WHY do people always cheat on me?

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404nf
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08 Feb 2014, 5:53 pm

Well, I'm pretty fed up of people using me and then leaving me. I have talents just like everyone else, although mine are extremely narrow, and extremely useful and profitable(in a money sense).

I don't like working alone, not because I need other people or I am incapable of doing work alone, but I need someone to share their opinion or shed some insight on my work, or someone who I can constantly keep showing what I've done so far, just like a kid keeps showing his mom his drawings. I am extremely immature in that aspect, whenever I make something, I HAVE TO go up to my mom and show it to her first, I just don't get satisfaction until she tells me its nice.

I'm a serial entrepreneur. And I'm 16. Not that my age matters, really. However, I've started multiple technology ventures, all with different people. People come in willingly, work with me nicely for quite some while, and then f*ck me up and leave. This has happened EVERY SINGLE TIME. Yes, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Every single time I've tried a venture with someone else, be it commercial, non-commercial, a just-for-fun project, people always be nice in the start, work well, and then whip my ass and leave me shattered.

Not that I have an over-inflated ego, or I'm a rude person(Ok, maybe I am, I wouldn't know, but that's the general opinion, aren't we all?), but I am always as nice as I can possibly be with my partners/staff, yet they always leave me for no apparent reason. Leaving is fine, but they don't leave in peace. They try to erase any progress that has occurred up until they leave(read : delete databases, rm -rf / --no-preserve-root, delete source code, etc.), and then they try to make my life hell, by bringing me bad publicity, attacking me(read : DDoS, physical violence, verbal abuse, emotional traumatization, etc.). This just happened with me last week, and I'm shattered right now. I am deeply hurt, depressed even, and I am in a very wobbly state of mind. I even considered closing this venture, but that would leave a huge black mark on my name, so I can't do that. Why do people always do this to me? I haven't done anything to deserve this. What should I do now?



Mindslave
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08 Feb 2014, 6:05 pm

I have no idea how to properly answer this question. I do know that losers are often attracted to ambitious people, so it could just be that you are extremely bright and capable, but lack the proper social filter to weed out the cockroaches. Also, considering that you are entrepreneuring on computer source code at such a young age, you are bound to attract mini-Hitlers empowered by their ability to control people through superior computer knowledge.



OlivG
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08 Feb 2014, 9:37 pm

It's possible that you are unintentionally rude. I knew a guy like this and even though it was (probably) unintentional on his part, I'd do all those bad things to him if I had to deal with him anymore. He was that infuriating.

It could also be that you might live in an extroverted culture where even being different is punished to a greater degree than it would be in a more aspie-like culture.

Also what Mindslave said.



LittlePigLocksmith
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09 Feb 2014, 12:38 am

Personally, I've never understood the motives of people that did things like that. Just because you don't understand their motives, doesn't mean you can't protect yourself though. In the past, I've defined my special interest as "security systems". Not all security systems are things that beep when you open a door though. All the big tech companies take precautions to keep things like what you described from happening. If an employee of Genericorp with security clearance gets pissed off at his/her boss and decides to share the company's secrets with Competitor X or otherwise sabatage the company, there are ways to identify and neutralize the threat as well as reduce or completely do away with any damage done.

In no particular order: To prevent them from deleting source code, databases, etc. save it all somewhere that only you know about. Either buy an new hard drive (or hard drives) or do what I sometimes do and scavenge for electronics that have been thrown out. Just be careful about where/how you store them for reasons that I'll assume are obvious to you. I always keep the static-proof bags certain components come in just in case I need to stick a hard drive somewhere unusual.

Screen your employees carefully. I don't know what your hiring process is like now, but it never hurts to be a bit circumspect with who you let close to your projects.

Pertaning to physical violence; I don't know what you're like physically or what level you have with physical confrontation, but a little PT & training with weapons as well as in unarmed combat is a good thing for anyone in my opinion. Depending on the laws where you live, you might also be able to buy pepper spray. This is generally better than a tazer because it gives you a greater range. If you can't buy it, it isn't that difficult to make. There is a wide variety of self-defense options out there.

Bad press is something that's a bit more tricky to deal with. I've been able to deal with every other kind of attack I've experienced with relative ease, but as soon as someone starts framing you for violent crimes & spreading slandor, all you can do i condict yourself normally and hope that people see the truth. Not everyone will, but there's not much you can do about it.

If you'd give more specific examples, I could give better solutions, but as of now this is really all of the advice I can give you.



Greatsharkbite
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09 Feb 2014, 1:21 pm

Hope you feel better and if you're just venting hoping you're able to relieve some of that stress. But.. probably need more information as mentioned for possibly any viable answers.

I mean, peoples definition of "nice" differs greatly. I also agree.. age possibly doesn't matter for you--but how old exactly are the people you're working with? Also what type of technology?

I mean you don't have to answer any business related questions but things are very situational and there aren't any descriptions.. for example what happened before they tried to mess with your database, or DDOS occurred? Did they say they were unhappy with you in any way shape or form? (I'd imagine you'd be the boss of these business ventures of yours"

Sixteen is a weird age--some people can be very mature at the age--other people are still kids at that age and kids commit to things less often than even adults do.

Also looking at yourself as a possible cause for the problem is something someone who doesn't have an over-inflated ego does. Also no--not everyone is a generally rude person. Rude means you have no manners, or impolite, possibly disrespectful-- not everyone is this way.