Sometimes, I wish other people weren't so happy

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Sometimes, when I'm in a bad mood, particularly when I'm depressed, when I see other people acting "happy", I'll be jealous of them and wish that they weren't feeling so "happy". I find that whenever I'm going through something like depression, I feel much more comfortable in the company of other people who are depressed or otherwise disgruntled with life, than I do with people who feel good, are "high on life", etc. Is this normal at all?

Its understandable, I feel that way to I mean like I never wish unhappiness on anybody but generally I'm pretty unhappy and that probably ruins much chance of people being friendly with me but when I'm around those who are happy yea I am pretty jealous but I don't wish them unhappiness just makes me feel even more depressed.

It's much easier being around people who understand.

And some people seem to exaggerate happiness if they're around someone who is unhappy. Which does make it worse. As does totally ignoring the unhappy person, like they are invisible.

Happiness is contagious. I enjoy seeing a laughing baby. I hate to see a crying baby.

Perhaps some happiness is forced, insincere, etc.

However, if we lose the capacity to be happy because we don't want to appear insincere, I believe our existence will become much darker, indeed.

Im happier when I'm happy and others around me are happy, but when I'm down and others are happy that's makes me feel worse.

Pretty normal. Happy people want someone to share their happiness; unhappy people want someone to commiserate with.

On top of that, happiness has a stamp of social approval. We're supposed to smile and laugh and be happy. Unhappiness is stigmatized, something we're not supposed to do or feel or God forbid show.

So on top of feeling miserable, you feel guilty for feeling miserable. Which makes you more miserable.

I once ran out of a restaurant and hid in the woods on Mother's Day.
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Why??

Because I was miserably depressed, and heavily medicated, and my kids were coloring on the table, and I couldn't think of a single happy, perky, cheerful thing to say. And I looked around the restaurant, and say all the other happy, laughing, chit-chatting people, who probably had their own problems and were probably miserable inside, but goddamn good and well had the wherewithal to paste on a smile, force a laugh, and make people believe it.

And I realized, in that moment, that I was completely inadequate as a wife, a mother, and grand-daughter, and a human being. I realized that my family would be better off without me. I took $500 out of the bank, bought a sleeping bag and a single-burner multi-fuel stove and a two-man tent at WalMart, and disappeared into the woods. I made it about 2 miles before my husband realized I wasn't out smoking a cigarette and called the cops to come track me down and drag me home.

To this day, I don't know if he merely feels responsible for me, if he's terrified of raising these kids alone, or if he values me a lot more than I value myself.

I always feel bad when other people are happier than me. Everyone thinks I'm selfish but I have my reasons. Like, last night was the last prom at my school and I didn't go. I could never get a date and I would feel too uncomfortable after doing distance learning for the last two months. The only person I could go with in my mind would be my ex-almost-boyfriend (nice title, huh?) and I haven't talked to him since my junior year. I never planned on going and I even made a gyno appointment for prom day last year, but it made me sad to see all the pictures on FB of everyone so excited and my mom was upset to look at them because she lost that chance too.

It also makes me sad about other people going to college, and I am not going to walk on graduation day next week, even though I know my parents and my uncle and grandmother would really like to see it after all the tough things I've been through in the last four years. In the end, I just end up feeling awful, not just about the reasons why I'm not happy, but also about the part where I don't want to see anyone else happy.

misery loves company.