Struggling With The Daily Grind

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I just can't seem to cope very well anymore with just going into sixth forum/school day to day anymore. I just all of it is so draining and overwhelming, I want to be happy, have friends, feel secure, feel I can be me yet i'm just stuck day to day feeling lonely and isolated and all I'd doing is working away. I just don't want to do this anymore, I could cry or scream or shout out load, I honestly don't know how I keep it together for the most part, I if could just leave now then I would honestly I don't know how much longer I can put up with this feeling pressing down on me.

I don't care anymore about my work, whats the point of having good grades if I'm not satisfied day to day how will I ever cope with working let alone school. I know I can do things and have friends etc, I know what I can do to make me happy but all this on my shoulders dose not help my self-confidence problems, self-esteem issues and depression, anxiety you name it in fact its probably helping to cause them.

You've got the weight of the world on your shoulders. What you need is some fun.

Here's an exercise for you. I swear this will make you feel better.

Tomorrow approach 4 females, all strangers if you want, or a mixture of females you know and don't (but no family members).

Compliment them. Don't tell them anything too general like "you're pretty" or "you are beautiful". Instead be specific. Check what shoes they're wearing, do they have nail varnish on? Are they wearing lip stick? If the answer is yes to any, you could say "That lip stick/nail varnish really brings out your skin colour" or "those shoes really complement your outfit well" or "that lip stick/nail varnish makes you look radiant".

Or tell them something nice about their hairstyle or their standing posture.

Don't hesitate or appear nervous. Before you do it, say to yourself, "I will not say 'uh' or 'umm'". Just launch straight into it. Don't speak too loudly but be confident knowing that you are probably going to cheer someone up and in turn make yourself feel a bit better. And if they don't quite hear just calmly repeat yourself, don't speak too fast.

Give it a try.

I understand the feeling.

When will you take your A-Levels?

After A-levels, you could relax for a while, whilst searching for the university of your choice.

(LOL, in the US, whilst is actually "while," so one could say: "I want to relax for a while while I am going through this mess.")

I'd add whatever positives you can right now, even if it's something as simple as TV shows you enjoy.

Then I'd explore more effective ways to study, probably adding skimming techniques to your dive deep techniques if you're anything like me, and then you'll have more free time for everything. And please remember, doctors skim medical journals. There are a variety of legitimate skimming techniques.

Then maybe join groups unconnected to school that you're interested in anyway, such as orienteering, political activism, community theater, etc.

And then I'm going to provide a link to Paul Graham's great but flawed essay "Why Nerds are Unpopular" about how hierarchical and narrow high school is. Like I say flawed, I don't agree with him across the board, and it is about American schools, but I think he probably does bring up some valid points.
http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html

Thanks for the advice everybody some points is just like to say are 1. My current problems are not work related I have an exam this Thursday and I'm well prepared work is not and issue for me and the consent anxiety and lonely feeling that I have. 2. I agree that even though I would love to have a girlfriend or even just a really close girl I'm friendly with (iv always felt of gotten on better with girls because I'm kinda effeminate) I however agree that it's not a wise idea to get a boost for talking to girls.

I'm getting sick of my daily grind too. I hate my job, I hate getting up in the morning to go to my job, and I hate having to clean myself up in the morning so I can go to my job. I just want to roll out of bed and screw around on the computer all day. I have another shift tomorrow, my third one in a row, then I FINALLY get a f*****g day off. THEN, it's back to the same stupid grind again!! ! People wonder why I want to find a different job, THIS IS WHY!

Now, aspies like myself are supposed to "like" routine, and I like it to an extent, but my job has just the "wrong" kind of routine. I have a tedious morning grind, then when I actually get to work I never know what to expect until I actually walk into the f*****g deli, and lately I've been left alone a lot which drives me nuts since I tend to procrastinate and get stuck on minor details when I don't have someone watching over to guide me. It also doesn't help that we're severely understaffed, and we often have one or two people doing the same work at least 4 people should be doing. I may not like the social aspects of group work, but at least it makes things go by a lot more smoothly when you have everyone working on one individual task instead of juggling half a dozen different things. As well, I don't like how my superiors have been f*****g with my schedule lately, so I never quite know what days I will have off until I see the next week's schedule. This makes planning things more than a day or two in advance virtually impossible, ESPECIALLY on the weekend.

f**k my job.

^^^ I get the feeling man, today has been really s**t for me in everyway.

At school I was close to having meltdown, I just felt really anxious today and I had trouble even asking the teach stuff to do with me upcoming exam so I left the class super tence and a bit stressed and genral with a feelnif massive weight on my shoulders, I then went to find a good old TA freind of mine in the autism centre and was told she was in this block, I went to the particular block only to be stopped by other people un the sixith fourm that did not knoe I was even in the sixith fourm (woooo im a ghost) only to be told so by one of them who was in a class of mine, I then try find this TA but she is nit thier either so I give up and head back on the way hearing these guys say about me (the ones who did not know me).

So in the afternoon I was that stressed I did not work around all the others in thr sixith fourm area instead I went somewhere where I could be alone work and gather my thoughts plus talk a lil with katie (Imagnary girlfriend). Next on my journey home my taxi driver moans about the late arrangements for picking me up later due to an exam on Thursday and then to top it off I come home tell my mum about my taxi drivers moaning about her and she gets pissy with me being a lil ticked off with her about it etc, she then gose on about me how I need to do more etc be more independent and arrange my own life and tell her like 5 times to just stop talking as im stressed and I want peace, I warned her loads but eventually I broke down started shouting and then had a meltdown, I feel suoer s**t right now

It sounds like you were somewhat in the wrong, for blaming your mom for bad outcome when the cab driver was in the wrong, but then your mom went on and on, even after you asked her to stop talking. I can see why you started shouting at her.

Okay, for starters, the cab driver should not have complained about a schedule change when he or she had at least a 48 hour notice. And maybe in the future, consider saying something like this to the driver, 'My mom is a pretty alright lady. She may not be perfect, none of us are, but she's a pretty alright lady.' Then he or she may feel bad about complaining to you about your mom, or not. But try not to invest too much of yourself with someone who you really don't know all that well, who is really more of an acquaintance. Although I still make this mistake from time to time, and that's okay. That's the zen of it all, okay to make the mistake, just adds texture to life.

So, the cab driver objects to a schedule change more than two days in advance.

Really?

Well, apparently so.

Just goes to show people can be unreasonable in all kinds of ways. They truly can.

I get that yea I was not complaining at my mum I was just asking her what went on and feeling her not to be so demanding in a way as my taxi driver me tied she said "well if you don't want to do it just say" to which he responded badly to as he though she was basically saying out right that he did want to do it which he did but because of other arrangements it's been hard for him to sort. I just wanted to tell her because I am actually friendly with my taxi driver since he had taken me to school every day for 3years and we know each other well. It's just I did not want my mum is always complaining I don't tell her things on my mind when I do bam this happens. The thing however that got to me was that she did not stop she turned one thing in to all my problems and every issue which sparked an argument even when I said she should just stop he continued and stressed me out.

Just though't I'd update ya all that I managed to sort everything out with my mum and its fine now, I also went over my Dad and his new partners for the first though being super scared I enjoyed and had a good time as her kids and all where very kind to me. I also have gotten my exam out of the way but still waiting for the therapist appointment on the 5th June as well I need it as I may have sorted so stuff out but I still have allot my weight on my shoulders.

I'm glad you got things sorted out with your mom. And I think you're merely a human being for shouting and having a meltdown, and that's okay.