Dont know what to do.

Post Reply New Topic

Cant feel much of anything aside from anxiety and numbness....I cant seem to make it go away no matter how hard I try. I keep fighting off suicidal thoughts because I dont particularly want to end up in the psych ward again but if that what I have to do to stay safe I suppose I will. Just stressed lately. I got an SSi back pay check and bough shoes and a couple other things I needed and quite a few boxes of inscense and a comfortable sweater....But yeah I still feel empty and numb and quite useless. I mean crap I try to put myself out there and enjoy some things but when I am done I still have suicidal ideation and wish I didnt exist. It just sucks trying not to feel suicidal, but I might need impatient treatment again. Ive been trying to distract myself from the misery I feel but it doesnt seem to work and I find myself thinking of suicide or self harm.....and I just dont feel very comfortable talking abuot it with people......Just dont know quite what to do. Just some rambling I guess...just dont know what to do anymore as I cant seem to find any kind of happiness.


What even is there in the world today?

I just dont know anymore.

I got nothing.
Sorry, I usually have ideas or opinions.
Maybe I just don't know enough.
But I hear you.

that's alright, mostly just had to vent about how I feel....i really dont expect a concrete solution from any passerby though I do try to learn some from everyone I end up talking to.

I don't know how any sane person could not feel suicidal in this world. I get through it by taking enormous amounts of medication. It works. I wouldn't say I'm happy, but I'm not in emotional pain. Distraction is a good idea.

I can't really relate to what you are feeling but I wanted to say something anyways.

I don't have any advice but I think its a good thing you realize that its not good to feel like that.

And you said you don't feel comfortable talking about it but if you want to talk I'll listen or I can ramble on about nothing for a long time if you need a distraction lol.

I am pretty sure I didn't help much but hopefully by the time you get this you are atleast feeling a little better.

I won't take valium or any of it's derivatives. I had a bad experience with it. Became addicted and withdrawal is awful.

Have you ever tried any of the anti-psychotic drugs like Resperidol or Serequel? If so, did they help at all. I'm on a combination of Serequel and Abilify/Effexor (anti-depressents.) The Serequel helps a lot with my mental balance and judgement.

I cannot stand that feeling, makes me feel like I could kill people or myself without even caring just not a pleasant feeling....as for being serious well I am sick of feeling this way though dark humour is something I somewhat enjoy even if I feel like crap.

You know that outsiders, that is those of us who respond, have limited knowledge of your situation and there is a lot of guesswork and maybe some assumptions made.

Anyway, my impression is that a part of what your experiencing is due to a lack of sense of purpose or direction. Its not the whole thing. Your condition and circumstances are of course of more immediate concern... but once you are fairly stable, you do need to have something you work towards, persue, dreams, goals. Without that, life can be pretty empty.

Some things you might do, simply because you can. Things like school, volunteer work, activism. It is important to simply keep moving. Other things you might do or investigate because they interest you. We all have abilities and now is a good time to figure out what yours are. There are tools, like tests and questionaires you can take that will help show you what you have potential for.

I know each is an individual and what works for me might not work for you. I find the meds usually make things worse. Either from side effects or having the opposite intended effect. Add to that some are addictive and I hate dependency of any sort. I have been thru some very low points in life. One thing has always kept me from going over the edge is music. Maybe that sounds dumb but for me it works. And it is mood dependent what I listen to. Mostly I will admit very dark music which everyone says that's so morbid and would drive them nuts. But for me, it has the opposite effect. So as dumb as it sounds I listen to varying kinds of music depending upon my mood. Admittedly mostly dark metal. YMMV