I want to cry but I can't even do that because I've really never been able to cry. I think it would help, but I can't, so I just focus on anger instead.

Just send me good thoughts, if you are religious then pray for me, I don't know. I just want somebody to put their arms around me and tell me it's going to be ok. That's really all I want. Even if it's BS, I just want to hear those words and have somebody take all the pressure off me for a little while. Because all the pressure for everything, all the blame for everything, it's all put on me.

I just don't know anymore.

{(((((((Hugs))))))))}
It will be alright, you will get through this.
Life can be unbearably painful at times but you will survive.
I have times where the past threatens to steal my mind and
I just feel like rocking and cackling like a loon, but it passes.
I don't know what menopause is like but I can relate.

Thank you. ((hugs)) back at you.

Menopause is when women get late middle age and your periods stop. You have a huge bunch of hormones going crazy in you all the time. It's like having the worst PMS ever, but it lasts for weeks or months and comes and goes. I'll be 50 in April and it's about that time. Mine have been irregular for quite a while and some months I'll have one really long, heavy one and then one short spotty one. In December I had one that lasted about three weeks and then nothing at all in January. Then I started yesterday, but it's all spotty and everything. I just wish they would go on away for good. I'm so sick of the mood swings and the night sweats and the headaches that if I could afford a hysterectomy, I would get one. Basically, menopause gives you a horrible hormonal imbalance that lasts a while.

Sounds like a frustrating nightmare.
Hopefully they stop completely for you sooner
rather than later

Well I didn't like to say anything OOM, but since you have, yes I did think you was going a bit funny.

Not to worry though, I reckon you'll be ok. Just stick with it.

I don't mind if you're a bit loopy anyway, it takes all sorts to make the world go round.

Just don't go ending up in the pokey.

My mum said being on menopause tablets helped a lot but I know some people can feel worse if they are wrong for them. It must be hard if your family don't want to take care of you. Being completely alone is actually weirdly less bad than having people all around but nobody being of any help.

Hope you get through this. If you can't afford to see a doctor, maybe look into some natural alternatives for HRT? There seems to be some useful info on this site: http://www.wellsprings-health.com/pages ... wwodCRgAfw

[[[[[HUGS]]]]]] I think that menopause is rougher on people who are autistic and/or have ADHD. It was for me. Progesterone cream from the store helped alot. The problem during menopause is not so much the decline in estrogen as with the uneven spikes. The progesterone evens it out I suspect that if I had started progesterone cream earlier that I might not have developed breast cancer. Also, excersize helped HUGELY. HUGELY. There is a book that helped me greatly during menopause titled "The Wisdom of Menopause." by Christine Northrup. This book made all the difference. On a spiritual as well as physical level. She talks about menopause being a time for rediscovering yourself, of realizing the NEED to take a break from nurturing others to nurturing YOURSELF. Yes, I said NEED. So pencil in time for yourself before anyone else gets on that schedule.

Poverty and always worrying about the bills sucks [ I know] and being deprived of sweet little extras because of having no money also sucks. And feeling guilty for wanting extras when you can't even afford toilet paper also sucks. There are a few things I used to do, and should start again. I think I will right after the retreat.

I am a more extroverted autistic. I get the impression that you are as well. If that is not the case, discontinue reading. I used to throw 'Goddess Parties." Everyone would bring something to eat, either super healthy or sinfully decadent. Women would bring nail polish and we would give each other [those who wanted them] manicures and massages. Everyone would bring stuff [clothing jewelry, kids toys, video games. anything] which would be putout. Everyone would just help themselves to what they wanted. These events were relaxing, pampering, ,made everyone feel less deprived, and you wound up with cool stuff [plus got rid of clutter] for free. If you are not introverted, maybe this would help.

A "Housewife on Strike" sign planted in your front yard might help too.