Keep having sudden anxiety attacks about social things

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I keep on really worrying and worrying about how I perform socially, and just lately I keep making more social blunders than ever before. Or even if they aren't social blunders, I still analyze it over and over. I'm trying to do social banter, but I seem to fail at that and accidentally sound offensive. Then I think ''oh, they're NTs, they must know what I mean''. But because I don't normally joke around (I laugh at jokes but I don't verbally make jokes myself), I think people are unsure with me. Also I sound very nervous a lot of times, which makes a wobble in my voice, although I use the right facial expressions like smiling and all that sort of thing. I know I'm not that bad on making facial expressions because I have watched myself on video before and noticed I made facial expressions and even natural eye contact, and I was like ''I don't remember doing that when it was being video'd'', and they were like ''yeh, you make more facial expressions than you think you do'', which gave me a bit of self-encouragement.

But anyway, yes I often overanalyze things I have said to people and think ''oh my God did I say the right thing?'' I sometimes get so worked up about what I have said to people and also how I live my life, and I get silent panic attacks. If something I do doesn't feel ''normal'', I think ''oh my God what a freak I am, why do I do that? Does anyone else do that? Am I the only one who does that?'' And it just goes round and round in my head. Also I think that I'm the quietest person in the world. I think of all the people at work who I have never had a conversation with even though I have been there quite some time now and so have some of those people. Or I worry because I don't get enough birthday cards (or any at all really) from people at work and I feel like I'm the quietest, loneliest person in the world. I know I'm not but I have yet to meet another person who is as quiet (or even quieter) and as forgotten (or even more forgotten) than me. Even other Aspies I have met seemed less shy and socially anxious than me.

I could say I worry for England. Does anyone else worry and overanalyze social situations? I do feel alone in this.

You are not alone - I worry and overanalyse social situations all the time, ...repetitively round and round in circles (plus, I'm shy). But this is logical to me - well if you don't have inbuilt social knowledge (i.e. the innate ability to just absorb social data) then naturally you need to observe, reflect and analyse social situations to form some sort of peaceful understanding of what is happening. So the more social interactions I have the more I have to analyse to try and form some sort of understanding. It is quite normal for me to repetitively analyse (through thinking and writing) a troubling social interaction for months even years, until I find some sort of peaceful resolution through understanding, "aarrrh so this is what I said wrong and this is why the person got enraged, upset, hysterical etc".

Sometimes I am trying so hard to get along with people and say the right thing, that I think I radiate waves of anxiety and put people off, they just can't get way from me quick enough. I used to think how rude of people, just to walk away when I trying to make conversation. Then I came to recognise my higher pitched voice/tension in my body and realised I was felling anxious talking to that person and possibly they felt uncomfortable around me??

I use to worry endlessly for hours about something I'd just said to a person. Then I came to realise "it's not all about me". That person has their own life and they've probably just forgotten what I said 5 minutes ago - it's just not important/relevant to them and their world.

So unless they explicitly tell me I've said something inappropriate, then I remind myself they probably forgotten what I've just said and are continuing on with their day. So I need to let it go. I know this hard work.
(If I have said something inappropriate or later realise I may have said something wrong, then I immediately contact that person and apologise etc. Often to only find that I didn't offend them in the first place!! But at least I have peace and no further nagging worry.)

Are you getting into breathing difficulties when having these attacks? Hyperventilating? Negative adrenaline kick?

The reason I ask is because your post reminds me very much of a younger sibling's problems. I suspect she is on the spectrum. Her attacks sometimes caused her to faint. This was mitigated slightly by

a) Learning breathing exercises.
b) Carrying around a paper or plastic bag. Apparently breathing into a bag helps.
c) Carrying an inhaler. She isn't asthmatic but I suggested to our GP that it might be beneficial, if only for the placebo effect and giving her something to 'do' with her hands. GP agreed. (better than taking up cigarettes, I suppose)

Apologies if I'm getting the wrong end of the stick here, but either way, go and speak to your GP. Take a relative or friend if that helps, and if not, take a version of your OP printed out. Put it into bullet-points or something, keep it as a backup if you don't think you're getting your concerns across in a verbal manner.

You are most certainly not alone in this and I can unfortunately relate. I sometimes even overanalyze a simple "hello" when a stranger greets me on the street which can keep circling inside my head for days.

Keep in mind that most people don't remember the social blunders you make. Usually they haven't even noticed you made a social blunder to begin with. I try to tell that to myself but I just can't stop overanalyzing social situations.

I used to do that alot but I got better. I had a job that kind of forced me to be social(retail) & I tried to stay focused on my job instead of everything else going on. My work ethic was appropriated by most & they were nice. I was also on various psych meds that made me kind of out of it menially/not think quite as much about things. I quit all the meds when I quit working(long story) & I wasn't as bad as I was when I 1st started working but I still felt anxious & analyzed a lot after things. I started taking Buspar for anxiety after abit of research because I was having panic attacks & worrying about things within a relationship. Buspar helped me not have panic attacks & not worry as much & I started making more improvement socially again due to not feeling as nervous. I started taking a med for OCD after abit of research due to OCD issues with getting over the relationship that ended shortly after I started Buspar(she realized she was better without a relationship at the time) & I quit analyzing things as much in general including social after my OCD improved. I think I still worry more about social situations than a typical NT but I'm alot better than I used to be.

I know that I will improve socially if I didn't get so nervous and anxious in social situations or events. I only have very mild Asperger's, so not many of the symptoms show up on the outside. My Asperger's seems to be more of an emotional disorder to me, where it affects the way I think and feel about things, and it will only affect me a teeny bit socially if all the social anxiety could be taken away of lessened. Not only I worry about a social faux pas, I also worry about my social life and I spend my whole time comparing my social life to other people's. Like once a friend (who has some strange ways about her but can't assume she's on the spectrum) said she was going on holiday. I asked who she was going with (out of polite conversation) and she said ''I'm going with a friend of mine''. Inside I felt a small feeling of panic come on, and something in my mind started saying ''even she's going on holiday with a friend, how come I never have friends close enough to take me on holiday, how do you get close enough to people so that you can go on holiday with them? I feel so lonely, what am I going to do???'' But if course I had to pretend I wasn't feeling that way, and just carried on the conversation as normal.

I don't think I recognise my good points in life so much. So say if I saw a shy person at work having a hearty conversation with someone, I think ''how come they're having a conversation? I feel so alone!'' - and I don't shrug and think ''hang on, I did have a hearty conversation with someone this morning. I often have a conversation with people here, it's not like nobody talks to me...'' But I never think that. I just worry about loss and feel like everything's a loss. Perhaps it's a paranoid fantasy I live in.

I think these thoughts are caused by my lack of friends. I think about how small my social circle is, and think ''well, there must be something bad about me if I have that silly amount of friends.''