Do you ever feel like you just can't talk to people?

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I can't believe how alone I feel sometimes. Lately it seems like everyone in my life has either moved away, or they are too busy with work and a relationship to do anything with me. I go to university but I am a train wreck at making friends, and I am just starting to notice how terrible I am at small talk. Sometimes I get the feeling that people just assume that I'm crazy and weird, because I'm often quiet and don't know what to say when it comes to chit-chat. I think people don't want to get to know me, and if they do get close to me, they won't want to be around me anymore because of who I am inside. I can't seem to shake this feeling, and it doesn't help when it comes to making new friends. Well, thanks for letting me vent WP.

The secret to small talk as far as I can tell is in the preparation. I'm sure you do fine when it comes to college exams. What's the difference between a conversation and answering questions on a test? They both require you to explain information you learned or memorized at some other time. Conversation is also supposed to be fun. So brush up on the things that interest you, then simply communicate them to whoever. If the person you're talking to doesn't share your interests, don't worry about it. Not every person is supposed to be compatible.

If you're just looking to talk for the sake of talking, asking questions is a way to facilitate conversation. There are always five questions you can ask about anything: who, what, when, where, and why. Asking even simple questions gives people the impression you care, even if you don't. As such, they're more likely to ramble on about something or other that you can then, in turn, ask about. They might even stumble onto a topic you actually have something to say about. They'll think you're a good listener at the end of it all.

If, for whatever reason, you find yourself with absolutely nothing to talk about, and the five are letting you down, rephrase whatever the person just said to you into a question. There's something of an art to it admittedly, but once you get the hang of it, it's quite easy.

And mysterious and aloof always works better than quiet and shy. lol.

im the same...small talk...cant do it

I get this a lot. I feel detached from others. Want to be in on their fun but can't.

Yeah. Sometimes I just can't. And sometimes I don't want to. But yeah, I understand.

Yes. I get that sometimes.

Wow guy, I feel exactly this way, with a little difference. With the years I've (more or less) learned how to do some small talk, but I hate to do small talk. When I talk to someone about some topic that he will accept, I feel I'm wasting my time, since that person won't talk about any of my interests (since they are quite elitist, to tell the truth) and I really don't care much about anything else. I probably won't remember that conversation 10 minutes later, so I really hate doing small talk. So useless and futile. And, at the same time, this is the only kind of talk that I can do with anyone I know. No one to REALLY talk to. Does anyone feel the same?

*raises hand*


-SpaceCase

I hate small talk, and you can't just go off constantly bringing up subjects that most people aren't interested in. Case in point: I saw the superbowl game with some other guys on sunday, and I hate football. I don't understand the game, so I can't make meaningful comments about the game and I struggled to get through it without being too quiet, or trying to bring up a topic that itnerested me. It was tough, but I guess that is the real world?

Yeah, sometimes i just want to be let alone,
sometimes i wish i could keep the small talk going but i just find no words,
I ask a lot of questions,
I talk about my interests only with people who are into them

It's a weird subject for me. Most people, I get almost this gut instinct (well, not instinct, instinct suggests its a good idea) or feeling rather that I simply can't talk to the person. Something about them (or what I want to talk about) just doesn't get the green light. Others? No problem. Unfortunately that "Others" list is fairly limited, and it also still takes into consideration the subject.

Last class I had today, the whole idle chatting stuff was no problem with the professor of the class I was in. It just came naturally, and more than that, comfortably. I don't know why, how, or any of that. Nine times out of ten, that's not the case, I just lock up. Even conversations with my friends, I feel like I'm running through a mental script. Saying some form of "yeah" or "uh huh" every so often, throwing in the one sentence of related information to show I'm paying attention (which I am) and just letting them talk. Right now I'm having a hard time thinking of the last time I started up a conversation. I'm beginning to think more often than not it's the other person starting it. Unfortunately that realization isn't all that much of a boost to my current mood.

I hate talking alot of the time.

I can talk about things I like or with my friends.

Its really hard at work when im expected to talk to arrange things as I just want to shut up and hide in the corner away from everyone. I even email people in the same building rather than pick up phone.

Its harder in the support group as i get majorly stressed. They make us sit in a circle close to each other. I always get told off for moving all the chairs around so I have a bigger space between me and other people. Also I try to move back a little to distance myself.

Even with good friends I prefer to listen and can sit there for hours not saying a word quite happily. Ive even been asked if theres anything wrong, when I was happy listening.

*raises both hands*

Some people are better at talking to others. It's a skill. I'm not very good at it. Usually I start saying something if something peaks something if my memory, especially if it's related to my interests. Otherwise, usually the talking goes on around me.