Should I try to Support my Family?

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Aitrean
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17 Feb 2014, 11:29 pm

This thread has a long story to it... If you want the very short, sweet version, scroll to the bottom.

You see, over the last year, my parents have been going through one of the most dramatic breakups in history. My mother is bipolar and refuses to admit it, therefore we've been having weeks of peace interspersed with violent fits of rage from her, complete with police visits and all.

Needless to say, my father wants to end this toxic relationship to take custody of me and my three siblings. Unfortunately, one of his last ditch efforts to please my mother a few months ago was to enter into the contract of buying a new house. He did this to keep her mind focused on a project, to give our family a change of environment, and to get out of this neighborhood - we're racking up a reputation with these police visits.

Unfortunately my mother's sessions have become more frequent and never-ending. We cannot clean the house to sell it - she wont let us. We cannot move anything in the house - she wont let us. Everything we do is a point of conflict for her. My father, therefore, has decided to declare bankruptcy. There's a high chance my siblings and I will lose our home an have to downgrade, and my parents will lose vast finances to pay for lawyers and bankruptcy fees.

TLDNR Summary My parents are having a divorce. My father will have to declare bankruptcy, sell our house, and still support me and my three siblings.

I myself am 18 years old. I'm a senior in high school about to enter into post-secondary. I WAS accepted into computer science at a university, but there would be large student debts associated with it. Even if I paid off those student debts through internships, it would still be at least 5 years until I would start making money without student debt. Meanwhile, my father and siblings would probably be in rather poor conditions themselves. I just don't see how I can justify tens of thousands of dollars on university spending when my family is going bankrupt. Should I change my plans and go into skilled trades (which has a nice payoff straight out of high school) to support them? Should I push for a decent military job? I'm so incredibly lost and I don't know what to do any more. Nobody will listen to me, and I feel like I'm charging into the dark on this one.



Waterfalls
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17 Feb 2014, 11:37 pm

Who is the nobody in "nobody will listen to me?" I can't tell you what to do, of course. But if your family is who you mean, maybe you don't want to give up your dreams even temporarily to stay trapped with people who don't listen.



cathylynn
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17 Feb 2014, 11:41 pm

make any choice except for the military. pay is not that good and you'll be no use to your family dead.



Aitrean
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17 Feb 2014, 11:44 pm

When I say nobody, I mean people outside my family. My mother refuses to even speak to me, and my siblings are all younger than me, they shouldn't have to concern themselves with this. My father listens, but he never told me one way or another what to do. As for friends, I have quite a few, and yet, none of them really sympathize. Most of the time the response I get is simply "yeah, that sucks". Some of them straight up wont talk to me about it. Yes, I know, I hope to establish NEW friends after high school.



cathylynn
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17 Feb 2014, 11:47 pm

sounds like a good dad - letting you make your own decision.



Fnord
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17 Feb 2014, 11:52 pm

Here are your options:

1. Drop out of school, support your family, and forever regret having passed up your one opportunity for a better life for yourself while your family takes you for granted and you work every menial job you can find until all your will to live has been sucked out of you..

2. Stay in school, earn a degree while your family struggles, graduate, and then become the one person that your entire family depends on for its existence. You won't be working any menial jobs, but your family will still take you for granted, and you'll eventually wonder why you even bother to care.

3. Join the military, take out a massive combat insurance policy, volunteer for front-line duty, and hope that your family gets enough of a payoff to afford a decent funeral for whatever remains might be returned to them.

4. Forget about 1, 2, and 3, move away from your family, forget about them, and life your life for yourself.



Aitrean
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17 Feb 2014, 11:56 pm

Alright, I should clarify. When I say military, I'm referring to a technician or even officer position. In Canada they aren't even hiring infantry right now.



Fnord
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18 Feb 2014, 12:00 am

Oh. In that case, have at it!

That's how I escaped poverty and homelessness -- as a SATCOM/LOS specialist in the U.S. Navy for 6 years.

Too old for Officer's Candidate School, though ... :(