I just can't get on top of this. Please help.

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I am so lonely I could die. I spend all my time alone and I find it unbearable. But at the same time, even when the opportunity arises to go out and spend time with people, I just can't do it. I don't know why. So there doesn't seem to be any hope.
I don't know what to do. I am feeling such despair, I can't see a future in this. I can't see a future for myself. I really don't know what to do.

Force yourself to go out even though you feel you can't. I'm not saying you're going to enjoy it, but it's necessary to keep one's sanity. Look at it as taking medicine.

Yeah loneliness can get to you. You have to try and find a way to distract yourself from it. any hobbies or interests that you have that can help you out with this?

How can I force myself? That is the problem, I just can't do it. Usually I don't get invited to anything, but on the few occasions when I do, I just can't go, even though I want to.
I am really getting desparate. I can't bear this loneliness.

What is it that keeps you from going out when the opportunity arises? Is it fear? And of what?

Start with small steps perhaps?

Rather than wait to be invited see if you can invite a friend or family member (not a close relative..aka not your mom or brother or sister.. something more like a cousin or so that you dont see that often) out to eat every now and then to start you off in going out and weaning off the anxiety/fear. After that you could move on to more things like movies.. or bowling/other stuff... its up to you.

Try to enjoy yourself. Just go out. Try not to give yourself any expectations, plans, or ideas. Just try to keep an open mind. You dont need to say or do anything really. If someone invites you, just wear a seatbelt, and tag along. That is it. Easy peasy. If I get too lonely, I go for a walk, grocery or window shop. Sit down some place public and eat or something.

What are you afraid of?

I don't know exactly what it is that stops me. It is almost as if a paralysis comes over me. I just can't do it. Even if I go through the actions of getting ready and so on, when it comes time to leave I just can't do it.

It sounds like panic to me. I am extremely reclusive. I guess I am just too paranoid. I don't trust people's intentions when they invite me to hang out. I am afraid that they want something from me, are setting me up to abuse me. Do you have a friend or family member who you feel comfortable around? Perhaps you can go visit them. It is important to try to get over this with people that you are comfortable with. For me, just a visit once or twice a week with a close family member is all I need not to feel totally alone.

know how you feel. hugs.
but please don't dies

You have to talk with someone about this, a professional. This isn't just a personality quirk, it's a serious problem.

I don't have any family near me. I have one or two friends but they are probably not going to stay friends with me when I keep not turning up to things.
It seems to be getting worse. It is hard to even go to the supermarket. Though I manage to force myself to go to the supermarket because I have to get food for my cats.

Yeah in a lot of cases it's not possible to "get a friendly push." Not sure what to do in those cases either.
Aww alessi, at least you have your cats...

AW!
every single aspy that has ever been born knows exactly what you are going through!
it's fear and bewilderment and anticipation rolled up into a snowball and thrown in your face!
Every time you try to get the guts up to go out in public!

social situations are where we are our weakest and WE KNOW IT!
and so do all the NT's around us!




I disagree with every other poster except I_wanna_blue

Hobbies and interests are the one thing we have in common with NT's
You are Far more likely to find friends, acquaintances and/if/or lovers
in a chess club,
a martial arts studio
a quilting guild
an astronomy group
a garden club
etc

in other words,
whatever you're interested in, follow that up

Many times, my enthusiasm and passion for the subject that the group was focussed on, overwhelmed my fear of the group

I don't like saying this, but I have made myself do ALOT of things I did not want to do. You just have to make yourself do things. Otherwise you will be stuck in a closet, playing with a teddy bear your whole life. I can only really give you one other piece of advice. Take something with you that makes you feel at ease. It is no different than carrying a gun when you walk in the woods alone at night. You don't carry it because you are going to shoot something. You carry it because it makes you feel safe. It reminds me of when I went to the fair with my parents. ALOT of people everywhere. I rolled up a couple posters I got for free, and carried them in my hand the whole day. It was like a stimming stick . I wouldn't let go, and I was fine the whole day.

I understand. Have you told your friends about your fears and panic? Do you think they would understand?

I have to agree with one of the other posters. I think a psychologist can help you with this. In fact, I would highly recommend talking to a psychologist about this. Didn't you have something traumatic happen to you that makes you scared to go out? A psychologist can definitely help you find ways to not let this fear keep you trapped in the house.