I just don't know anymore.

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Right now I am in a dark place in my mind that I tend to dwell in from time to time when I am not in my fantasy world of everything is fine and nothing is wrong. I suffer from anxiety so much that I can't even go somewhere fun without vomiting due to anxiety. I try all the techniques from breathing to telling myself everything will be fine. I get so anxious that I keep a bowl in my room that I use to vomit in just in case. I am terrified as to how I am going to survive when I can't even go bowling or play mini golf with my family. If my parents were to die god forbid I probably wouldn't be able to take care of myself. I would probably just end up in some mental facility cause I would just be curled up in a ball crying. I am in college with no job without any idea as to how I am going to pay everything back. I am on medication that helps with general anxiety but doesn't make it so that I don't vomit whenever I have to leave the house and they tell me all I need to do is get back into a regular routine of leaving the house again. I take classes online because there was no school close to me that offered the courses I wanted to take. Every year my Anxiety gets worse and worse to the point where I dread waking up in the morning. Right now I just feel scared and depressed and I know it will pass like it always does and I will go back to the delusion that I will be fine and everything will work out in the end. I am truely worried though, I can't sleep at night sometimes due to anxiety, and I tend to wake up with my heart racing and I don't know why. I just don't know what to do anymore I don't know what I can do. All I want to do is fall asleep and never wake up because it feels like the only time I get any peace is when I am sleeping. I don't mean I want to die because death scares me more than anything I just don't feel like I can do anything in life. I dream of days where I will wake up and everything will be fine and I will be able to just live my life without having to be anxious all the time. I don't expect anyone to take pitty on me or even to care I just need to get this out of my system because at this point I have no clue what else to do. I have hit a wall that I don't know how to get past it seems too high to climb to wide to go around and too thick to go through.

practicing often actually getting out of the house is your best strategy.

Sounds like you might benefit from seeing a Psychologist or Therapist. Are you doing that by chance, or have you in the past?