stress plus serious mental issues caused by others

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am absolutely fed up and am fed up of getting knocked down by sockpuppet trolls private messaging abuse or abuse from users -twice this week including an abusive slanderous comment made by users that had gave nothing but respect to in the post of mine but got utter crap in return PURELY because am severely autistic and have a positive view of what our autism is like instead of wanting to be seen as a burden ,eg- http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp6010472.html#6010472

am suffering from an extremely painful and difficult L1-L5 spinal injury caused by the police and daily ID hospital restraint last year/this year and holding onto mental health very thinly.
am not medicated for the spinal injury and its f*****g agony,am unable to communicate or even show that pain either,it just comes out in challenging behavior which is normal for self anyway as a form of communication so staff dont realise am in pain,and when have managed to communicate it across to them that am in pain,they dont believe it because am not doing all the NT behaviors that they do when theyre in pain,this is why they arent medicating it.
felt like smacking the doctor one when at a push he said he woud prescribe extra paracetemol [US=acetephomen?] or ibuprofren, this is all over that f-king 'addiction' label that a random hospital consultant added because he didnt see the NT behaviors of someone in severe pain and assumed was addicted.

am waiting for an MRI scan but because am under the mental capacity act they had to do a 'best interest decision' first which has added on loads of waiting time;IE its been months in planning,also have had to do transition visits to the MRI scan machine,am going to be given midazolam whilst under the scan as aparently theyre noisy, but they said the ear defenders of mine cant be used as theyve got metal on them.

in fact the ID team pyschiatrist not long ago increased the halperidol because of severe PTSD [chronic and acute] ,worsening challenging behavior, anxiety and depression,nearly ended up back in greenways hospital again one night due to how severe challenging behavior was,am stil waiting for the increase to happen;its been over ten days why the hell do they take so damn long communicating with the gp.

people-including self always say to take a break when stressed from comments,but have actualy being doing that already because of the stress,and then had come across that comment tonight and ended up head banging and cutting self;hadnt cut self for a while and arm was really healing up, being unable to communicate issues verbaly to support staff they hadnt a clue what was wrong,its easy to say take a break from the internet but for some of us its our life line to communication and being able to express whatevers building up in our heads.

have also been up all night,its now fully bright here in the UK at this point and have not been to sleep;am supposed to be going to a beach with the two support staff and dad and am not going to be able to go am like a zombie.

am fed up of people online in general who dont think of the consequences their words can have on other people,they think its all about them and f-k everyone else.

why is it,that am LFA and have ID,yet am able to be polite and respectful in posts of mine [or dont say anything at all to the people that have issues with]?

am very good at pretending things are fine and no one-especialy people online know about problems,but then it blows up like this when someone with an awful attitude comes along.

That thread has become very controversial and has been stressing me out, too. I have been having exams and really screwed up the one I had tonight because I lost control of myself last week. I had a breakdown tonight after the exam because of my poor performance on it.

I do hope you stay positive about your autism in spite of your problems. I have major issues with stress, as well, which is why I lost control of myself earlier and didn't study enough in the end. The reason I started the thread in the Parents' Section was because the neurodiversity/parents divide has been bothering me for a long time and I finally figured out what it was that was concerning me, which is why I posed the question to the parents. I didn't want to hurt anybody by it. I always wish we could just all get along and find a point of agreement.

I also don't believe there is such a thing as high-functioning and low-functioning. No one has the right to say how high-functioning or low-functioning you are just because you can post on this forum. I think you can generally say who is severely autistic and who isn't, though, so they are two different concepts to me.

A lot of parents are just very tired. I think all humans are egocentric and if they say something wrong, it's probably their problem, not yours. Someone told me recently that there was a study conducted on effects of Internet use and it was found that people who use the Internet become much more concerned with what others think of them. People behind the computer screen don't know who you are and can say a lot more things that are unintentionally hurtful just because they have never met you in person. I used to have a blog and then deleted it just because someone accused me of being something very bad when I was just trying to process my own thoughts through writing. People generally seem more harsh on the Internet than they are in real life, at least to me. I guess it's just a drawback of this kind of communication. I've developed more of a "thick skin" lately, but it has taken me a while to develop and I'm not even sure how I did it...

When I read the responses on that thread or when people on Facebook attacked me for that one comment, I just thought, they're parents. They're tired and they're coming from their own perspective. They won't see mine as easily and will probably try to resist it somehow because its's foreign - some may not end up understanding it at all no matter how hard they try.

Anyhow, I just want to encourage you to take the Internet less seriously and take care of yourself first. People don't know how much you're going through and when you try to write things out, people may misinterpret things more and more. I drove myself crazy trying to write everything about myself down as clearly as possible back when I had my blog and it just made me more anxious and obsessive.

This.

True sword is the one you don't use.

The person who coined the idiom "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" clearly had no idea what the flying f**k they were talking about. Words CAN hurt people, and they most certainly do. I should know this as I've offended many people over the years, and been offended, and getting a severe tongue lashing, in my opinion can leave much worse scars than most physical injuries.

It may be difficult, but once in a while you need to put up a mental fence, and not just let anyone in. Sometimes people need to help themselves, and they should not be listened to. This is a preditorial universe. You know they are baiting you. You know they are making you the prey. It is a childish mental peasentry that should be discarded. Your life is rough, no doubt about it. It is a shame onto the people who treat you like a toad. You cannot expect everyone to have the internal mental capacity to understand what is going on. Sometimes they can only see things through thier eyes, and it doesn't go any farther.

This isn't a counterargument and maybe this goes a bit too philosophical, but this came to mind when I thought about the situation KingdomOfRats described.

In my opinion, yournamehere, there is no such thing as a predatory universe. It’s an abstraction that takes the eye from our own eye and places it to a distance that no longer hurts the soul.

Let’s take for instance a mother who starts to jump all over KingdomOfRats for telling e.g. that even severely autistic persons can lead an enjoyable life. At that moment the mother wants reassurance for her feelings (e.g. my life was taken by autism). In that point the mother doesn’t want a reminder that the burden she is talking about is a real human being who would also have a view and say, even if in other points of life she very well acknowledges that. But in that moment the autistic child is a burden, because the feeling is such.

If then reminded of the human being that has taken the form of a burden, mother’s positive self-image becomes endangered, and thus she starts to hold it up by defending the points she made and by attacking KingdomOfRats. When in fact an easier and a way more constructive option would be to let that "soul grinder" do its job, and say: yes, you are right, I have a feeling, I feel tired and angry for not being able to live the way I used to. It has nothing to do with KingdomOfRats or the points she made.

We all have feelings, but the crucial point is how we write them to the world. What becomes of these feelings? The feeling the mother had, has actually nothing to do with KingdomOfRats, nothing to do with all her arguments about cure and so on. But because she couldn’t really look with her true eyes, because it hurts to see, she placed the eyes outside, to a distance. And from a distance it’s also easier to hurt others, even if only because you are blinded by this “eye removal”.

When things become cosmic, like a predatory universe sounds to be, you are taken of all responsibility. It’s the universe, for God's sake! But what if our eyes are the only things in the orbit?

Life feeds on life. It is necessary.

Like I don't know that...?

Or you just wanted to play the predator...? Sorry dude, you picked the wrong prey. I am on top of the food chain....

Hey, I recognize that quote! It's from a Tool song!

Anyway, I definitely agree, the world is a cruel, unforgiving place, and human beings, like many other animals, tend to be predatory by nature.

The fact that the universe is preditorial, and life feeds on life is not just in a song from Tool. It is a native american way of life. And I'm pritty sure that the sun is at the top of the food chain. Don't go getting all scientific on me either.

Hi KoR - sorry you are being treated badly. I'm a little overwhelmed with life myself these days. Sending you big hugs though! Thanks for being you, no matter what anybody says to you!